


The Things Unspoken

by Palatinedreams



Series: When Stars Collide [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Feelings, Fights, Hive Mind, Hives, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Revelations, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:01:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 61,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24591964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palatinedreams/pseuds/Palatinedreams
Summary: Atlantis has returned to Pegasus a couple of weeks ago, and the New Lanteans are negotiating a future alliance with Todd and his Hives. There is one condition Todd is insisting on that might change John's life forever though, because he wants him to spend three weeks on board his Hive together with him and his crew, and John suddenly has to deal with feelings he's kept hidden and locked deep inside himself for far too long...
Relationships: John Sheppard/Todd the Wraith
Series: When Stars Collide [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817311
Comments: 106
Kudos: 153





	1. A reasonable demand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eos_x](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eos_x/gifts).



> This idea has poked me for quite some time, and I finally gave in and started writing it down. I really hope that you'll like it, my dear, it is my small thank you for all your constant and unwavering support. <33
> 
> **Please check out Eos1969's wonderful _Fanart for 'The Things Unspoken'_ , she drew some very fine piece of art for this story!!!**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atlantis and Todd have started negotiations for an alliance, but John has a hard time with the one condition Todd is demanding from him in return for his own cooperativeness and willingness to agree to John's terms...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is merely an introduction and start, John will come on board Todd's Hive in the next chapter.

“This condition is not negotiable. If you really wish to make this alliance work, then you'll have to agree to my terms.”

The tall Wraith leaned back in his seat with his hands resting on the shiny table top, his posture appearing relaxed and nonchalant to someone who didn't know him as well as John had come to know this special Wraith over the past three years. He could see the tension in Todd's back and the square of his shoulders, in the tight set of his jaw that was tugging at the sensor pits beside his nose and make them flare a little bit more than usual. In the way the long clawed fingers - accentuated by his finger-less black gloves – flexed and curled on the desk top ever so slightly.

The impressive Commander had come to Atlantis together with his third-in-command, the latter clad in the same leather-like black Wraith-skin as his superior and not less intimidating in his entire appearance and demeanor. But his delicate alien features didn't bear the same sharp edges yet that ten millennia had carved into the face of the one Wraith who'd become both John's fate and his nemesis ever since their paths had crossed deep down in the belly of Kolya's dark bunker for the very first time. The younger Wraith wore an emotionless mask ever since he'd stepped out of the Wraith cruiser right behind his superior, not even a single muscle twitching in his face throughout the long and tiring meetings with the New Lanteans, and John really had to admire his composure. The colonel with the messy dark hair and the hazel-green eyes tore his gaze away from Todd's hands to appraise his officer with a quick sidelong glance instead, wondering whether or not he was mentally connected with his Commander and therefore managed to keep his calm much better than Ronon Dex and Rodney McKay had been able to do since the previous day when the negotiations had started.

Sheppard actually doubted that somehow – as Todd was for sure the most private and reserved Wraith he'd ever met. He'd never appeared as someone who was willing to share his true thoughts and feelings with others easily to John – whether they were Wraith or humans – and the colonel thought that this was at least something they both shared, the common ground their complicated hate-respect-forced-by-circumstances-alliance was based upon since their first encounter. Todd's unwillingness to really open up might also be the reason why his former second had betrayed him and stolen the Super Hive to attack Earth in order to gain new rich feeding grounds, otherwise Todd might have come to know about the mutiny much earlier and things would certainly have turned out to be much different from how they actually were.

Because all in all this mutiny had led to all the various events which had taken place over the last months, and finally to the former mentioned alliance John and Richard Woolsey were trying to negotiate with Todd and the Hives that were still loyal to him at the moment. Several weeks had passed since Atlantis' return to Pegasus, and John hadn't really thought that he would see the infuriating Wraith so soon again because their last goodbye when Todd had stepped through the wormhole after Atlantis' landing on her last home planet in Pegasus had been short, terse and filled with a lot of bottled-up tension neither of them wanted to acknowledge.

John couldn't really blame him, the way Todd had been treated during his second stay on Earth – by the IOA and the Stargate Command as much as by John himself – was something the colonel didn't really care to dwell in or remember too closely.

Of course he should have known better though and expect Todd to just walk through the wormhole again one day without any warning, but he hadn't, truly believing that Todd had reached the end of the line and eventually enough of the humans who continued to give him so much trouble.

John had tried to forget their last talk and thrown himself into the task of renewing their alliances with the planets they'd come to an agreement with over the years, busying himself with establishing a new daily routine and go on enough off-world missions to just fall into his bed and sleep like a log afterwards, avoiding the thought of an alien male face with grayish skin and a star-like tattoo around its left eye like the plague.

Not very successfully as the memory of Todd's expression when he'd sat in one of the prison cells deep down in the Cheyenne Mountain complex, his hands tied behind his back and dressed in that ridiculous gray jumpsuit John had forced upon him, haunted him in his dreams on a regular basis, all those unspoken things and betrayed feelings standing between them shining through the layer of carefully set up calm and self-control in Todd's strange but beautiful golden cat's eyes.

And now Todd had come back to offer talks about an alliance between his Hives and Atlantis, an alliance neither of them could actually afford to decline regarding the current situation in the Pegasus Galaxy. John didn't know how Todd had managed to lure five new Hives under his command after his return and so quickly, but he seemed to possess the astonishing capability of a cat that had nine lives and would always land on its four paws, no matter how deep the fall.

However he'd actually achieved to double the number of his Hives, John didn't really want to know, but he couldn't ignore the advantage an alliance with ten Hives would give them, the many possibilities that would occur out of such an agreement and secure their own position and standing in Pegasus.

The simple truth was that Atlantis needed Todd's ten Hives as a buffer between herself and the other hostile Hives that were roaming the Pegasus Galaxy in the search for enough food to keep their crews alive, no matter how much John hated the thought of being so dependent on the Wraith who must have felt like a laboratory rat the last time he'd 'enjoyed' Earth's hospitality. If John only knew what Todd was really up to with his demand – then he would actually be much more willing to give it some further thought, but as things stood he had to consider the possibility that Todd simply wanted to pay him back for what John had allowed to happen to him and get his hands on him for whatever kind of revenge he wanted to take for all the humiliation and pain he'd suffered during those horrible weeks on Earth.

Todd's demand wasn't even an unreasonable or outrageous one. It was the second day of their negotiations, and the Wraith had shown an astonishing amount of cooperativeness and agreed to most of Richard and John's conditions. His Wraith were permitted to visit Atlantis even without Todd, but they would be guarded by at least three Marines for the start, and they were not to bring any of their weapons with them, not under any circumstances. If they had to stay overnight, they would be granted special quarters instead of having to stay in the brig, but there would be guards before their quarters as well. Not more than two Hives circling in an orbit over Atlantis at the same time, and Todd's scientists had to work on a solution for the feeding problem and send the results of their research to Dr. Beckett and Dr. Keller every other week and to cooperate with them in every possible way.

The list of John's conditions was long, and even Richard Woolsey had started to give him an irritated frown now and then over the last hours. “You're not making things any easier this way, Colonel,” he'd told him yesterday when Todd and his third-in-command had withdrawn on board their cruiser for the night, “one could actually get the impression that you're trying to test their patience and stop this alliance before it has even had the slightest chance to start. Every time they agreed to your last condition, you'll come up with a new one even I didn't know about.”

“Just wanna make sure that Atlantis is safe.” John had insisted in stubborn self-defense and with a shrug of his shoulders, but last night Todd had haunted him in his sleep again, the reproach in his glittering golden eyes and his hoarsely whispered, _“you betrayed me, John Shepparrrd!”,_ making his heart clench painfully even in his sleep.

John's gaze wandered back to the Wraith sitting next to Todd again, and the alien male returned his glance this time, his face still emotionless, but there was something in his eyes that made the colonel feel uncomfortable, just as if the younger Wraith knew something John should actually know too, but didn't.

“Besides, it would only be fair, wouldn't it? You expect us to be ready for battle whenever you're in the mood to call for us, to spend a considerable amount of time in Atlantis – and this without any weapons and with a tail of guards following us everywhere – but you're not willing to honor our willingness to cooperate by coming on board our Hives in return? It would definitely help you gain some more important insight about us and our way of life, and it would also enable you to see for yourself that we're not going to deceive and betray you, Sheppard,” Todd now continued to get his point across, and Ronon sitting beside John roared in red fury and jumped to his feet, but John grabbed his arm and pulled him back down onto his chair with a warning snarl of his own. Todd's officer looked at Ronon with the curiosity of a scientist that was regarding the exhibit of a rare specimen, but Todd had narrowed his eyes in obvious annoyance, and John realized that he was close to losing his patience for good this time and just storming out of the room to never come back again.

“You can't really blame me, Todd, can you?” he replied with a nonchalant shrug and a crooked smile to save what was left to be saved of Todd's good will, “it's not that I have ever been treated like a welcome and honored guest on board one of your spooky ships so far.”

Todd bared his teeth and cocked his head to the side, ignoring Ronon's next warning hiss when he leaned over the table to look John straight into the eyes. “You mean opposite to all the times you've treated me like a 'cherished and honored guest' when I came to Atlantis or even Earth to help you - just to find myself behind bars and with my hands tied together again, don't you? We Wraith at least never forced you to undress in front of your guards and make you wear a gray sack, and I still have to draw level with you when it comes to all those times you've threatened to kill me when I'd just so much as only think of moving my little finger, right? You might wish to actually think a little bit more carefully about your words and your behavior toward me in the future if you want us to work together, Colonel.”

John gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. Starting another argument wouldn't get them anywhere, and damn it, but they couldn't risk Todd giving up on these negotiations, just because John had problems with the only condition the Wraith had brought up so far. Apart from Todd's explanation actually being reasonable and logical, his own refusal made him look like a coward somehow, and John really didn't want to be called that.

“I'm not coming unarmed,” he finally said, “as I'm physically weaker than you are, I'll bring as many weapons with me as I like.”

Todd didn't honor his remark with an answer, but he inclined his head in acceptance, and John drew in another deep breath.

“Okay, I'll do it.”

“I'll come with him!” Ronon beside him snarled, but Todd shook his head. “No, you won't, Ronon Dex. John Sheppard will come alone and spend three weeks on board my Hive together with me and my crew, or I will leave now and our alliance is off the table for once and all.”

Richard Woolsey didn't look all too happy about having to go without his military leader for three weeks, but he rose to his feet and nodded his head to show his consent and his willingness to build a functioning alliance between them. “Are we allowed to contact him if the need should arise?” was all he asked, and the tall Wraith looked at him with real surprise on his features.

“This is the whole point of a strong alliance after all, isn't it? Apart from that, John Sheppard will be my honored guest, not my prisoner, of course he can talk to you whenever he wishes to do so. Major Lorne is a very capable XO as I know from experience, but I would never expect Colonel Sheppard to neglect his duties and leave his men without any support, so a daily report between Atlantis and my flagship would surely be wise and appreciated.”

“You're too generous,” John murmured under his breath, cursing silently when both Wraith fixated him with an irritated look. Wraith and their damn heightened senses, he would have to be very careful not to think too 'loud' when he was trapped on board Todd's Hive for those three weeks – which seemed more like a little eternity to him at this point.

“We do have an agreement then, don't we?” Woolsey asked, and the relieved undertone in his voice that he wasn't the one who'd have to spend three weeks on board Todd's flagship wasn't lost on John. The dark-haired colonel couldn't blame Atlantis' civilian leader though, not after Woolsey's experiences with Todd on board the _Daedalus_ when the Pegasus Asgard had activated the Attero Device and Todd had become truly pissed off because he'd thought that John had betrayed him.

Todd slowly rose to his full height now as well, baring his teeth at Richard in the Wraith equivalent of a smile. It looked pretty predatory, even without the razor-sharp teeth showing themselves in full glory, and Woolsey's Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed nervously.

“You're very welcome to join the colonel, Mr. Woolsey,” the tall Wraith Commander almost purred, apparently enjoying the older man's obvious discomfort pretty much. “My crew would be delighted to immerse themselves in meaningful discussions about your favorite hobbies with you – your beloved operas for example. There is no better way to get to know each other better, is it? So if you'll ever feel the urge to gift us with your truly inspiring presence for some time, please let me know, and I'll make sure to arrange something extraordinary for you – something you'll surely remember for a very long time.”

Woolsey paled visibly, and his own polite smile looked more like the grimace of someone who'd taken too many rides on a carousel and was struggling with keeping the contents of his stomach where they belonged, but John had to give him credit for his self-control, because the member of the IOA just tilted his head in a pained gesture of feigned excitement and said:

“I'll certainly take you up on your most generous offer, High Commander. After Colonel Sheppard's safe return to Atlantis and when things have settled again.”

“I shall remember that, Mr. Woolsey,” Todd agreed with another one of his wolfish grins, shifting his attention back to John then.

“You won't need much for your stay, John Sheppard. Just a few clothes and your weapons of course. Not that you'll feel... _naked_ when you're taking a stroll through my ship. I'll await you on board my cruiser in an hour, that should be enough time for you to pack your bag and talk to Major Lorne. He's been in Atlantis for long enough to know what he has to do while you're enjoying our... _generous_ hospitality.”

“I'll be there,” John ground out, asking himself whether or not he'd just agreed to digging his own grave as he watched the two Wraith leave the conference room and anxiety about the forthcoming weeks pooling in his stomach.

Todd had once said that there was a lot he didn't know about Wraith, but John was damn sure that he would find out about the missing pieces soon enough – whether he might like them or not, that was the real question here, a question John wasn't really sure he wanted to know the answer of it.


	2. Ready for take-off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has packed his things and is preparing for take-off with Todd's cruiser and fly to his Hive for the three weeks he's supposed to spend there...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy that you liked the first chapter so much, I'm still totally blown by the amazing feedback it has gotten, I really didn't expect that! :-)  
> I hope you're all safe and sound, my dear readers, and that you'll enjoy the new chapter as just as much. I'd love to read your thoughts, so please keep your wonderful support up, there's no bigger motivation than your encouragement to continue! <33

“I'll be coming with you.”

Rodney McKay was doing his best to give his voice a firm tone and look grim and determined about what he'd just said, but John could hear the high pitch of fear underlying the scientist's words, and he actually couldn't really blame him. They had both gathered their fare share of painful and nightmarish experiences when it came to being trapped on board Wraith Hives, and John would undoubtedly feel like a prisoner over the next three weeks, regardless of how many times Todd would call him his 'honored' guest. There was no way that he'd let Todd get his hands on any of his friends just like that, and he really couldn't afford to worry about Rodney when he was already busied with making it through the next weeks without any serious incident himself.

“No, you won't, McKay. Todd was very clear about me coming alone.” he therefore objected, but he hadn't taken Rodney's stubbornness into account, and the way McKay always acted like a pit bull that was defending its bone when he'd put his mind to something he didn't want to let go of anymore.

“That was just for Ronon. He invited Woolsey to join you after all!” the genius with the blue eyes countered right away, and John suppressed a sigh. He was busied with throwing clothes into his bag and putting – much more carefully – the locked weapons he wanted to take with him onto his bed next to the bag.

“Woolsey is the civilian leader of Atlantis, maybe it was because of that,” he shrugged with his back to McKay, earning himself an offended snort in return.

“I'm Atlantis' head scientist, so technically I'm of the same rank as him.”

“Technically you're belonging to Richard's staff and have to report to him, so you're not of the same rank, head scientist or not.” John said, his eyes falling onto the book on his nightstand by accident – the book he hadn't managed to finish reading for more than five years now. Without thinking he threw it into his bag as well. Maybe Todd would grant him enough light in his gloomy prison cell or cocoon for reading. This way he could kill some time at least until the three weeks would be over.

“I'd be of much greater value to Todd than Woolsey,” Rodney insisted, and John wasn't sure whether the slight trembling he could hear in his friend's voice now came from McKay feeling insulted that he hadn't been invited along with Richard Woolsey or rather from his fear that Todd could actually do that and expect him to spend three weeks on his Hive among hundreds of hungry Wraith.

“Maybe it's because Wraith appreciate music more than we knew so far – Todd mentioned Richard's love for operas after all.” he said to console his friend, but his attempt was futile and only fueled McKay's rightful indignation even more.

“You do know that I wanted to be a famous pianist first – before I became the famous physicist I am now. I could teach them the finery of music much better than Woolsey!”

“Emphasis on _'famous',_ ” John murmured to himself with a small sigh, bending over his bag to pull at the zipper.

“What did you say?” John could feel Rodney's eyes on his back, and he craned his neck to smile at the scientist who'd saved their asses so many times. “Nothing, McKay. Maybe it's because Richard is less talkative than you usually are. You know these guys – they don't like it when someone's talking too much.”

Rodney lifted his chin up. “Are you serious? Are we both talking about the same Mr. Woolsey? The one who is known for his love for very long speeches? By the way, I do know when I have to keep my mouth shut, didn't I prove that to you today during the negotiations?”

John's smile was genuine and truly fond. “Yes, you did. I was surprised as I must admit. But really Rodney, I'd rather have you here in Atlantis while I'm gone. I'll sleep much better knowing that you are safe and able to protect Atlantis and our team in the not so unlikely case that Todd is playing his own special game again and cheating on us.”

Rodney looked both flattered and touched, but he drew his brows together to an irritated frown.

“I'd agree with you about Wraith in general, John, but honestly, Todd hasn't tried anything like that in a long time. He wouldn't have needed to contact us and warn us about the Super Hive – even come with us to Earth, and the way the IOA and Stargate Command treated him... No, I do believe that he's being honest with us. It's understandable that he wants us to come to his Hive as we're expecting them to spend a considerable time in Atlantis after all, isn't it?” Rodney looked at him, and his team leader didn't really know what to answer to that, taken by surprise because he hadn't thought that Rodney of all people would side with their future allies like that.

John might not have expected McKay to step in for the infuriating Wraith, but he had to admit that Rodney might be right here, and apart from that the other man had always admired and respected Todd as the scientist he was and worked together with him, so maybe he had some insight which John as the soldier he was couldn't have.

“I hope so, Rodney, I really do,” was all he said, briefly patting McKay's shoulder on his way out. He'd already talked to Major Lorne, and his XO had said something similar as Rodney about Todd to him. Was he really the only one fearing that the negotiations had simply been a trap, set up by the Wraith Commander to lure John on board his Hive so he could take revenge on him? Why did Rodney, Richard and even Lorne were willing to trust the alien male while John feared to do the same and see Todd as an ally and not just as his nemesis?

The next three weeks would show whether he was right or rather his friends, and John could only hope that it wouldn't be too late for all of them if John's fears about a trap turned out to be grounded and right.

The dark-haired colonel grabbed his weapons tighter as he walked through Atlantis' corridors with Rodney in tow, hoping that he hadn't just signed his own death sentence when he'd agreed to Todd's demand.

*~*~*

“You're punctual, John Sheppard.”

Todd looked pleased at that when John entered the bridge of the Wraith cruiser with the two Wraith drones trailing after him that had guarded the main bulkhead of the space ship. John had halfway expected them to shoot him with their stunners right away, or at least tie his hands behind his back or something like that, but the Wraith drones with the masks had just stepped aside to let him pass and followed him with their usual unnerving silence when he'd stridden through the gloomy tunnels with his head held up high and his bag swinging at his side.

He still didn't know if they were actually able to speak, and the memory of their unfinished faces was still giving him nightmares now and then.

Todd was standing behind the biggest console in the center of the bridge, two younger officers John didn't know busying themselves with something on the consoles in the background. The officer who'd accompanied Todd to the negotiations occupied the space next to his superior, and John felt strangely relieved when the Wraith with the alien and yet delicate male features looked at him with an expression that could only be called friendly – for Wraith standards of course.

“Yeah, not that you're leaving without me, Todd. Can hardly wait for my 'vacations' to begin.” John knew that he was behaving childish and that it wasn't a clever thing to do to anger his hosts right at the beginning of the three weeks, but he was still angry about Todd's extortion, and being snappy or making stupid jokes had always been his way of getting over his fear or nervousness and appear nonchalant and unaffected.

“Is that so, Sheppard?” One of Todd's hairless brow-ridges traveled upwards in curiosity, but he didn't make any attempt to hide the mockery from his voice.

“Sure thing. Can't be worse than the summer weeks I had to spend on our estate when school was closed and my father couldn't 'park' me with some other relatives.” He didn't really know why he was telling him that, as his childhood really wasn't any of Todd's business, nor would he ever understand what John had been going through as the son of Patrick Sheppard.

The tall Wraith regarded John quietly for a moment, his face emotionless now. Then, he beckoned him to come over to him with a gesture of his glove-covered left hand.

“Do you want to fly the cruiser back to my flagship?” he offered, and John blinked. He should finally stop letting himself be surprised by Todd's moves, but old habits died hard, and he really had expected to be marched to the Wraith brig right after his arrival.

“Are you not afraid that I'm going to damage your precious ship?” he wanted to know as he cautiously walked over to where Todd and his third-in-command were waiting for him, ignoring the soft flutter of anticipation that was suddenly pooling in his stomach.

“No, I am not. You might not like me or want to spend time with me on board my Hive, but you're not a fool, Sheppard. You would never risk endangering Atlantis and your people - or yourself – without any necessity, and you love everything that is able to fly, including Wraith ships of any sort and kind. You have already proven your capability of flying Darts and even Hives, so why should it be any different with a cruiser? Besides, I'm right here behind you to help you in case you'll require help.”

Todd had a point here, and he knew how to get John's cooperation, that was clear. “Alright, if you're willing to trust me with your ship just like that...” the colonel drawled, his hazel-green eyes sparkling when he flexed his fingers right above the controls. The prospect of being allowed to fly the cruiser even made up for the damn Wraith standing so close to him that John could feel his breath ghosting over his exposed neck when Todd leaned over his shoulder to surveil his actions. Their closeness made him feel nervous in a way that didn't have anything to do with the fear that the ancient being could try to feed on him the very next moment, more with Todd's mere presence overwhelming him and arousing feelings in him John couldn't allow himself to have.

“Has Atlantis already given you clearance for take-off?” he asked, and the Wraith inclined his head to catch sight of John's face. “We were just waiting for your arrival. I thought that you'd maybe want to do that yourself and tell them goodbye once more.”

“How thoughtful of you.” John deadpanned, and Todd's translucent teeth shimmered in the violet-greenish gloom when he said:

“I'm glad that you appreciate my consideration, John Sheppard.”

The Wraith pressed a button on the console, and the organic wall in front of them changed to a screen, Richard Woolsey's face appearing on it a second later. Major Lorne, Rodney, Ronon and Teyla were standing beside him, and John felt a lump in his throat all of a sudden, his heart clenching with a bout of homesickness, and this even though he had seen them in person less than just an hour ago.

“Hi there,” he said, his voice husky, and he cleared his throat and swallowed. “We're ready for take-off.”

Woolsey tried his best to put on a brave and cheerful face, Teyla was her usual calm self, but Ronon looked as if he was ready to kill someone, preferably Todd or perhaps even John himself. Rodney looked concerned and still offended that Todd hadn't included him in his invitation, so everything was just as usual. These three weeks would be over in no time, and then John would return to his team and forget about Todd and every damn Wraith in this galaxy.

“You have clearance for take-off, cruiser,” Woolsey said, looking lost, and John inhaled a deep breath.

“Acknowledged, Atlantis.” John paused, then cleared his throat once more. “See you in three weeks, my friends. Don't get into trouble without me.”

“We won't, John. Enjoy yourself,” Richard gave back, and the screen went dark and became the dark and slightly pulsing wall again John had come to hate so much.

“They'll be fine, John Sheppard. My Hives will stay in orbit and protect Atlantis. Together with the new ZPM there shouldn't be any problems until your return.” Todd's voice had lost any mockery, and John nodded his head and pressed his lips to a thin line.

“Yeah, I know. Okay, let's get this baby started. I remember some of the controls, I think,” the colonel said to distract himself from his misery and his homesickness, and Todd luckily didn't tease him but pointed at the console with his long fingers instead to help him refreshing his memory.

“These are the controls for the sub-light drive, and these are those for the thrusters,” the tall Wraith explained in his multi-toned voice, and the tiny hairs at the nape of his neck rose, sending a soft shudder through his body. John had already known that, but he listened anyway, swallowing and lowering his hands down onto the console as he pushed any disturbing thought aside and focused on starting the cruiser and bringing the ship into the air.

Todd's officer was watching them calmly, apparently perfectly fine with John flying their ship. His trust in his Commander must be pretty high, because he looked at ease and totally unfazed when John darted him a quick glance.

“Okay, lemme try,” he said turning his gaze back to the console, “the sooner we'll reach your Hive, the sooner I'll be back in Atlantis again.”

His statement seemed more to amuse Todd than to anger him, pulling a dry chuckle from the Wraith who haunted John in his dreams far too often. He decided to ignore Todd's reaction though, starting the thrusters to get the ship into the air.

The cruiser buckled a bit when it lost contact with the surface of Atlantis' landing pier, and the rush of excitement John always felt when he got his hands on a new ship he hadn't flown before made his cheeks flush and his breath quicken. Wraith ships were usually flown with the help of a mental link between the partly sentient vessel and its queen or commander, and John was pretty sure that Todd was in contact with the cruiser and controlling John's action through his link to avoid serious problems, but it was an exciting experience nonetheless, and he almost forgot his anger about the forthcoming three weeks when the steady vibrations under his feet proved to him that they were indeed climbing upwards into the deep-blue vastness of the sky over Atlantis.

“Can you make it visible?” he asked Todd, “The sight of Atlantis from above is always so beautiful.”

“Yes, of course, John.” Todd sounded almost gentle now, and the wall became transparent to grant John the view he craved so much. Atlantis' towers sparkled and shimmered in the sunlight, the deep blue of the calm ocean accentuating her dark silver color perfectly. He stared at the screen with stinging eyes, and as strange as it was, but Todd's presence actually consoled him, and for the first time since their fateful fight against the Super Hive John began to understand how the Wraith must have felt when he'd been trapped on Earth and at the complete mercy of his human captors.

How Todd must have felt during the agonizing ten years in Kolya's bunker, ten years that must have felt longer than the ten thousand years Todd had already lived before his captivity. John thought that he understood Todd's words about seeing the moon and the stars again after their escape much better now, but he wasn't ready to admit that yet, and he frowned at himself and straightened his shoulders and forced his attention back to their short flight again. He could feel Todd's golden eyes on his back, but he ignored the Wraith as best as he could, not willing to admit the mistakes he might have made when it came to how he'd treated Todd over the past years, at least not now.

Their flight to Todd's Hive was short, and he docked the cruiser together with his help, glad that he could show the respect he was feeling for the skilled pilot Todd actually was. “That wasn't so bad for the first time, was it?” he asked when he took his bag and his guns to follow the tall Wraith and his third-in-command to the air lock.

“There was never any doubt that you could fly any Wraith ship, John Sheppard,” Todd agreed, his long coat swinging around his legs as he walked with the confidence of someone who was perfectly in control of everything and totally sure of the loyalty of his crew. When had things changed for Todd? After his release from Kolya's prison he'd never had this aura of self-confidence like he had now. He'd done his best to appear like being in control and being in command of his Hives, but John had sensed the uncertainty that Todd hadn't been able to shake off after being cut off from his own kind for so long nevertheless.

Now this uncertainty was gone, and Todd oozed power out of every single pore, and John had a hard time deciding which Todd he hated more: the Todd he'd once known and who'd been rather easy to talk into the things John wanted him to do – or the new Todd who actually didn't really need John and his help any longer. He had ten Hives under his control now, he didn't need John and Atlantis to keep other hostile Wraith at arm's length.

So the same question arose again, the question why Todd was so insistent that John spent three weeks on board his Hive. Was it really because he wanted an alliance with Atlantis and John – or did he just want to separate John from his friends and his team to finally take revenge on him for all the terrible things the humans had done to him – from the Ancients over Kolya to the IOA, Stargate Command and finally John himself.

The dark-haired colonel was sure that he would find out the answer to this question sooner rather than later, and he'd better prepare himself for the worst, however this 'worst' would turn out to be in the end.


	3. On board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's first half an hour on board Todd's Hive already offers some unexpected revelations and leads to another quarrel with his host for the next three weeks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much again for your amazing feedback, I really appreciate it so very much! As there is a holiday today I could write the next chapter sooner than I'd thought, I hope that you'll continue to like and enjoy this story!! <33

John followed Todd and his officer to the bridge of the flagship, thinking that he would soon have to deal with a terrible neck pain from holding his head up so high in order to hide his true feelings the whole time.

The huge Hive was much more crowded than he remembered it from any other Hive he'd ever been on board, and he directed his eyes on Todd's black-clad back and kept them there firmly in place to avoid having to look at the drones and other Wraith crossing their way as they were walking through several dark hallways. The other Wraith all bowed their heads before their Commander silently, and John couldn't hide his flinch when the not-drone-like Wraith and officers walked passed him with a terse but surprisingly respectful “Colonel Sheppard!” in some sort of a greeting or welcome.

“Nice to meet you, so pleased to meet you!” he retorted mockingly to those who spoke to him, his mouth hurting from the forced crooked grin that felt all wrong, and he heaved a relieved sigh when they finally entered the misty bridge, and Todd walked over to the largest console in the center to operate the controls. Another one of those weird temporary screens appeared over their heads, and John watched Woolsey's face become visible on it after a moment or two, looking a bit startled at the unexpected second call from their new Wraith allies.

“Todd... uhm, Commander, I didn't expect any other call from you so soon,” Atlantis' civilian leader murmured irritatedly, and Todd inclined his head in this special and unique way John had come to know so well over the past years.

“It's always such a pleasure to do conversation with you, Richard, that I'm truly grateful for each opportunity to do so,” Todd gave back nonchalantly and with glittering golden eyes. “You're definitely one of the most intelligent, skilled and educated human conversation partners I've ever had the fortune to talk to, and considering how many humans I've encountered over the millennia, including the Ancients, this means something, doesn't it? One of the most intelligent and educated humans next to Colonel Sheppard, of course,” the damn Wraith added with a quick and pointed sidelong glance at John and after a short meaningful pause.

“But where the colonel is usually not bothering to waste his precious time with pleasantries and niceties to establish a nice atmosphere - but will rather go straight to the point and not hesitate to throw his demands and threats at me - you are always so subtle and diplomatic, always striving to reach an understanding and find common ground for both parties sitting on opposite sides of the table. The two of you are indeed a remarkable and unbeatable duo when you join your forces, that's for sure.”

Richard looked truly pleased and flattered at the praise of the cunning Wraith who wasn't any less skilled when it came to conversations and 'pleasantries' as it would seem, but before he or John could react to Todd's words another voice sounded up from somewhere beside Atlantis' civilian leader.

“What? How can you say that?! What about me? I'm for sure one of the most intelligent 'humans' in two galaxies you've ever met, Todd! I feel hurt that you'd forget about putting me into your list as well!” McKay's head appeared next to Woolsey, who frowned and darted him an irritated look. John groaned, but Todd only bared his teeth in amusement and cocked his head to the side once more.

“You're definitely one of the most... astonishing and hmm... straining humans I've ever met, Dr. McKay. But your agile mind does have its merits, I'll have to give you that. The big difference between Mr. Woolsey, Colonel Sheppard and you is that they do not feel the same need to show off their intelligence and capabilities all of the time like you're doing that. I've even gotten the impression that the colonel is actually quite happy to come across much less skilled and intelligent than he really is to deceive his... conversation partners and use their ignorance and false conclusions about his capabilities to his own advantage and Atlantis' benefit, so this is something the two of you clearly don't share. He also knows much better how and when to keep quiet than you'll ever do, Dr. McKay, a very sublime virtue Wraith actually appreciate greatly.”

McKay's eyes went so big that they threatened to pop out of his head, and he opened and closed his mouth without managing more than an offended “hrrumpf!” The blue-eyed scientist swallowed, and the real hurt he was feeling about Todd's admittedly pretty accurate summary of his character was showing on his face. John was just about to step in when he saw Todd's alien features softening, the smile he was gifting the genius with genuine and apologetic.

“But I'm really looking forward to working together with you on a regular basis in the future, Dr. McKay. Your oftentimes rare view on things is enlightening and refreshing, and your sparkling presence is truly inspiring. Our scientific banters are something I've come to appreciate and enjoy over the course of time, but for now I want to ask you to keep good care of the city until Colonel Sheppard's return. You and Mr. Woolsey of course. I know our new allies in the best hands by the two of you, and Major Lorne has proven himself to be a very capable and worthy military leader of Atlantis during John's absence several times already, so I'll leave you in the knowledge that the city of the Ancients will still be there, unharmed and fully intact when we'll come back here in three weeks from now on.”

“Leave, return? What's that supposed to mean?” John interrupted the tall Wraith Commander rather rudely, “you never said anything about leaving the orbit and taking me on a ride for those three weeks during our negotiations!”

Todd looked down at him with an expression that was a strange mixture of annoyance, amusement and resigned patience. “I never said anything about not leaving Atlantis as long as you're on board my flagship either, Sheppard. That was just your own assumption, or rather wishful thinking – depending on how one looks at it. Where would be the point in circling over Atlantis for three weeks and giving you lots of opportunities to break your part of our bargain and return to the city before the time you promised to stay on board is over? Apart from that, where would be the benefit in just staying here? You're supposed to learn more about us, and this won't happen if I'll just stay in orbit of this planet for so long. I must admit that I'm surprised about your reaction, John, I'd thought that you'd anticipate something like that as you're usually so eager to allege only the worst when it comes to my race in general and me in special.”

“I wouldn't have agreed if I'd known that,” John ground out through gritted teeth, but Todd only shrugged his shoulders. It was clear that he was finally tired of John's antics and always making compromises or agreeing to his every demand while the colonel never did the same, and John felt a sudden spike of fear at Todd's next words, spoken evenly but with a finality he'd never displayed whenever they'd dealt with each other so far.

“Then I shall have you be brought back to Atlantis now, and we'll go separate ways in the future then, Sheppard. It's your choice, but decide quickly what you really want.”

John gaped at him with his mouth hanging open, and he could feel Woolsey and McKay staring holes into his own face that was burning now, and he wasn't sure whether it was more from anger or rather from his embarrassment and shock.

“John?” Woolsey's questioning voice cut through the haze clouding his mind, and he drew in a deep breath and snapped his mouth shut. “I'll stay,” he gritted out, and Todd nodded in acknowledgment.

“Very well, then. Two of my allied Hives will stay in orbit over Atlantis for your protection from other Wraith, Richard, and my sub commanders will report to you on a daily pattern to inform you about the movements of other Hives as our long-range sensors are able to detect them sooner than you can do that. I'll stay within communication range during our absence, and Colonel Sheppard will contact you every twenty-four hours to assure you that he's alive and healthy. If you need to contact him on your own you can do that via my Hives in your orbit, you'll have the full cooperation of my sub commanders and crews. Is there anything else you wish to know before we'll leave?”

Woolsey shook his head, his gaze flickering back to John for a moment, and the colonel got the impression that the man he'd come to really appreciate and consider a friend since he'd taken over command in Atlantis was silently asking him to cooperate and not screw things up.

“No, thank you, Commander. I trust you to take good care of Colonel Sheppard and return him to us safely and in one piece.” Richard said when he returned his focus back to the tall Wraith, and Todd tilted his head in agreement and respect.

“I will, Richard. Colonel Sheppard's life is as precious and invaluable to me as my own. I think I've already proven that to you in the past more than just once.”

“You have indeed, Commander. Safe journey, John.” Richard smiled at John, and the screen went dark, leaving Sheppard behind in confusion and with a slight queasiness pooling in his stomach.

“You're really pulling that through, aren't you? Leaving Atlantis and forcing me to stay three weeks on board your spooky Hive.”

“I think I was pretty clear about my intentions right from the start, Sheppard,” Todd retorted, not bothering to look at him as he busied himself with their imminent departure and getting the sub-light drive to work. “Which part of 'you spending three weeks on board my Hive' did you not understand when I set up my condition for this alliance earlier today? Besides, since when are you afraid of 'spooky' and ghosts anyway? I've actually never taken you for someone getting scared so easily.”

“ I am not, and the one part where you 'forgot' to mention that you wouldn't stay near Atlantis, I guess.” John murmured, but without much emphasis.

“You're a clever man, John Sheppard, you could have known that - if you hadn't been too busied with coming up with the best ways to deceive me and return to Atlantis before your scheduled departure from my Hive, of course. I suggest that you'll try and get some rest, it's been a long and tiring day for you with your human physique. My third-in-command will show you to your quarters. Let me know when you're done with pouting and feeling sorry for yourself, so I'll be sure to have your full attention for the interesting things I want you to learn about us within the next three weeks.”

“There's no need for you to remind me that I'm human, Todd,” John sneered, “I'm sure that your crew will be all too happy to do that when they'll be sneaking up on me behind your back to feed on me.”

“None of my crew will feed on you. Now stop behaving like a sulking child and get some rest.”

“I really hate you sometimes, do you know that?” John growled, feeling angry and irritated that Todd just wouldn't look at him, but simply resume what he was doing and focus on the controls in front of him, his entire posture relaxed and full of self-confidence.

They were in Todd's natural environment now, on board his Hive with his devoted crew serving his every single thought before it even came into his mind so eagerly, and for the first time when dealing with the tall Wraith John was not the one in control and setting up the rules, but for once at Todd's complete mercy. Todd didn't need to try and please him, he could just order him around like one of his officers or drones, and John hated it. But there was not much he could do about it, and his shoulders slumped in defeat and exhaustion.

“Tell me something new that I don't already know, Sheppard,” was all Todd said to him in return before he just went back to bringing his ship on its set up course, and a motion on his other side made the dark-haired colonel look at Todd's third officer.

“Please come with me, Colonel Sheppard. I'll show you the way to your quarters.” the younger Wraith asked him politely, and John threw a rather reproachful look at Todd's broad black shoulders before he took his bag with a sigh. “Didn't know that Wraith actually know the word 'please', let alone how to use it while they're talking to their food,” he murmured to himself, flinching when Todd's harsh voice kept his feet glued to the slightly pulsing floor of the ship.

“ _Please_ refrain from insulting my crew, especially my senior officers, John Sheppard. They don't take part in our personal fight, and my third-in-command didn't do anything to deserve your offending behavior towards him. If you must insult someone in order to feel less agitated and insecure, then take your anger out on me and not them – as I know how to deal with your need to provoke your conversation partners when you're fearing to lose ground and control over the situation. I can assure you that you're not 'food' to any of my crew. You're my honored and welcome guest, and they will all treat you as such.”

“Yeah, of course. A _honored guest_ who didn't have any chance to decline your oh so 'generous' offer because you blackmailed me with calling this alliance off in case I'd merely think of trying to do so. But don't worry, I actually agree with you that your crew is not responsible for this mess, so I'll be nice to them for as long as they'll be nice to me,” John snorted, but he did feel a bad conscience and embarrassed that he'd been told off like a defiant child in front of Todd's officers, and he knew that Todd was right and had hit a sore spot. He did have a habit of acting like that whenever he felt like not being in control of the situation, and he was reasonable enough to realize that trying to pick up a fight with everyone on board here would not help matters and just make his stay even more awful that it was going to be anyway over the next three weeks.

“I'm relieved to hear that you can be reasonable if you want to, Sheppard. Now please go with my officer, you'll feel better when you have rested and eaten properly.” Todd left the console to go over to another one, and John knew when he was dismissed.

Todd's officer was still waiting patiently when John turned around to face him, gesturing to one of the gloomy tunnels that led from the bridge deeper into the belly of the space ship, which looked like a giant whale from outer space. His expression was calm and unfazed, and John would have given a lot to know what he was thinking.

“This way, please, Colonel Sheppard.” the Wraith with the handsome and delicate features said, and John had to give him credit for making his order sound rather like a request, and this without giving the word 'please' any mocking sound and meaning, but staying all polite and focused on his task.

John opened his mouth for another snarky remark out of old habit, but opted for a simple, “thank you,” instead, following Todd's officer to the other side of the bridge after one last look at the Wraith who was giving him such a headache. Todd ignored him though, his fingers flying over the controls, and only the tension in his back indicated that he was aware of John's silent glare.

The dark-haired colonel had actually thought that he'd seen most of the interesting parts of Wraith Hives, and he couldn't remember any rooms resembling personal quarters at all, none except for the throne hall perhaps, so he was surprised when the wall in front of them suddenly gave way to some kind of transporter. To him it had just looked like a solid wall – as solid as the organic walls of Hives could be, that is – and he realized that there was indeed more about Wraith than he'd known so far, at least more about their Hives than he'd known.

“So Wraith have 'quarters', huh? That's something new.”

Todd's officer gazed at him with the same resigned patience as a teacher would do when explaining the mysteries of the multiplication table to the most stupid student they'd ever had for the umpteenth time.

“Of course we do, Colonel Sheppard. The hibernation pods are only meant for hibernation. They're not designed for comfort.”

“Didn't know that Wraith require comfort, I guess.”

The Wraith inclined his head in the same way as Todd always did, and John suspected that he just did that to rile him up, but his voice was even and almost friendly when he said:

“We do, Colonel Sheppard. Like any other sentient species in this universe.”

The transporter stopped to spit them out into another long and gloomy corridor that was filled with this strange mist Wraith seemed to need for their 'comfort', and John rubbed his head to ease the pain throbbing behind his temples.

“This is not the way to your prison cells or the cocoons where you're keeping your food,” he stated as he looked around to orientate himself, and the Wraith walking in front of him shook his head, his long ponytail swinging from one side to the other as he did so.

“Of course not, Colonel Sheppard. Why would I bring you to our prison cells anyway?”

“Dunno? Maybe your Commander ordered you to do so after my behavior on the bridge.”

“The High Commander would never do such a thing. He wants you to enjoy your stay, Colonel Sheppard.”

“He does, really? How considerate of him. I should be grateful then. How about the cocoons? I'd advise you to make sure that I won't be able to get there, just in case.” John drawled, curious about the Wraith's reaction.

They'd passed several closed doors that lined the corridor at each side of it, and Todd's officer stopped in front of the last one on the right side and started to press several blinking buttons and lights. “There are no cocoons on board this Hive, Colonel Sheppard. The High Commander assumed that it would upset you and make it impossible for you to feel as his most cherished guest, so you don't need to worry about that.”

John hadn't seen that coming, not at all. He'd assumed that Todd wanted to take revenge and make him watch him feeding on the poor creatures he kept trapped in those terrible cocoons, and now he was at a loss for words and didn't know what to say to this revelation.

The door whooshed to the side with a hiss, and the officer beckoned him to come closer before he'd fully recovered from his shock. “Please press your hand against this panel, Colonel Sheppard, and then enter a personal code that must contain at least eight letters or digits. You can read our script, right?”

“Yes. But what would I need such a code for?” he wanted to know when he stepped beside the Wraith to press his hand against the panel like the officer had instructed him to do. “Only you'll have access to these quarters now, and you can lock them and grant us access to them or deny it, just like you want to. The High Commander thought that you'd feel safer this way. As you're human and need much more sleep than we do, it'll help you getting the rest your body and mind require on a regular daily basis, Colonel Sheppard.”

“Hmm, I see. I appreciate the gesture, but you'll find a way to overwrite my code anyway if you want to.”

“No, we will not. Only the High Commander himself could do that, he prepared the door controls in a way that only his authorization can overwrite your code, and only in a case of real emergency. I've only had access to unlock them one time so you can leave your hand-print and your code, Colonel Sheppard.”

The Wraith stepped back and turned his head away to give him the privacy he needed for entering his code, and John blinked in astonishment and shook his head to clear his mind, typing in a series of digits. It was the number of his first driving license, so it was unlikely that anyone except for McKay perhaps would be able to decipher it.

“You have to repeat it, and after that you'll be in control of the access to these quarters. There is the same panel on the other side of the door, and you'll need both your hand-print and the code.”

“Okay, thank you.” John took his bag to enter his new temporary home, but he stopped on the threshold to look back at the young officer. “You could still shoot your way inside,” he challenged him, and the Wraith tilted his head to the side.

“Yes, we could, but we won't, Colonel Sheppard. You're our ally, and you're precious to our High Commander, so we will protect you with our lives if necessary.”

“He's probably already regretting that he 'invited' me so kindly to spend some quality on board his flagship after our quarrel on the bridge, so he'll most likely not keep you from shooting your way inside my quarters,” John countered, stubbornly ignoring the tiny voice in his head that told him to stop that and finally accept that he'd be trapped here for the next weeks and better start to behave like an adult again.

“If you truly believe that, then you don't know the High Commander as well as expected, Colonel Sheppard.” The officer pointed at the room behind the door. “There is water and juice, you must be thirsty. There are also some fruits, and I'll come to you later again with your dinner. Will three meals every day be sufficient for you?”

“Don't worry about that, I've packed some energy bars and emergency rations in my bag, just in case. But yes, three meals will be fine, I usually don't get around to eat on a regular basis anyway when I'm in Atlantis.”

“But you're not in Atlantis for the next weeks, and your superior Mr. Woolsey was very clear about expecting you back well-fed and on top of your health, Colonel,” the Wraith stated with the unnerving patience and reason that made John want to scream and stomp his foot like a small boy in his defiant phase.

“He's not my superior as he's not military, but I appreciate his concern about my well-being, I guess.”

“I was told that he's the leader of the expedition team, so I assumed that he's your superior. I apologize for my mistake, Colonel.”

“There's no need for that, but thanks anyway. I really have other worries at the moment than to explain our chain of command to you.” John rubbed his temples again. “Dinner would actually be a nice idea. I think I'm hungrier than I expected to be.”

“I'll be back in half an hour of your time with your dinner, then. That should give you enough time to rest and refresh yourself, Colonel.”

“Yeah, whatever.” John leaned against the doorway as he watched the Wraith leave with his ponytail swinging from one side to the other on his black coat, and when he eventually entered his quarters and the door whooshed shut again, he leaned against it with closed eyes and buckling knees, feeling utterly exhausted.

“Three damn weeks, how am I supposed to survive three whole weeks on board Todd's Hive without us seriously trying to kill each other before even the first week is over?” he murmured, but there was no answer, only his harsh breathing filling the cool air.

Only time would tell and give him the answer to that question, and time was something John had more than enough now, three whole and long weeks to find out what it was that Todd really wanted from him.

Three weeks with only weird Wraith as his sole company, and John suddenly wished for a bunch of replicators coming along his way – or maybe even the idiots from the IOA requiring his presence on Earth. Everything was better than the prospect of more banters with Todd he simply couldn't win this time, and John glided down onto the floor and wrapped his arms around his bent knees to bury his face in them and allow himself a few minutes of a small breakdown.

“It's just three weeks, John,” he whispered to himself hoarsely, “just three weeks, and you're going to survive them.”

Hope was the last thing to die after all, and John was not the man to give up hope that easily.


	4. Point of view

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has to contemplate his view on Wraith in general and special, and it's giving him quite a headache. Todd is still busied with his duties as the High Commander of ten Hives, but his third-in-command is less eerie than most of his brethren, and he's also willing to spend time with their human guest and prove to him that not all Wraith are just hungry beasts...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was actually meant to let John spend some time on board Todd's Hive and admit his suppressed feelings for Todd rather quickly, but then I couldn't resist diving a little bit deeper into it and add more details to John's bumpy journey towards a real alliance and relationship with Todd, so this story will surely be longer than it was first planned.  
> I also couldn't resist adding a reference to the alien species I love most in the Star Trek universe here. As John did talk about Captain Kirk somewhere in the original show, I think I can assume safely that he might also know the sequels to the original series and also the 'Borg' Captain Picard encountered for the first time in the sequel. There are some similarities between Borg and Wraith, and John would surely notice them too.
> 
> Thank you so much again for your feedback and all the wonderful kudos, they really motivate me to write the next chapter as soon as possible! <33 I'd love to hear your thoughts and read your comments too if you'd like to share them with me, and I hope that you will all continue to enjoy this story! :-)

John didn't know how he'd imagined Wraith quarters to be like as the thought that Wraith actually _did have_ quarters had never occurred to him before this day.

Of course he'd always been aware of the huge size of Hives and that Wraith usually lived in them and not so much on the surface of planets, and there had also always been the vague knowledge in the back of his mind that he'd seen only few parts of the Hives he'd been forced to board for whatever reason until today.

Hives would host several hundred Wraith or even more under normal circumstances, and they had an admittedly highly developed technology and knowledge, so there must be laboratories and rooms for all sorts of daily business like indoor arenas for training or something like offices perhaps, but John had never really bothered to give any serious thought to such things.

For him, Hives had just been some spooky space ships that belonged to his lethal enemies and must be destroyed at all cost because of that – after freeing the unfortunate humans that were trapped in these horrible cocoons or the prison cells if that was possible, of course.

It was actually logical that the quarters where the not-drone-like Wraith spent time to rest, recreate or indulge themselves in their hobbies – if Wraith even did know the meaning of such a past time – were located and secured deep inside the Hives and not close to the outer hull where they were exposed to attacks. John didn't think that the drones were granted the same privileges and comfort, but they most likely didn't require that either.

The Wraith which hadn't just been created for the sole purpose to fight and die without asking questions were all of astonishing intelligence and skills though, and thinking about that fact more closely it was actually ridiculous to assume that they didn't need or require intellectual challenges to keep their minds occupied and in a permanent state of learning and developing. But acknowledging this important truth would have meant that Wraith were suddenly not just the hungry and cruel monsters that were lacking any emotions or human virtues any longer, but a race with the same rights as other human species, and John had been too traumatized from his first encounters with them to do that.

Now he was finally forced to see the truth because of Todd's one but crucial condition that he would spend time among Wraith for weeks, to finally take a look behind the enemy-facade and re-think his own attitude and behavior towards them – and towards Todd – whether he was actually ready for that or not. Starting with the obvious and rather simple revelation that Hives were so much more than they seemed to be at first sight was the first step on the long and winding road ahead of him, and probably the easiest step as well. This journey would for sure be a bumpy ride with countless obstacles getting in his way, and John would better prepare himself quickly for that ride and accept that he couldn't just close his eyes and deny what he didn't want to see any longer.

The dark-haired colonel had never had enough time to really explore these actually pretty amazing ships that were more like large space cities rather than just space ships only built and meant for transport or space battles and defense against alien races and ships like the Daedalus for example. Now he'd have three long weeks to finally do so and actually discover all their hidden mysteries, and he should probably make the best out of them and learn, no matter how hard it would be for him.

Very well, so Wraith indeed had quarters and were not just happy to stay in their tiny hibernation pods when they were not on duty, this was a rather easy lesson to learn and accept. And yes, the human worshipers that served the Wraith as if they were some kind of gods must actually live somewhere too when they were on board for longer than just a few hours, as they had physical needs due to their human nature Wraith didn't have to the same extent when they were past their puberty and required another kind of food.

Food which allowed their worshiped Wraith masters to stay awake for days for example and didn't need to be digested the same way as solid food did. Humans also needed more light and an warmer environment, so their quarters must be adaptable to that as well. John didn't know if all Wraith Hives had worshipers on board on a regular basis, but they were probably all more or less made of the same design and concept and had at least enough room left for such rooms.

There must also be parts of the Hive where the young Wraith lived, and John shook his head about his oblivion and stupidity. He'd been happy to believe that Hives were empty and wasted gloomy deserts, lacking any kind of cultural evidence and comfort, hostile and depressing places where human life would wither away and die a lonely and terrible death sooner rather than later.

Now he was confronted with the fact that he'd been all wrong about that ever since he'd encountered this race for the very first time and created an image of them in his head that didn't really match with reality. The colonel with the dark hair swallowed and grabbed his bag and his weapons tighter as he strolled through the large room that was furnished much richer and way more comfortably than the room where he'd once negotiated with Todd and his second Kenny. There was a large ornate table made of heavy dark wood in the center of the room, six chairs placed around it inviting to sit down and enjoy hearty meals in the company of friends or family.

Two larger armchairs with a smaller table between them occupied most of the wall opposite the entrance, the perfect place to sit down and lose yourself in some pleasant reading or your favorite music. The light was not as bright as he was used to from Atlantis and Earth, but brighter than it had been on the bridge and in the corridors, and his quarters were also warm enough for him not to freeze, so Todd must have seen to that when he'd prepared them for John's arrival in his usual foresightedness as well. Another door that melted with the wall almost perfectly was apparently leading to another hidden chamber, and John found his suspicion to be proven right that the door gave way to the bedroom that belonged to his new quarters when he pressed his hand against the panel beside the door and it glided to the side with another quiet hiss.

The bed looked comfortable and was bigger than his small bed in Atlantis, and John was somehow relieved that the pillows and blankets were of a neutral silver-gray color and not of an ambiguous red or something like that. Given Todd's sometimes pretty weird sense of humor, he could have done that just to rile John up and 'reward' him for the ugly gray jumpsuit he'd been forced to wear during his last captivity on Earth.

There was also a wardrobe for his clothes and a nightstand sitting beside the bed, and John found himself stroking over the shimmering satin-like duvet to test its consistence and how it would feel on his skin. He pulled his hand back with a gasp when he realized what he was doing, feeling his cheeks heat up with embarrassment, and he was grateful that he was alone and no one there to witness his reaction to the complete unexpected he was facing right now without having been prepared for it in any way.

John turned away from the inviting bed abruptly to cross the bedroom and take a look into the bathroom that was adjoined to the bedchamber, the door to it melting with the wall once more, but still visible and easy to find. It didn't resemble those bathrooms he was used to, but he did recognize the equipment and guessed that he would soon be able to handle and operate it without any problems.

The dark-haired colonel stepped in front of the Wraith equivalent of a sink and fiddled with the tap for some time, letting out a content growl when water began to run so he could splash it into his face until the dizziness faded which had clouded his mind ever since Todd had revealed to him that they were about to leave the orbit over Atlantis. The wall just above the sink was polished and somehow translucent, and John could see the reflection of his face in it when he raised his head to regard himself for a few moments and let the last hour pass by before his mind's eye again.

He looked tired, his eyes dull and reflecting his terrible headache, and he could do with another shaving again, but this could wait until he'd gotten some hours of undisturbed sleep. John truly doubted that he would be able to sleep much over the next three weeks, because Todd might assure him again and again that his crew wouldn't try to feed on him, but hearing something and believing it were two entirely different kind of things, and John would never feel safe on board any Hive, whether they might claim to be allies or not. Too many terrible things had happened between their two races for this to ever happen, and John sighed and splashed more cold water into his face before he wandered back into the living room to wait for the arrival of Todd's third officer and the dinner he'd promised to bring with him.

Only time would tell if there was a real chance for them to become true allies and trust to form between them, but John was too tired to think about that now. He was hungry, exhausted and in pain, and he felt homesick for Atlantis like he'd only felt when he'd been stuck on Earth for so long and feared that he would never be allowed to return to Pegasus with the city that had changed his life so thoroughly and forever.

John let out another sigh and sat down on one of the armchairs to wait, relaxing his hurting muscles and closing his eyes for a moment. Just a few minutes of rest, nothing more, just a few minutes without thinking...

*~*~*

The sound of the door chime pulled John out of his dozing, and he was wide awake and on alert with the next heartbeat.

He blinked to clear the fog that had been clouding his sleep-addled brain just seconds ago, and his voice was hoarse when he called: “come in!” - just to mutter a curse under his breath when he remembered what the third-in-command had said about only him having access to these quarters.

He pushed himself out of the chair and walked over to the door on unsteady feet to fiddle with the panel and enter his code. The door opened when he pressed his flat palm against the sensor, revealing the Wraith officer with the handsome and delicate features. He carried a tray with a bowl, plates and two pots, his expression patient and all business.

“You were asleep, Colonel,” he stated the obvious when he stepped over the threshold, his words not really sounding like an apology for the disturbance, but not mocking or contemptuous about the human weakness that his for Wraith standards extensive need for sleep must be for him.

“Hmm, yes, but you'd said that you'd come back in half an hour, so your call didn't really come unexpected.” John rubbed his face with both hands and stepped aside to let his visitor in and carry the tray over to the table. His stomach rumbled in anticipation of being fed and filled any time soon, and whatever it was that was hidden under the lid of the bowl, it smelled tempting and much better than John had expected it to smell.

The Wraith officer carefully put the tray down onto the table and pointed at one of the two pots sitting next to the bowl. “It became obvious earlier that you were suffering from a headache. This tea contains herbals that should ease the pain and help you with getting some undisturbed hours of sleep. The other pot is the same tea made of dried fruits, but without the herbals. The Commander didn't want to give you the impression that he's trying to drug you against your will and without your knowledge, so it's your choice which tea you'll prefer. I also brought more water in case that you'll prefer that.”

“Thank you.” John was not as surprised about Todd's consideration as he would have been an hour ago, and he came to the table to sit down and take the pot with the tea that contained the herbals. He'd actually be grateful for something that would ease the pain, and the hot tea tasted good and loosened the cramps in his tight throat in a way that he could breathe and swallow much easier.

“The Commander will be pleased to hear that you're willing to trust him with your well-being at least partly,” the Wraith officer stated, turning around to make his way back to the door, and John suddenly found himself craving company during his dinner, hesitant to see the other male leave him again.

“Uhm, would you mind staying for a while longer... please?” he hurried to ask, and the Wraith stopped and slowly turned around to him again.

“Are you sure, Colonel Sheppard?” he wanted to know, and John nodded. “Yes – unless your duties won't allow you to keep me company while I'm eating? Human meals are also meant for social interaction, you know? We usually prefer not to be alone while we're eating. Nice company makes any meal much more tasty.”

The Wraith sat down opposite John with a frown. “The taste of food changes with the company, really? I didn't know that. For me it always tastes the same,” he said, and John felt his lips curl into a smile, the first real smile within hours.

“Not really, but having pleasant company when we're having breakfast, lunch or dinner is making a big difference to us. It's hard to explain. Humans like to come together for their meals and laugh and talk during them, so it can actually take hours until we're finished. It's a good way to make friends and bond together, and successful negotiations for trade contracts or peace treaties will usually end with a big feast, you know?”

“Yes, I think I know what you mean, Colonel Sheppard. I know this behavior from our worshipers, and it's something all human races share, I think.” The Wraith took the lid from the bowl. “I hope the stew will be to your liking – with our without my company.”

“It smells delicious, so it surely will. What is it – if I'm allowed to ask?” John took the ladle to serve himself a generous portion of the stew and fill his plate with it. There was also bread cut into thin slices, and he took one of them to dip it into the thick creamy soup for a first cautious bite.

“This stew is made of beans and other vegetables some of our worshiper colonies are cultivating, together with meat of the quarry they're hunting. It's rich of most of the nutrients adult humans require, and it's also easy to prepare and preserve. The bread comes from a market on a planet we're trading with for years.”

“I see.” John took another bite. “It's as delicious as it smells. Please tell the cook that they've done a great job, I must admit that I didn't expect to get anything like this to eat here on board.”

The Wraith officer inclined his head, and he actually looked flattered. “Thank you, Colonel. I'm glad that I could exceed your expectations.”

John's spoon made a clattering sound when it fell into the plate. “You? You're the cook? Uhm, I didn't see that coming, sorry.”

“Apparently not,” the Wraith stated evenly. “Yes, I am. The Commander assigned me to be your contact here on board and see to your comfort and well-being during your stay when he can't do that himself because of his duties as the High Commander of ten Hives. I was the link between our worshipers and the crew for a long time until I returned to the Hive permanently, and I learned cooking back then when I was with them. I know human needs and how to deal with them better than most of my brethren here on board, so I was the logical choice.”

“So you're the poor one having been ordered to babysit me, I'm sorry for that too, I guess?” John asked, not sure how he felt about that.

The other male regarded him with his usual calm expression. “There's no need to be sorry for anything, Colonel Sheppard. I consider it a great honor that the Commander trusts me with your comfort and well-being.”

“You do? Hmm, I don't think that most of your brethren would share your view on this matter. You're really full of surprises, aren't you? A Wraith who knows how to cook and who doesn't mind putting up with humans and their antics, actually talking to them instead of just considering them to be food, that's something new.” John took his spoon again to resume his dinner. “So what are your duties when you're not babysitting the 'honored' human guests of your Commander?”

“I am entrusted with the position of his senior communication officer, Colonel.”

“Yeah, obviously, he did bring you to our negotiations after all – even though you appeared to be nothing more than just a quiet observer during them. Hmm, I can see why he would choose you to be his link to other Hives or human races. He's always known how to use people and their skills to his advantage. Besides, you're one of the least eerie Wraith I've ever met, and that means something.”

The young Wraith officer tilted his head to the side. “The Commander did well to brief me about your rather unique demeanor before we met, Colonel Sheppard. I'll take your words as the compliment they were most likely meant to be, then.” he said with the slightest hint of mocking amusement in his dry voice, and John grinned at him with a helpless shrug of his shoulders.

“I'm lucky that you're also one of the few Wraith who actually understand and appreciate the fine art of humor, I guess. Do you have a name, by the way? I'm still not sure whether you guys actually don't have names – or if you're just not willing to share them with us inferior humans...”

John silently congratulated himself that he'd eventually been able to pull a reaction from his counterpart that wasn't just polite indifference, because the Wraith actually went so far to let out an audible snort at his words.

“You're surely not 'inferior' in any way, Colonel Sheppard, and the answer to your question is too complicated to answer it with a single sentence.”

“Hmm, I see.” John took another sip from his tea. “Look, I know that you guys usually don't take it well when we're giving you names, but as most human races are not gifted with telepathy - we don't have much of a choice if we don't want to get totally confused when we're having to deal with your species. I could of course just call you 'Wraith', 'officer' or maybe even 'Third' – even though this reminds me too much of the Borg...” John shook his head. “Funny actually, you have something in common with them, the collective, the scary queens, even the telepathic mind-link... but I must say that you look a whole lot nicer than they do. I'm just not sure which one of the two things that differentiate Wraith and Borgs I find worse: your feeding on humans or their way of assimilating other races.”

“The Borg?” His counterpart inquired with both confusion and curiosity audible in his multi-toned voice, “Who are the 'Borg'? I've never heard of them.”

John chuckled. “Obviously. They're not real. One of our entertainment companies on Earth created them. On Earth we love to watch movies – moving pictures on a screen that tell stories about real or fictional events. Long before we knew about the Stargate or space ships that can fly through hyper space, one of the companies producing such movies created a series about a futuristic world where space travels and all of this was possible, and they called it 'Star Trek'. The first captain of the star ship Enterprise was 'Captain Kirk', my favorite main character of the series.

It was such a success that the company decided to produce several sequels of this first series, and for some of them they created a special hostile species the Federation of planets, especially Earth, had to fight against: the Borg. They were a cybernetic species and superior to most other races, partly humanoid and partly artificial, assimilating other species by force to integrate them into their collective. The collective was telepathically linked to one single mind – just like you are connected through your Hive-mind, and the ruler of this collective was the 'Borg-Queen', with powers similar to what your queens have, the ruler over the entire collective.

The Borg-drones of the collective didn't have names like they'd once had as the individuals they'd been before they had been assimilated, but just designations that referred to their positions and ranks within the collective. The first Borg the new star ship Enterprise of the first sequel freed from the collective was 'Third-of-Five'. I'm reminded of him each time Todd – your Commander – is speaking of you as his third-in-command.”

John went silent, watching closely the Wraith's reaction, who just sat there motionless for a while, thinking about what John had told him.

“I see. These Borg sound like a rather intriguing and interesting concept, but I must remind you that Wraith are all individuals despite the Hive-mind we crave and share. Except for the drones, but even they understand themselves as individuals to some point, and we also do not wish to assimilate other species, but I think I comprehend why you'd see some similarities between them and us.” he finally spoke up, “so in your understanding I'd be 'Third-of-Six' then, the third of the six highest ranking officers of this Hive together with the Commander himself. As we don't have a queen anymore, he would still just be referred to as the Commander though - and not as 'First of Six', right?”

“Yeah, he would just be the Commander as he's taking up the position your queens usually have - similar to the Borg Queen, and you were indeed 'Third of Six' then, sort of... shortened to 'Third' perhaps? Is this really how you'd want to be addressed? I can't believe that someone would prefer that over a real name, but maybe my human mind is simply not made to understand that. Todd has actually never complained about the name I've given him.” John mused loudly, feeling more thoughtful than actually defiant or ready to pick up another fight. “I must give him credit for that, I think, as none of your brethren have been pleased when we've been trying to create some common ground by giving them a name and making it easier for both parties to talk to each other and maybe even understand one another.”

“I cannot speak for the Commander and his feelings regarding the name you've chosen for him, it is all upon him to do that. I would actually advise you to ask him about that, as it might help you to understand him and his intentions a whole lot better, Colonel Sheppard. But I can tell you something about our culture, our way of life and the understanding we have of ourselves as individuals as much as a race, if you'd like that. It's all about the different point of views people have - and which might match or not match with the point of view of their allies or enemies. Different races have different cultures, beliefs and views on things, and you cannot expect us to just accept happily any name you've chosen for us while there are iron bars between us that make us your prisoners.”

John stared at the Wraith in stunned silence, and he had to admit that he'd never seen it that way, but he was honest enough to get the other one's point of view on this. He'd always uttered the first name for their Wraith prisoners that had come into his mind, common and well-known often used male names, but he'd never really thought about their meaning and how he would feel like if someone did that to him. He'd hesitated to choose a name for Todd for a rather long time, for reasons he still couldn't really explain; and when he'd finally realized that he simply couldn't call the one he was tied to because of the Gift of Life and all the experiences they shared just his 'Wraith-buddy' any longer, he'd chosen the name 'Todd' because he'd once known someone with the name who had been special to John in his own way.

He'd never really explained the choice of the name to anyone though, even not when Rodney had really bothered him a lot that he'd do that, and he'd resorted to his usual nonchalant attitude and claimed that 'Todd' didn't mean anything special to him. None of his teammates or the other members of the Atlantis expedition had ever suspected that this time Todd hadn't just been the first male name that had come to his mind, but a name he'd actually chosen with some care for this special and unique Wraith, assuming that John would never bother about such things when it came to one of their lethal enemies. Maybe Todd himself had sensed that his new human name meant something to John though - and therefore never objected against it, but simply adopted it for himself as well.

“I've never seen it that way, but you might have a point here,” the dark-haired colonel finally drawled when he'd gotten over his initial shock and moment of surprise, “and I think I'd really like that. Your Commander expects me to spend three weeks with you so I can learn more about you, and I don't have anything better to do anyway, so please go ahead and tell me something about your point of view and self-concept. I'm sure that it'll be enlightening.”

“I hope so, Colonel Sheppard,” his Wraith babysitter stated politely, and John leaned back in his chair and crossed his feet comfortably under the table, the food forgotten on his plate, but he would occasionally sip from his tea as he listened with growing fascination.

Todd had once told him that there was a lot of things he didn't know about Wraith, and John realized that this was the truth as the minutes passed by. Maybe his view on Todd and some of his brethren hadn't been the right one, not completely at least. For the first time in his life John was actually willing to reconsider and perhaps even change his opinion about Wraith to some point, and maybe this was what Todd had actually wanted from him all along.

Only time would tell, but a start was made, and the prospect of having to spend three weeks on board Todd's Hive was suddenly not as awful and terrifying as it had been just an hour ago.


	5. More than a name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Todd's third-in-command are talking about names and their meaning for the identity of a person. As it turns out, what seemed to be so simple at first sight is much more difficult and interesting than John thought it to be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hurried with this chapter as it actually belongs to the previous one to complete John's talk with Todd's officer.
> 
> There is some philosophy in this chapter, I think. It at least reflects my personal view on the interesting topic why the Wraith of the show were always so opposed to the names John chose for them - at least all of them except for Todd, who simply seemed to accept it and not take it as a serious offense. I'd like to learn more about your thoughts to this topic, as there are so many different ways left how to approach it as the series never really dove deeper into it. <33
> 
> Todd will appear again in the next chapter and deal with a very thoughtful - (and much more cooperative) - John, but as I promised my girl to update her special Voyager story, Areon and Marcus are starting to make growling noises at me and I have a pretty busy working week ahead of me the next chapter of this story will have to wait for a while longer after posting this chapter.
> 
> Thank you again so much for your on-going support, it really means so much to me!!! <33

“You asked me about our 'names', Colonel Sheppard,” Todd's officer started his explanation, and John nodded his head, curious about what would come next.

“Let me please ask you a question first, then. I've lived among our human worshipers for many years, but I don't know much about Earth and your different cultures there. What I know though is that the worshipers I have encountered over the course of time often shared the same name with others, their surname for example when they had one and belonged to the same family or clan. And there were also men and women who were not related to each other but yet answered to the same birth name when it was a common name with a long tradition. Is it the same where you're coming from? Is John a name other men have been given as their first name as well?”

“Uhm yes, that's actually the same on Earth. My first name John is indeed a rather popular name, and there are also several different variations of it – like Ian, Johann or Ioannis for example. My surname 'Sheppard' is also a name that is to be found rather often – family or not. Our surnames have once come from the profession and jobs our ancestors had in order to earn their living, or from the region, city or land where they lived. Sometimes the spelling would change over the centuries, but a lot of surnames are still referring to these things – like the surname 'Miller', which says that once there must have been at least one miller in the history of said family.”

“I see. So there could be a lot of 'John Sheppards' living on Earth – men who don't have anything in common with you, but yet share the same name with you?”

“That's pretty likely, actually a given, yes.” John gave back, not sure whether or not he was liking the direction in which their conversation was heading.

“Would you say then that your name is what truly identifies you? The one thing that will give other people a clear image of you to help them understand the true nature of your personality? That your name would be all they needed to always recognize you and never mistake you for anybody else?” The Wraith looked at him, and John got the impression that he was looking right under the facade of laid-back carelessness he was usually wearing on his face to hide his true self from other people.

“Are you just trying to read my mind, Wraith?” he snapped. “Because let me tell you that I absolutely don't like that!”

“No, I'm not trying to read your mind, Colonel. Plus, you would know that if I tried to do that, I can feel the strength of your mental barriers without actually reaching out for your thoughts. Your reputation has always preceded you, and I can tell that the stories about how you were able to resist the queens you have encountered to at least some extent must be true. Which is astonishing enough as only strong and experienced Commanders and other queens can withstand the mental attack of a powerful queen. Please believe me that I would never try to read your thoughts without your permission, nor that our Commander would ever allow such things to happen on board his Hives. He respects your boundaries much more than you want to acknowledge, Colonel Sheppard.”

“Okay, I'm willing to trust you here, and thank you for the compliment. Your queens have given me quite a headache in the past, but I'm glad that you're not trying to compete with them, because I really don't want to have another person in my head. And it's John, please call me just John. My Earth military rank doesn't count here among your brothers anyway.” John rubbed his temples and sipped from his tea again to hide his confusion.

“It certainly does. We surely respect you for the skilled warrior you have proven yourself to be, and military ranks that must be earned through actions and skills are actually something we Wraith do acknowledge and respect a lot. Apart from that, it wouldn't be appropriate to address you by your first name, Colonel Sheppard.” The Wraith objected, but John could see that he felt flattered by the way his skin color changed, the bluish underlayer becoming more distinct.

“You said that the Commander assigned you to see to my comfort and well-being. Well, I'll feel much more comfortable if you were complying with my request to call me John and not Colonel Sheppard all of the time. Otherwise I fear that I have to deliver an official complaint to your Commander that you're making my settling in here much harder than it could be.”

“You do not hesitate to resort to using extortion yourself if it serves your purpose to reach your goals, _John,_ do you? Something you apparently share with our Commander – even though you complained about his 'extortion' earlier today as far as I remember,” the Wraith stated dryly, and John grinned at him.

“If it makes you call me John? The end justifies the means, doesn't it. And look, that wasn't so hard, was it?”

“That depends on how one looks at it, I assume. Only fools will underestimate you, John, and only one time, because they won't get a second chance to underestimate you again, I'm sure of that. The Commander will definitely reprimand me for my inappropriate behavior, but if it helps you feeling more comfortable here on board for the next three weeks, then I will accept that and comply to your demand, John.”

“Hmm, okay, I'll put in a good word for you and tell him that you didn't have any other choice here. And to answer your question from a few minutes ago: No, my name is only a minor part of my identity, an important one, but not the only one. Even more as it wasn't me choosing it, but my parents – at least my first name John. My surname comes from the family I was born into – and it actually tells more about me than my birth name does as my family is... let's just say... rather well known in the city where I grew up.

But my name helps others to address me and recognize me among other people at least, and I'm sure that there is only one John Sheppard in Atlantis and the whole Pegasus Galaxy, so my name is indeed something that identifies me here in Pegasus perfectly. You see, the problem is that humans are social beings living in societies with other people – just like you – but without your mental abilities.

We can't just call each other 'human', 'mister', 'madam' or 'sir' to address and differentiate us, and not all of us have ranks that would help with that. Names are crucial for our understanding and our self-concept. Our names are not what defines us alone, but it's a part of our identity and something we can't go without. People suffering from amnesia for example find that not remembering their own name is one of the worst things about their amnesia, and this fact makes it hard for them to go on with their lives pretty much. We're much more than just our name, but without it, we're incomplete and somehow lost.”

“That's an intriguing thought, and Wraith do understand that, Col... John. But you will surely agree with me that giving someone a name – even more when we're not talking about a loved and wanted child – is more about reflecting the view of the one giving the name has on the named one – and not really reflecting the view the individual that is supposed to accept it has on themselves, right?”

“Didn't know that Wraith are such philosophers. I must have missed that somehow,” John muttered, grateful that the herbals were finally kicking in and easing the pain that was still throbbing behind his temples. “I'm not sure that I'm getting what you're trying to tell me.”

“The first Wraith you encountered – trapped – did you like them? Did you want to get to know them better?” Todd's communication officer asked, and John snorted and shook his head.

“You know that I didn't. I hated them – feared them – but I needed to address them somehow, so I gave them a name I could call them by. And before you ask: none of these names were truly offending or anything of this kind. I hated them, yes, but I think that I'm professional enough not to disgrace my adversaries by using opprobrious names to address them. Steve is actually an old and often used name in Earth history, even some kings answered to them with pride. The same goes for Bob – the short version of Robert – which is also an old and honorable name – and Kenny from the old name Kenneth. Maybe the shortened nickname version is not appropriate for a proud being that is several thousand years old, but it's still a honorable name nonetheless. Even Michael...” John swallowed, unable to finish his sentence. He felt upset and misunderstood, and his new babysitter seemed to sense that, because he smiled apologetically at him.

“Yes, I know that, John,” his Wraith babysitter hurried to assure him, obviously sensing that John felt hurt about the accusation that he'd tried to disgrace the Wraith he'd named in any way.

“The Commander told me that, he did some research about the names you chose for him and the other Wraith you'd caught and given a name before you met him. And you're right, they might have meant nothing to them, but they weren't offending either, and your intention was never to humiliate them but to make it easier for you to deal with the enemies you knew only so little about at this point. We've actually been called much worse over the course of time from other human races.”

“Glad to hear that,” John murmured, putting his mug back onto the table and shifting in his chair for a more comfortable position.

The Wraith smiled at him and nodded his head as he continued with his philosophical uptake on this surprisingly difficult topic.

“So a name will always depend on the view someone has on their counterpart, right? Parents loving their child will choose a name they like very much for their baby, or maybe the name of a loved but deceased relative. The child might have chosen a totally different name for themselves when they were old enough to understand the meaning behind the Gift of Naming, and enemies will surely refer to one another with epithets that are actually meant to insult the opponent. And a name alone will never make it possible for you to know another person entirely and understand their personality, especially when it comes to names that are used on a regular basis. Two people can have the same name and yet be totally different people.”

“Hmm, you're right with that,” John said thoughtfully, relaxing a bit. “Apart from the issue with different people answering to the same name you're saying that our perception of ourselves will differ considerably from the perception others will have of us – and that this is making it hard to truly define our identity? That the view you have on yourself – or another one - will never be the same as they have on you or themselves, and that this is what leads to problems and misunderstandings when we're dealing with others? Is that what you're trying to tell me?” He had to think of McKay and his first name Meredith all of a sudden, a name the genius hated to pieces, but which his sister loved to call him by.

“Yes, John more or less. I'm aware that this is difficult for you to process, but I'll try to explain it to you as best as I can. If you were a telepath and I would address you in our mental link or talk about you to another telepath, I'd reflect an image of your unique mind-print – your real essence and what it makes me feel. Your mind-print is as unique and special as your hand-print, no other living being that has ever existed – or will ever exist – has the same mind-print as you do. The way any recipient will feel about your unique presence is different from what another one would feel about it of course, but your mind-print itself will always be the same and absolutely distinctive, each telepath will get the same image of it.

The mind-print of the Commander makes us feel safe and well cared for as his crew, while the crew of a hostile Hive would link his unique mental essence with fear or hate perhaps, but there would never be any mistaking about him and who he truly is. It's not just about his features and his virtues, or about a combination of all of that together with his looks, it's the recognition and reflection of his entire and true self. No name could ever do him any justice, and we don't even address him with 'Commander' or 'High Commander' when we're mentally linked – these things are not necessary then any longer. Even Wraith or human telepaths who have never encountered him beforehand will know whom we're 'talking' about and recognize him easily later on, and no name or designation can ever compare or live up to the mind-print of a sentient living being.”

There was a long silence when the Wraith officer had finished his explanation, and John thought that his world had just turned upside down.

“Uhm, wow. Definitely better than 'Third of Six', right? I think I can see why 'Todd', 'Steve' or 'John' wouldn't even come close to that. You're talking about someone's soul, aren't you?”

“About the part of someone's consciousness – soul - others can 'see' and 'feel', yes. It's a little bit different and more complicated, but in some way yes. Each sentient being has an unique mind-print, but only telepaths can 'touch', 'see' or 'feel' them.”

“How does it look like? How am I supposed to picture the mind-print of another being – or of myself? I don't think that I can even begin to imagine it. Is it about colors or sounds? About real images or feelings?” John hadn't thought that he could ever be so fascinated by anything any Wraith could ever tell him about themselves, but here he was, staring at the Wraith in awe and shock, and he wanted to know more about how Wraith recognized and identified each other.

“About all of that together, best described with the unique sound of a voice or the natural scent of another person if that is helping you. You know that Wraith have heightened senses and can hear sounds humans can't hear and smell pheromones you can't detect. I have spent enough time in your presence that I will always be able to find you among a crowd of people or even from a large distance by your scent, even if there are other smells covering it partly, or if your smell is changed due to a disease, distress or other effects. The same way I would be able to always recognize you by your mind-print after a first mental bonding. Your presence is so strong that I can even sense parts of it without bonding with you, John. It's a rather poor comparison, as the mind-print is so incredibly much more than just a sound or scent, but there's no better way to explain or describe it to someone who has never experienced it for themselves.”

“I think I'm able to get some of the idea, thank you. I'm not sure though how I feel about the fact that my mind-print is so strong that you can feel it without bonding telepathically with me,” John replied slowly after a moment or two, “but you probably meant it as a compliment.”

“That I did indeed, John.” The Wraith officer inclined his head in agreement, and John felt a small smile tug at his mouth.

“I think I begin to understand why you're so opposed to names, at least to human names. A combination of sounds, colors, feelings, pictures, the image of someone's soul, this is not what I expected you to tell me, but it does make sense. Either way, can such a mind-print be... I don't know 'translated' into any kind of name?”

“No, it's far too complex for that, John, and there are no words in any language I know that could do the mind-print of a sentient being do any justice. The mere attempt would probably end in an endlessly long array of words that wouldn't make any sense to you.” The other male returned his thoughtful gaze, and John chewed on his lip.

“Even though I understand you far better now, and your aversion against simple names as a substitute for your unique mind-prints, but I'm still left with the problem of how to address you. I'm human, head-blind and not capable of seeing – or feeling – your mind-print, and just calling you 'Third', 'Wraith' or 'officer' is making me feel uncomfortable as you're most likely the one Wraith next to Todd I'll be dealing with the most, right?”

“That's correct,” the Wraith agreed, both of them falling into another silence for a few moments. John felt the effects of the herbals slowing his thoughts down, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to focus and stay awake for much longer.

“If... if I chose a name for you, a human name, but would choose it carefully and give some really serious thoughts to its meaning, would you accept it without feeling offended, officer?” he finally asked when his eyelids were getting heavier, and the surge of relief and joy filling him with warmth made his smile deepen when he saw it mirrored on the face of his new friend.

“Of course, John, I'd feel honored if you chose a name for me, and I agree with you that it would make things easier for both of our people, for the New Lanteans under your command as much as for me and my brethren. This is what alliances are all about after all, isn't it? Finding common ground and a solid basis for each party belonging to the alliance, negotiating compromises and coming to a better understanding for the needs of your allies. If you feel more comfortable and safer being allowed to give your new Wraith allies names if necessary, choosing them with care and consideration, then we will not take offense at our human-like names but accept them.” his companion said, and John thought that the day which had started so terribly would at least end on a consoling note.

“I have to think about it for a while, I guess, but I can promise you that its meaning will be important to me and that I'll do my best to choose a name for you that will not disgrace you in any way. It might be a poor substitute for who you really are, but it's all I can offer as the head-blind human I am.” John said, and the Wraith's features softened.

“Please don't underestimate yourself like that. Not being a telepath is not a flaw in any way, even though a lot of my brethren would see it this way. But telepathy and being so dependent on the mental link with your kin can also be a burden and make things very hard for you when you're cut off from your brethren.”

John pulled a face. “You're talking about Todd,” he said, and the young officer nodded.

"Yes, John.”

“Hmm, I always wondered how he coped with his time in Kolya's bunker and being separated from his brethren for so many years. Ten years can be an eternity when you're abused and tortured without any hope left that you'll ever be free again, even for an immortal being.” John was more talking to himself now, but his counterpart nodded again.

“That's true, John. As I said, there are a lot of things you should talk about with him. It would be of great benefit for both sides – us Wraith and you and the New Lanteans – if the two of you came to a better understanding of each other. I will leave you alone now, though. You're dead on your feet, and you really need to rest for a few hours. The herbals should help you getting some sleep, and I'll give you my word that no one will disturb you. You're safe here, John, none of my brothers will think of doing you any harm, you have my word on that.”

John sighed and struggled to his feet to show his visitor out. The Wraith took the tray and made his way to the exit, and the dark-haired colonel typed his code into the panel to open the door for him.

“I'd never thought that I would ever say that to any Wraith, but I actually start to believe you, officer, and I want to thank you for your honesty. You gave me a lot to think about, but as you said, that's all it is about, right? I didn't think that this alliance could truly work, but I might have been wrong here, and if it will yet work out, then it'll be mostly thanks to you.”

The Wraith looked at him with his usual calm expression, but there was a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“I'm merely doing my job, John, but thank you. Goodnight, I hope that you will sleep well given the circumstances.”

“Goodnight, officer.”

The Wraith left him with the tray, quickly disappearing into the gloomy hallway, and John closed the door and crossed the living room to enter his bedroom and the adjoined bath. He was too tired to do more than just strip down to his underwear, relieve himself and brush his teeth, and he fell asleep almost the minute his head touched the cozy pillow, but he did so with the feeling that he'd done rather well for the first day of his special vacations, and with the anticipation of the forthcoming three weeks.

There was indeed a lot he hadn't known about Wraith, just like Todd had once said, and John had to admit that he was finally ready to learn more about them and this without the feeling of disgust and hate he'd always felt before today.

But there was also a lot Todd didn't know about him and humans, and John was pretty much looking forward to teaching him about these things in return and see where their journey would lead them.

Maybe this alliance was yet the best thing that could have happened to both of them, and the image of Todd's face followed John into his sleep and his dreams, the image of Todd smiling at him and offering his hand to him. It was upon John to reach out and take it, and maybe something really good would finally come out of it.


	6. Breakfast with Todd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John wakes up feeling refreshed and ready to face Todd, and during a hearty breakfast he finally tells Todd why he chose this name of all names for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter became much longer than I anticipated it to be, and I hope that it turned out to be the way I wanted it to be. <33  
> I always wondered why John needed a rather long time to come up with a name for Todd, unlike he did when he named Steve, Bob, Michael and Kenny. I know that the bosses of the series wanted to honor the make up artist by naming this special Wraith after him, whose name was Todd and who was a fan of the band KISS, (hence the star tattoo around Todd's eye), but this couldn't of course be the reason for John in the series to choose this name. As John is not the one thinking about Greek or Latin names, I built a background story for the name Todd that is based on John's degradation after Afghanistan. I hope that you'll find it plausible and like it.  
> A big thank you for your feedback and support again, your visible encouragement is my biggest motivation to write more and makes me truly happy! <33

John woke up after several hours of undisturbed and peaceful sleep, feeling refreshed and almost eager to start his truly unusual vacation on board Todd's flagship. He suspected that the herbals had actually had a much stronger effect than Todd's communication officer and third in rank had let on last night, but he couldn't really be angry about that as he'd been given the choice whether to drink the tea or not, and getting more than six hours of sleep was a luxury he didn't have that often either, so he wouldn't complain about it.

He fiddled with what must be the taps for the shower for some time, growling contentedly when the hot spray of water finally started to run, massaging away the last kinks he'd still felt between his shoulder blades. He leaned against the violet organic wall the shower cubicle was made of just like the rest of the giant space ship, closing his eyes and letting the previous day pass before his mind's eye again. There was a lot Todd's third-in-command had given him to think about, and for the first time since his first encounter with Wraith in general and Todd in special he felt ready to acknowledge his own participation in all the bad things and misunderstandings that had happened between their two so different and yet so closely related races - and which had led to so much destruction, pain and grief.

John really needed to finally talk openly to Todd, and he would do that, despite the serious discomfort and dread he was always experiencing when he had to talk about his feelings. He'd never been good at that, his father Patrick Sheppard had made sure of that from the day on John had been born. But Todd deserved to get some answers at last, and John probably deserved getting some answers of his own just as much.

Having made up his mind like that the dark-haired colonel was suddenly pretty eager to get things started, and he switched the water off and dried himself with the towel he found hanging over the hook next to the shower cubicle. It was made of a material soft like silk but as effective as terry cloth when it came to the drying part, and John made a mental note to himself to ask Todd about this special material one day.

Freshly showered and dressed he looked himself over in the mirror hanging over the sink one last time, content to see that the dark circles under his eyes had paled and that he looked much more like his usual laid-back and confident untroubled self again. He was so used to wearing a mask and being the easy-going John Sheppard people expected and wanted him to be that he'd almost started to forget the real John who was hidden so deep inside himself, but maybe his stay on board a Hive filled to the brink with stoic Wraith would help him find his true self again.

John left his quarters and looked up and down in the dark and empty hallway to orientate himself, and he was surprised not to find any guards standing before his quarters. The corridor was deserted, no one to be seen, so Todd was probably fine with John strolling through his flagship alone and without any guards keeping him from seeing the interesting parts he hadn't seen during his former visits of other Hives.

He found his way back to the transporter easily, and he was soon fiddling for some time again, this time with the panel that granted him access to the transporter controls, but he managed to seek out the button that would hopefully bring him up to the deck where the bridge and the throne hall must be located. John leaned against another violet wall and whistled a cheerful melody, and the transporter set itself in motion with a hiss, bringing John closer to his destination and the one being he was suddenly looking forward to seeing again.

Whether Todd was truly his nemesis – or maybe more his destiny - John would most likely know that when the three weeks were over, and John couldn't deny the truth any longer, namely that he was secretly hoping much more for the latter to be true.

*~*~*

“Ah, Colonel Sheppard, good morning. You look much better than you did yesterday if I'm allowed to make that observation,” Todd greeted him when he entered the bridge a few minutes later, looking fresh like morning dew and wide awake himself, and not as if he'd been awake and working all night long, positioned behind the largest console in the center of the bridge once more. “I'm pleased that you found your way here without any help, my faith in your sense of direction was apparently not misplaced.”

“Good morning, Todd. You look not too bad yourself this morning,” John retorted wryly, and Todd quirked one of his eye-ridges in astonishment.

“You certainly know how to make pleasing compliments, Sheppard, I'm thoroughly impressed,” he gave back in a mocking voice, but there was an undertone that spoke of real fondness, and John enjoyed their teasing and almost flirtatious easy-going banter more than he probably should.

“Dr. McKay told me that I should try to work on my charming skills, you know, so I'm glad that it works with you, Todd,” he said, and Todd's golden eyes started to glitter in amusement when he inclined his head in his usual way.

“I shall thank Dr. McKay for his efforts to teach you the fine arts of courtesy and other social skills the next time I'll meet him then, I guess. Your genius scientist is for sure an expert in such useful things.” the tall Wraith answered ironically, and John thought that he actually ought to come to McKay's help.

“Rodney does know how to make small talk and utter pleasantries if he puts his mind to it and is not too busied with saving the whole galaxy,” he defended his friend, and Todd's features softened a bit.

“I'm sure that he does, Sheppard. Besides, we appreciate Dr. McKay for the intelligent and amazing scientist he is, not for his ability to make pleasant compliments and indulge himself in small talk. He's well-known and truly valued and respected among my kin, and he has earned his good reputation through his actions and scientific skills, not through his social skills when it comes to uttering meaningless niceties. Wraith don't have much use for such things anyway as you surely know, Colonel Sheppard.”

“Rodney will be glad to hear that.” John swallowed, suddenly feeling pretty nervous. “Care to join me for breakfast? If your duties allow you to do so, I mean?”

Todd looked surprised, but truly pleased and even touched at John's shy request. “Of course, John,” he said, his voice much softer and completely sincere now, all mockery and teasing gone from it. “What kind of host would I be if I invited you on board my Hive just to leave you alone afterwards? My third has already prepared your breakfast, but I gave him the order not to disturb you but let you sleep in as tired and exhausted as you looked yesterday. Is your headache better this morning?”

“It's gone, thanks to your 'herbals',” John drawled, and Todd inclined his head once more, his eyes twinkling at the hidden accusation that he'd tried to drug the human colonel.

“I'm pleased to hear that, Sheppard, they are known to be very effective and helpful – but without any long-lasting side-effects. Would you prefer having breakfast in your quarters? Or rather in my private office? We would be undisturbed either way.”

John didn't feel ready to invite Todd into his quarters, not today. Maybe this would change over the next days, but Todd's office sounded like a good alternative to him.

“Your office if you don't mind,” he said, and Todd offered him a brief understanding smile.

“Of course, not, John. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable.” the ancient Wraith went still for a moment, and John suspected that he was giving some telepathic orders to his third as Todd's communication officer was not on the bridge but apparently busied somewhere else.

“Please follow me.” Todd beckoned him over to the exit on the other side of the bridge after another short moment, and one of the Wraith officers John didn't know – and whom he had as well ignored so far as he had to admit – went over to take the place of his Commander and operate the console during Todd's absence. Neither of them spoke, but they didn't look hostile either, and they had acknowledged John's arrival with short bows of their heads.

The dark-haired colonel knew that he would have to get used to their unnerving silence sooner rather than later, and he suspected that most of them didn't have contact to head-blind humans on a regular basis and simply weren't familiar with communicating by using their mouths instead of their minds. They didn't need to involve their food in small talk and nice conversation before they drained their living food source dry, so it was understandable that they left the conversation part up to their Commander, at least until they would find themselves in a situation that required their active participation in such audible talks without any chance for them to withdraw from it.

The way to Todd's office was short and John looked around curiously when he entered it. The room was furnished with a large desk and a heavy armchair behind it, several small notepads and two larger laptops occupying most of the desktop. A smaller chair sitting before the desk was most likely for Todd's visitors, and there was another table with four chairs and a bowl with fruits on it. Large bookshelves attached to the wall behind the desk and filled with all sorts of books and paper or parchment scrolls indicated that the user of this office loved to spend their time with reading, but this was something that didn't surprise John.

Todd was for sure the most unusual Wraith he'd ever met, and John was pretty certain that Todd had always been like this and not just since his years in Kolya's bunker.

“Please have a seat, John,” the Commander said, pulling one of the chairs for him, and John sat down on it while heat was crawling into his cheeks for some reason he couldn't quite explain.

“Thank you, but I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself,” he murmured, watching Todd circling the table and sitting down opposite him.

“I never doubted that, Sheppard,” the Wraith replied, “but you're my honored guest, so I'm taking pleasure in spoiling you a bit.”

The door to Todd's office opened before John could come up with a witty remark that would ease the tension between them that was suddenly filling the misty air, and John was actually grateful that Todd hadn't given order to illuminate his office some more, because he was damn sure that his face was red like a tomato. Considering the heightened senses each Wraith possessed, Todd wouldn't miss his embarrassment anyway, seeing the changed color of his cheeks and smelling his discomfort by his changed scent, but the ancient being was polite enough not to mention John's state, focusing his attention on the two drones which carried John's breakfast on two heavily loaded trays.

“Wow, do you want to feed a whole company?” John asked, his eyes growing big when he saw the amount of food on the trays, but Todd only shrugged his shoulders.

“Not at all, Sheppard. I couldn't help but notice that you've lost weight during our stay on Earth, and that you yet have to regain what you've lost. You've never been on the plump side of people, and some more pounds on your ribs wouldn't do you any harm, would it?”

“So there's more for you to feed on, huh?” John countered, but he regretted his words right away again when he saw the look on Todd's features. His expression went neutral and emotionless within the blink of an eye, just as if someone had closed the shutters before their windows to lock John out.

“I wouldn't feed on you, even not if you were the last human being left in this universe and I were close to the death of starvation, Sheppard,” Todd said, his voice as controlled as his features, and John cursed himself inwardly. The drones were still standing beside the table, waiting for the order to put the trays down, but John ignored them, and he reached out to touch Todd's long clawed fingers on the table top in a brief apologetic gesture.

“I'm sorry, Todd. That was really uncalled for.” he murmured, hoping that the Wraith would forgive him once more.

Todd didn't answer, just looked at him silently, but he didn't pull his hand away either, and John exhaled a shaky breath when the cool fingers under his palm unclenched ever so slightly. The Commander held his gaze when the drones finally moved and bent down to put the trays onto the table between them, turning around afterwards with the edgy motions of puppets that were being pulled on their strings to stalk back to the door and leave them without making any sound.

“Your drones are still giving me the creeps,” John murmured again, more to himself this time, and he flinched when Todd spoke up after the uncomfortable and heavy silence that had lasted between them for the past few minutes.

“I know, John. But you do not need to fear them, none of my drones will come close to you. They're programmed to protect you with their own lives, and you're not food to them.”

“I'm relieved to hear that, thank you. Am I forgiven, then?” John tilted his head to the side and tried a small and cautious crooked smile, a wave of relief washing over him when Todd actually returned it for a split second.

“You are, Sheppard. Always. You should actually know that by now.”

“I probably do, but old habits die hard, and your underlings have not always been... loyal to you. I'm alone here, I wouldn't stand a chance against so many Wraith all on my own and without help.”

“Something like the mutiny my former second started against me will never happen again, John, I can assure you that.”

“Hmm, if you say so? I'll do my best to believe you.” John stared at the trays with unseeing eyes before he blinked to shake himself out of his dazed state.

“Your third-in-command is actually a skilled cook. Who would have guessed that Wraith would find it useful to learn such things like cooking?” he said, pulling the lid from one of the bowls to peek into it. The smell of fried bacon and scrambled eggs filled Todd's office, and his stomach rumbled in anticipation.

“I took the freedom to ask Mr. Woolsey and Teyla Emagan about your favorites and refill our supplies before you came on board,” Todd explained when John looked up questioningly, “they were most helpful to enlighten me about your favorite food and eating habits. And yes, all of my senior officers in general, but my senior communication officer in particular, are willing to learn and adapt to make this alliance work out. As he was already so experienced and well-informed about the needs of our human worshipers he volunteered to see to your meals during your stay on board my flagship.”

“Your communication officer was very talkative and helpful so far,” John admitted, “we had a long talk yesterday, and he explained a lot of things to me I didn't know beforehand.”

Todd narrowed his eyes appraisingly. “He informed me about your chat yesterday. I had to chide him for his lack of politeness and professionalism when he told me that he's already calling you John after just one day of acquaintance.”

John grinned at him and shrugged his shoulders, filling his plate with bacon, eggs and a slice of the bread he already knew from his dinner yesterday. “Don't be mad at him, Todd, I used extortion to make him obey. You're not the only one who knows how to reach his goals. I'm not that bad at this myself, you know?”

“I would never make the mistake of underestimating your... hmm... persuasive powers, John Sheppard. I have found myself on the receiving end of them far too often to do so. Have you already decided on a name for him?” the tall Wraith asked curiously, playing with one of the fruits he'd taken from the bowl. John hadn't expected him to actually eat some of the solid food as well, but Todd could still surprise him as it would seem, because he took a plate from the tray and filled it with fruits, bread and cheese and reached for the large pot on the second tray.

“Coffee, John?”

John's eyes went big at that. “You have coffee? Real coffee?” he said in awe, his eyes glued to the pot.

“Of course real coffee. I wouldn't insult you by offering you anything else other than the real stuff.”

“You're full of surprises, but this one is a surprise I actually appreciate a lot,” John sighed happily, “and yes, coffee, please.”

Todd filled two mugs, pulling a face when he took a sip from the hot dark brew in his cup. “I think it takes the lifespan of an immortal being to understand the human addiction to coffee so many people share with you, John Sheppard,” he stated when he put his mug back down again, and John smiled at him.

“I'm proud of you, Todd, I really am. You'll get used to it, I promise you.”

“If you say so, Sheppard.”

They gazed at each other for a moment, the human colonel and the ancient Wraith who found themselves tied together by the strong and unbreakable invisible bond that had formed between them in Kolya's prison and strengthened during their escape from the Genii bunker, sharing a moment of lighthearted teasing and a deeper understanding for the other one's needs which John had always suppressed until this morning.

After a moment Todd's golden cat's eyes darkened with an emotion John couldn't detect, and he cleared his throat and took a bite from his breakfast to distract himself from the weird tingling deep in his abdomen that increased with every second that passed and because of the way Todd was looking at him with this strange intensity and fire in his eyes.

“You asked me whether or not I've already chosen a name for your communication officer,” he said to go back to safe and solid ground, and Todd leaned back in his chair and reached for another fruit to nibble on it absent-mindedly.

“You can't resist naming each and every Wraith crossing your way sooner or later, so I thought that you'd soon be thinking about a name for him,” he remarked, and John shrugged his shoulders for another time.

“He explained to me why Wraith don't have names – and why any name could actually never really be appropriate to identify you. But we humans are head-blind and not able to see or feel what you call a 'mind-print', we're depending on identifying ourselves and others by our names, even if those names are not exclusive and unique,” John started, and Todd nodded slowly to show his understanding and acknowledgment for the problems humans and other non-telepaths had to face when it came to these things.

“I know that, John. I never minded that you gave me a name to address me. I'd already come to realize that you didn't do that to disgrace me, and that referring to me just as 'Wraith' was actually much more an affront in your culture than choosing a name for me would ever be – if said name was a real name and not just an epithet.”

“I'm glad that you see it that way, the Wraith I met before you and gifted with a name were not so cooperative and understanding,” John said thoughtfully, and Todd looked at him before picking a slice of cheese to sink his razor-sharp teeth into it.

“I had the opportunity to do some little research about the names you chose for the other Wraith – and for me,” the tall Commander went on with their conversation when he'd chewed and swallowed the cheese down, watching John doing the same with his bacon and his eggs. “And even though 'Robert' and 'Kenneth' would surely have been the better choice for a proud ancient being than 'Bob' and 'Kenny', but the names you chose were not the least offending. I must admit that I was actually pleased when I found out that 'Todd' is indeed a rather old name and comes from one of your ancient tribes which were known to have had some great and remarkable dauntless warriors. The only thing I'm still wondering about is why it took you so long to call me by a name – while you chose the other names almost right at the beginning of your acquaintances with 'Steve', 'Bob' and... 'Michael'.”

That was the part of his talk about names with Todd John had dreaded, and which he couldn't delay any longer, as much as he'd like to do that. He sighed, grabbing for his mug to buy himself some time. Todd was probably right seeing through him, but he remained calm and interested, and he didn't tease John about his new blush and his obvious discomfort.

“I did know that Todd is an old Celtic name when I chose it for you, but it was not the reason behind my choice,” he began to speak, his hesitance audible in his voice. “Rodney would always chide me for choosing names without thinking carefully about them beforehand, but I actually doubt that the names he would most likely come up with after hours of thinking would be so much better. Ronon would chide me for actually choosing any name for one of your kind in the first place, and Richard would probably spend hours with searching the data base for something Latin or Greek to do such ancient immortal beings like you are justice. I could do the same, but that's just not my style...” John offered his unique crooked grin to Todd, and Todd tilted his head to the side.

“No, it's not, John, and I wouldn't expect you to do that either. You're more the practical kind of guy, choosing names that are easy to remember, not only for you, but also for others who'll have to deal with your prisoners or guests.”

“Hmm, yes. Rodney was actually as surprised as you were that I needed so long to give you a name. He bothered me a lot about it and why I'd chosen 'Todd' of all names, but I never told him the reason for my choice. I always said that it was simply the first name that came into my mind when I realized that I couldn't just go on with calling you my 'Wraith-buddy' any longer.”

Todd chuckled. “I'm grateful that you opted for a real name, even though I feel flattered that you thought about me as your 'buddy' so soon after our memorable first encounter.”

John scowled at him, but he wasn't really angry with Todd. “Don't make this harder for me than it already is. I'm not good at talking about such things, and I'd rather not have this talk at all.”

“Yes, I noticed that you will usually avoid having to talk about your feelings very carefully, John.” Todd rumbled, but his brief smile was genuine and not mocking at all.

“However, the name Todd actually has an important meaning to me, but no one knows that, you're the first one I'm telling this; and I'd be grateful if you kept my explanation to yourself.”

“Of course, John. Your trust honors me, and I would never betray it. Besides, it will be a secret between you and me, and I like the thought of sharing a secret with you nobody else will know about,” Todd promised him, and John relaxed. He didn't know when he'd started to trust Todd, but he did now, and this not only with his life and his well-being, but also with the secrets he kept and couldn't bring himself to share with anybody else, not even with his team.

“Very well. Have you ever 'stumbled' upon my personal file when you happened to do some research about us and Earth?” he asked, and Todd shook his head.

“I did, yes, and I could certainly have hacked it if I'd wanted to do that, John, but I never wanted to do that. I would rather prefer it if you told me the things you want me to know about you yourself instead of hacking your file. I overheard some things people told about you to each other thanks to my increased sense of hearing, but I never actually eavesdropped actively or tried to read the thoughts of my guards to find out more about you.” Todd paused before he said:

“Did you ever realize that I could have done that when I was trapped on Earth, John? Taking over control of the minds of my guards to make them release me from my prison cell and do what I wanted them to do?”

John stared at him. “No, I didn't know that. So why did you never do that?”

“Because of you, John. You'd never have trusted me again if I'd tried to do that, and your trust is too precious to me to risk it.”

“Oh, I see.” John swallowed. “I thought that only your queens can do that.”

“Only queens and experienced commanders like me with a special mental training. That's why Kolya always kept me at the verge of starvation. At the beginning of my imprisonment I forced myself into the minds of his guards, two young men who were crazy with fear and had no chance to fight against my mental attack. It was an unfortunate coincidence that Kolya came back earlier to question me than anticipated, and only the fact that I'd fed on these poor young men saved my life because he shot me at least fifteen times, and his bullets did greatest damage to me.

When he realized how I'd managed to make them open the door, he made sure that I would never be able to do that again and only allowed me to feed as much that I just wouldn't die. Hunger was raging in my body like blazing fire for more than ten years, and every time he let me feed on his other prisoners, he tortured or shot me afterwards to keep me too weak for another escape attempt. He'd almost broken me when he captured you, John. A few weeks later and it would have been too late for me, my mind was already drifting and my body starting to give up, my self-healing powers reduced to the absolute minimum.

And then you came, so strong-willed and unbroken, pulling me out of my mental prison of hopelessness and despair that was so much worse than the bunker my body was trapped in. You gave me back so much more than only the moon and the stars, you'll never know the real depth of your offer to me, John.” Todd's voice was even and controlled, but John could hear the slight hoarseness in it nonetheless, and he suddenly had a huge lump in his throat, especially when the real extent of Todd's trust and cooperation began to sink into his mind.

After the things the Wraith had experienced as Kolya's prisoner, tortured and abused like that for more than ten years, his time on Earth in the small cell deep in the mountain of the Stargate Command must have brought back so many painful nightmares and horrible memories, and yet Todd hadn't used his mental powers to escape because he hadn't wanted to betray what little trust John might have had in him.

The dark-haired colonel swallowed several times, and all he could say to this earth-shaking revelation was: “Thank you, Todd. That means a lot to me.”

Todd seemed to understand him, because he only nodded and asked back: “So the meaning of the name Todd? You wanted to tell me about it.”

John drew in a deep breath and blinked, lifting his cup to his mouth to empty it and drink the rest of his now cold coffee.

“Hmm, yes.” He cleared his throat. “The only reason why I came to Atlantis was because I'm one of the strongest natural carriers of the ATA-gene. No one actually wanted me to be in Atlantis after what I'd done.

I'd fallen from grace after disobeying a direct order from my superior when I was serving in Afghanistan, a state on Earth. I went against this order because I wanted to rescue my comrades at all costs – and if I'd actually managed to save them, things wouldn't have been as bad as they were afterwards. But I couldn't rescue them, and when I finally made it back to my unit, I had to face the consequences of my disobedience.

I was degraded and only the fact that I'm one of the best pilots they'd ever had saved me from being discharged dishonorably. I found myself being mostly used as some kind of 'taxi-driver' after my degradation, which turned out to be lucky for me in the end as I was the pilot flying General O'Neill to Antarctica when they were preparing everything for the Atlantis mission, where my special gene was discovered by accident. The rest is history.”

John chewed on his bottom lip as he remembered how he'd sat down in that chair without thinking, and the chair had lit up brightly, just as if it had wanted to welcome him back home.

Todd waited patiently for him to go on with his story, and John licked over his dry lip and straightened his shoulders. “After my return from Afghanistan people didn't really want to have anything to do with me any longer as you can probably imagine. I could hear them talking about me behind my back when they thought that I wouldn't notice it, and they ignored me as best as they could. I lost a lot of 'friends' because of this, and others thought they could bully and pester me without facing the consequences of their own behavior. I was mostly doing okay despite of all the shit they were giving me, but sometimes it all became too much, and there was a pub where I went to when I wanted to be left alone, have a beer and watch football to forget what had happened for a few hours.”

John stared at the leftovers on his plate, unable to meet Todd's golden gaze because he didn't know what he would find there. “There was always the same barkeeper when I came to the pub, I only found out much later that he was also the owner of said pub. Its name was ' _Semper Fi',_ the motto of our Marines. It means: 'always faithful' and that Marines never leave one of their comrades behind, but will always come back for them. The barkeeper was a former navy seal, the member of a special unit. Only the toughest, strongest and best men belong to it.

He wasn't a great talker, but he was friendly and treated me like a human being and not like some kind of garbage, and one day when some old comrades of my former unit came to the pub, looking for a fight and starting to challenge me, call me names, a coward and much more. I can stand up for myself quite well as you probably know, but he wouldn't let me defend myself against them, but went to them himself and told them that I was tougher and worthier than any of them would ever be, and that he'd rather have me alone to cover his back than all of them together. They never bothered me again afterwards.

I still didn't know from whom or where he'd heard my story, he never told me. But when he came back to the counter where I was sitting after showing these guys out, he patted my shoulder and said that I'd done the right thing and that I should never let anyone tell me otherwise. He had several tattoos on his arms, and one on his forehead, right above his left eye. It was the letter 'T' of the old Celtic script Ogham as he'd told me one evening, the first letter of his name. His tattoo didn't look like yours, but it was sitting right above his left eye, just like yours is enclosing your left eye.”

John raised his head to look Todd in the eyes at last, and he was glad that he was sitting because his knees buckled with relief when he found nothing else other than respect understanding in the Wraith's golden gaze.

“His name was Todd,” he said, holding his breath and waiting nervously for Todd's reaction.

The Wraith took his time to digest what John had just told him, and he regarded him silently, but his expression was gentle and unguarded, appreciative of the name John had chosen for him to honor the one man who'd been there to defend him when no one else would do it.

“Thank you, John. I'd already come to appreciate the name when I knew nothing more than that it was an honorable ancient name some of your proud warriors answered to. But from this day on I will wear it with pride because of the special meaning this name has to you, and I feel more than honored that you'd chosen it for me at a time when we were still mostly enemies who didn't know whether or not their trust in the other one would be justified and rewarded. I will keep your story confidential, it shall be a secret between the two of us, and I will cherish it and my name like they actually deserve to be cherished.”

John felt as though a heavy weight was taken from his shoulders, and he was torn between his sudden urge to cry and the laughter that was bubbling in his throat, wanting to break free. He opted for the laughter rather than tears, hoping that Todd wouldn't mistake his reaction for mockery or carelessness. But the Wraith just smiled back at him, lifting his cup to his thin gray lips to empty it with a shudder of disgust.

“You'll get used to it, buddy,” John promised him again, eager to brighten to mood and go back to their usual business.

“I highly doubt that, but you've proven to be trustworthy in other things, so you might perhaps be right here as well, John. So have you chosen a name for my third-in-command by now?” Todd asked curiously, sensitive enough to play along and let John withdraw behind his facade of nonchalance again, at least for now.

“Yes, I have. It has a special meaning too, and I'll tell you about it, but I think it would be fair to tell him first and let him decide whether or not he wants to accept it.”

“Of course, John.” Todd rose to his feet with the elegance of a big cat, gesturing to the door. “Would you like me giving you a tour around my flagship, Sheppard? I don't think that you have seen much more than the bridge, the throne hall and the prison cells on your former visits of other Hives. I promise you that there are a lot of interesting things waiting for you that will give you a new view on us and our ships.”

“Yeah, why not?” John countered, standing up to join Todd and let his host show him around. He followed the tall Wraith out of the door, proud of himself and eager to take his mind off their serious talk from a few minutes earlier, at least for a while.

Maybe spending a few weeks on board Todd's flagship was actually a pretty good idea, and learning more about these admittedly pretty amazing space ships would prove itself to be very useful in the future, John was sure of that. Apart from that it promised to be fun too, even more as he didn't need to worry about being attacked or fed upon the very next second.

“After you, Todd. Show me that Hives are not the spooky places I thought them to be until today,” he challenged the Commander, and the tall Wraith bared his teeth to a pretty scary but nonetheless real smile.

“With pleasure, John Sheppard. I'll do my best to change your bad opinion about us.”

“Huh, not so fast, Wraith. One step after the other, and baby steps please!” John objected, but they were both laughing as they made their way through the gloomy hallway, the human colonel and the ancient Wraith, two so different beings who'd finally come to trust each other and were even beginning to form a friendship between them that would be to the benefit for not only the two of them, but hopefully for all humans and Wraith living in the Pegasus Galaxy one day.


	7. Sightseeing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd takes John on a sightseeing tour through his Hive, and in the garden that belongs to the Hive they finally have a long overdue heart-to-heart talk...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has become a long chapter, and I hope that it comes across I hope that it'll do.  
> Todd and John have finally 'that talk', but John will still need some time to wrap his mind around having a relationship with Todd that includes more than some rescue missions and patting on the shoulders, but a start will at least be made after this chapter. Feedback would be awesome, it's making me write even when I'm actually too exhausted to do so and my arm and shoulder are giving me trouble again, so please let me know if you liked this chapter or the story in general so far. <33

“Where are we going first?” John inquired curiously when he followed Todd through the long hallway to another transporter. Two drones walking towards them stepped aside silently to let them pass, and John figured that they must be the drones that had brought his breakfast to Todd's office earlier, and which had now been summoned to clear it up again through their link with Todd. Their tall face-less figures with the masks were still making him feel nervous, but he had to admit that the imminent threat and danger that had always radiated from them were gone, and that there was now even a vague aura of protectiveness emanating from them when they turned their heads in his direction with a small bow of their heads.

“What would you like to see first, Sheppard?” Todd asked back, ignoring the drones and gazing at him from over his shoulder. “There are a lot of places you haven't seen beforehand as I would assume.”

“You're assuming right, Todd,” John said, “I know the bridge, the throne hall and the prison cells – which I've come to know much better than I've ever wanted to know them as I want to point out – the cells where you keep the cocoons with your human prey...” his voice trailed off, and Todd made a calming gesture with his hands.

“There are no cocoons on board my flagship, John,” he rumbled soothingly, and John let out a small sigh.

“Yes, I know. Your third told me. Thank you for that, Todd. Hmm, what else is here to see for me? Your engines, labs, recreation areas – if Wraith actually have something like that?”

“We have all of that, John. We can't come too close to our hyper drive as the radiation level is higher than on board your space ships and you don't have our ability to regenerate, but I can show it to you on a screen from one of our labs if you like.”

“I'd like that,” John agreed, stepping into the transporter and paying close attention to the code Todd was entering into the console to remember it the next time he was alone and in the need to use it.

“Let's start with the labs, they are all located on the same level,” the tall Commander suggested, and John grinned at him.

“Yes, let's start with the official parts and save the really interesting things for the end of our sightseeing tour. I must admit that I'd never thought that I would actually be looking forward to making a sightseeing tour through a Hive one day, but here I am, ready to let you show me around.”

“I'm glad that you changed your mind, John. I'll do my best to make this a remarkable and enjoyable tour for you,” the Wraith gave back, beckoning John to leave the transporter first when it stopped on the level with the laboratories.

“There is a lot for me to learn, so I'm sure that I'll find everything interesting that you're willing to show me.” John found himself standing in another long hallway, but it wasn't as gloomy as he was used to it on Hives, and he looked questioningly at Todd. The Wraith inclined his head when he realized the reason for John's astonishment.

“Humans require more light than we do, so I gave order to increase the lights in the places I want to show you, John. It would be too straining for you otherwise. Besides, some of the experiments we're working on require more light anyway, and Wraith can adjust to bright light if necessary.”

“I see.” John didn't know how he felt about the experiments Todd had mentioned, but he hadn't come here just to shy away again now, and the more he knew about their new allies, the better for Atlantis and his own people, so he followed Todd into the first lab without uttering any objection.

Two Wraith were working on the computers, but they looked up and tilted their heads to greet their visitors when Todd strode into the room with John in his wake.

“Good morning, Colonel Sheppard,” they said in unison, and their attitude was not the least hostile but almost friendly, at least for Wraith and their usual eerie demeanor and looks.

“Uhm, good morning, guys. Don't let yourself be bothered and just go on with whatever you were doing, please,” he murmured, instinctively moving closer towards Todd as being in the same room with two Wraith he didn't know was still making him feel pretty uncomfortable and like wanting to run away at any second.

“The Commander announced your arrival, Colonel, and your visit is not a nuisance at all. He said that you're interested in our hyper drive and that you'd like to learn more about it.”

“That's true.” John turned his head to glance at Todd, and the tall Wraith offered him a brief encouraging smile, but he didn't come closer or speak up to lead the conversation. Instead, he leaned against the wall next to the exit with his arms folded across his chest in a casual manner, waiting for John to ask his subordinates about the things he wanted to know about the hyper drive of Wraith Hives.

Todd was obviously completely in his element, in charge of everything with a naturalness that came with long centuries of practice, and he was radiating self-confidence and power, every inch of his tall body speaking of 'Commander' and millennia of experience and knowledge. It was apparent that he'd been serious when he'd said that he wanted John to become familiar with his new Wraith allies and their huge space ships, and that he was fine with staying in the background to offer reassurance and shelter when John needed it but otherwise letting his human guest explore and discover his flagship mostly alone and of his own accord.

The colonel licked over his bottom lip when it became clear to him that Todd wouldn't come to his help and make it easier for him, and a small shiver ran down on his back when the Wraith's eyes darkened at the display of his uncertainty, his gaze wandering to John's lips and remaining there for a moment. There was a sudden hunger visible in Todd's gaze, burning hunger that had nothing to do with his need to feed at all. A hunger John hadn't been prepared to face it, a hunger he felt himself but which he'd always denied, even to himself. The moment was gone before John could react to it, but that Todd had finally made this move and let him see his hunger after hiding it so carefully for years would definitely change things between them.

John looked at him, and his cheeks felt too hot for the rather cool air in the lab, but Todd's expression was guarded again, and John could feel the two Wraith staring holes into his back as they waited for their human visitor to shift his attention back to them with this unnerving patience each Wraith seemed to possess.

Considering that Wraith were immortal beings that didn't age, their patience must come to them naturally, but John couldn't allow himself such luxury. He lifted his chin up in defiance and shot Todd one last reproachful look, which made the damn Wraith grin with delight and his own cheeks burn in an even darker red.

The dark-haired colonel cursed inwardly, turning around to the two other Wraith again.

“The hyper drive,” he said to get himself back on track, his voice sounding too hoarse for his liking.

Luckily Todd's underlings were well-bred and didn't give any sign that they noticed his embarrassment and confused state, just nodded their heads and went back to working on the computer in front of them. A large screen appeared over their heads, and the contours of several large structures placed in a straight pattern in a huge hall became visible on it. The structures were made of the same organic material as the rest of the Hive, but they were glowing in an intensive violet light from the inside, the cold and somewhat dangerous glow looking like thousands of giant eyes that were staring back at the fascinated watcher on the other side of the screen. The light was pulsing in a slow rhythm, and John couldn't avert his eyes from the sight, feeling mesmerized and almost as if the Hive was calling for him.

Which couldn't be as he wasn't a telepath, but there was a low humming in the back of his mind, not threatening or dangerous, more as though it wanted to welcome him.

John blinked to clear his dazed mind, but the humming was still there when he had pulled himself together again. “I'm not sure how I thought your hyper drive to look like, but definitely not like this. It looks like it has grown naturally like the rest of the ship.”

“Your observation is correct, Colonel Sheppard,” the Wraith standing at his left side said. He was a little bit smaller than his companion, with shimmering sleek hair that reached down to his waist. He'd tied it together to have it out of the way for his work, the silver-white of his neat ponytail contrasting perfectly with the black of his coat. His features were delicate and handsome, but with sharper edges than those of other Wraith like his personal babysitter, so John assumed that he was older than Todd's third-in-command but probably younger than Todd himself. The Wraith at John's right side was taller and broader, looking more like a warrior than a scientist, and his hair cascaded untamed over his back and fell into his face when he bent his head to operate his console and adjust the screen to grant John a better view on the machine hall.

“You can make a hyper drive grow like plants?” John found himself gaping, but he couldn't deny that he felt beyond intrigued about this revelation.

“The structures that contain the hyper drive, Colonel. They are built like combs, and when the structure is finished and solid enough, we'll add the technology that is the core of the drive. Our Hives are not only built of organic material, but also sentient as you probably know, which is crucial for us to operate it through our mental link. It is possible to fly a Hive with the computers only if the mental link is severed or too few Wraith are left on board to establish a stable mental Hive-link, but it's much more difficult. Hives lose their mobility and quick reaction time when they are operated without telepathy, and our technology is based and dependent on the telepathic link with our ships.”

John pondered that for a few moments. “I see. As your technology is related to the technology of the Ancients – which used mental links for their ships through their special gene as well, it's logical. Am I right that you need a certain number of your crew to operate and maneuver a Hive – that it's not possible to fly it if there's only one of you left?”

It would certainly explain why Rodney had always faced such difficulties with the computers when they had been on board a Hive and tried to operate it in the past, and why Teyla hadn't been able to fly the damaged Hive despite her strong mental abilities when they'd followed Todd's distress call after he'd used the retro-virus on himself and his crew.

“That is correct, Colonel. Only our queens as their builders can fly a Hive without a crew – and very few Commanders have been capable of doing that in the past without causing the self-destruction each Hive possesses. Hives are sentient and experience pain and fear to some extent, and they are programmed to destroy themselves when their crews are gone to avoid that other Wraith clans will use them for their own purposes.” the smaller Wraith explained to him, and John had a huge lump in his throat all of a sudden when he remembered how he'd forced Todd to fly his damaged Hive in order to save all of them from the inevitable crash.

How Todd had managed to do that as sick and weak as he'd been, suffering excruciating pain and yet forcing his equally sick and panicking ship to obey his orders without the help of his dead crew, John couldn't imagine. He definitely owed the Wraith a sincere thank you – and a heartfelt apology for what he'd done, and he wondered briefly why Todd had still come back to him to warn him and help him defeat the Super-Hive afterwards instead of just staying away from him for good after all the nasty things John had thrown at him over the years of their acquaintance.

“Your Commander can do that,” he murmured, more to himself, and both Wraith nodded their heads.

“Yes, Colonel, he is one of the very few,” the taller and broader one who'd been silent so far agreed, and the respect and devotion he felt for his Commander were audible in his multi-toned voice.

“So your hyper drive is a combination of technology and organic structure,” John went back to business because he wanted to leave the dangerous terrain their conversation had entered, “and you mostly operate it through your Hive-link. How do you do repairs when it's damaged? Do you have to wait until it has grown back again?”

“Partly. We can accelerate the growing to some extent, and as the hyper drive consists of several separated units, we can still use it for shorter flights through hyper space when some of the units are still functioning. The organic structures are exposed to the radiation during the flight, that's the reason why we have to drop out of hyper space on a regular basis for the regeneration the Hive needs after each flight.”

“Yes, that's one of the few flaws in your technology that helped us taking precautions against your attacks in the past,” John mused, “there was always at least some time left to come up with a plan to defend Atlantis when our deep-space sensors detected your ships on their way to the city. We were lucky I think that your Commander only got one ZPM to build a Super-Hive...”

The two Wraith gazed at him silently for a few seconds as if they weren't sure whether or not he'd tried to make a joke.

“We can assure you that there is no ZPM on board this Hive, Colonel Sheppard. If there was, then it would be to both of our benefits anyway as we're allies now and will always come to your defense and protection,” the left Wraith said at last, and John suppressed the cold shiver that wanted to run down on his spine at the mere thought of another hostile Super-Hive.

“That's good to know,” he drawled, pointing at the screen. “I know that you guys have a lot of stamina thanks to your... uhm... eating habits, but isn't the radiation an issue for you as well when you have to do some repairs or maintenance on your hyper drive? Where is the machine hall located on this ship anyway?”

“The machine hall is located on the lowest decks and near the rear of the Hive – under the dart-bays, Colonel. We can expose ourselves to radiation for a certain amount of time before it's getting dangerous for us, and we can send our drones there for the repairs in case of an emergency and guide them through the different steps of repairs through the Hive-mind. Their physiology is a little bit different from ours, they can withstand the cellular damage the radiation is causing for longer than other Wraith.”

“I see. I must admit that I'm fascinated. There is a lot about Hives I didn't know so far. Where does this strange low humming come from, by the way? It's not coming from your computers, it feels more as though it was seeping through the walls.” John looked around to locate the source of the low noise he could hear all of the time, and the two Wraith exchanged quick glances with each other and their Commander still leaning against the wall and watching John interact with his underlings quietly.

“You can hear it, Colonel?” the taller one asked, and John frowned. “Yes, of course. My sense of hearing might not be as good as yours, but I passed the latest tests without any difficulties, and my ears are working just fine, thank you very much.”

“You're not a telepath, but you're one of the strongest natural gene carriers of the ATA-gene, so it's actually no surprise that you can hear the Hive, Colonel,” the smaller Wraith spoke up, and there was something akin to excitement audible in his voice. “The humming is in your head, not in this room. You must have connected with the Hive mentally since you've come on board yesterday, Colonel Sheppard. We have never heard of such a case beforehand – except for your human queen Teyla Emmagan, the leader of the Athosians – but it's quite exciting as I have to admit.”

John wasn't so sure that he found this explanation and unexpected turn-out as exciting as the Wraith scientist obviously did, and he turned his head to observe Todd with suspiciously narrowed eyes.

“Do you happen to have anything to do with my sudden ability to 'hear' your Hive, Todd?” he demanded to know, and Todd shook his head, careful to hide his pleased smile from him, but John could see it lurking under the surface of calm the Wraith wore on his face nevertheless.

“No, I don't, John. That was all your own doing – and that of my Hive. It truly likes you, recognizing you as the naturally skilled and outstanding pilot you actually are, and regarding your strong gene and your love for everything that can fly it's not really surprising that you connected with my Hive.”

“I never 'connected' with any other Hive beforehand,” John objected, and Todd inclined his head in agreement.

“The circumstances have always been different. You've never been on board a Hive as a welcomed guest beforehand, that might explain the change. Each time you were forced to 'visit' a Hive in the past you were in distress and fighting against the crew. This time we're allies and you're cherished and valued, so your reaction to my Hive is different from the reactions you've always shown to the others. If I had to guess then I would say that the others were trying to connect with you as well, but you shut them out instinctively because you felt threatened.”

“Do you want to tell me that your Hive and I could be friends?”

“Would that be such a deterring thought to you, Sheppard?”

“Uhm, I dunno... perhaps not.” John's expression changed from shocked and astonished to cunning and appraising. “Will you let me fly it one day if we'll actually become friends? With your help, of course? It would only be fair considering that you're already ahead of me because you took the Daedalus and wanted to let it crash on a planet...”

“You'll leave me no other choice than to surrender to your persuasive powers anyway, Colonel Sheppard,” Todd snorted with dry amusement, “ and as you've already charmed your way into my Hive's 'heart', I'll think about your request. Is there anything else you wish to know about our hyper drive, or shall we go on with your sightseeing tour?”

“I think I have enough to think about at the moment,” John said, smiling at the two Wraith who were looking much less frightening to him than they'd appeared to be when he'd entered the lab.

“Thank you for your explanations, guys, I appreciate your willingness to share the mysteries of your technology with me.”

Both Wraith bowed their heads before him in perfect unison. “You're welcome, Colonel Sheppard,” they said, turning back to their consoles completely in sync like only mentally connected beings could do.

John drew in a deep breath and turned to leave the lab. “Okay, I'm done here, Todd. What's the next thing on our agenda today?” he wanted to know, and Todd smiled at him as he ushered him out into the corridor.

“Whatever you wish to see next, Sheppard, your wish will be my command,” he promised, the sound of their footsteps swallowed by the organic material of the floor as they made their way back to the transporter, but their companionable banter still echoing between the pulsing walls even when they were already out of sight.

*~*~*

“You have a garden on board your Hive. A real garden.”

John couldn't believe it. Of all weird and unusual things he'd expected to find in a Hive, but a real garden sure as hell hadn't belonged to them.

Todd had visited several other labs with him, labs where Wraith worked on improving their technology and its efficiency, or on combining Ancient technology with their own, and John had been falling from one surprise into the next. He'd known that Wraith had photographic memories and that they had amazing skills and hidden talents, but for him they'd mostly been soldiers and merciless warriors, hunters who didn't have any other interests or hobbies than just culling human worlds and hunting runners for their pleasure. For John it had been set in stone that Wraith had only developed their technology to be able to reach the planets where their human food sources lived without being too dependent on the Stargates, and he'd never seen them as explorers and people who had much interest in their own history, the history of their prey or fine arts and music for example.

After visiting the archaeologists in their labs and watching them preserve found pieces with rapt devotion and even tenderness, listening to the vivid discussions of three Wraith talking about medicine plants and finding a cure for the Hoffanian disease he had to admit that he'd judged this fascinating race completely wrong.

The dark-haired colonel had been rendered speechless for several minutes when one of the three scientists had revealed to him how fascinated he was by Dr. Beckett's work with the retro-virus, and that he wanted to get to know him and work with him on a solution for the feeding problem. That he and his colleagues had in fact worked on that together for decades already, and that they were still marveling how one human scientist had managed such an achievement in this short amount of time - while they'd never come this close to a solution themselves, and that regardless of their knowledge and the many, many years they had spent working and doing research on this problem.

The Wraith's admission that his own species seemed to be limited here in their abilities and mind-settings without the help of human minds had formed another lump in his throat, and he'd had to think of Michael Kenmore for a moment – whose experiments and research had brought so much terror and horror to the Pegasus Galaxy - but who on the other hand had also proven what the combination of human capabilities and Wraith skills united to a real entity could actually achieve. The human way of thinking was so different from the Wraith one, but combined and put to good use for the sake and benefit of both races it could actually bring peace to a galaxy that hadn't known anything else other than war and bloodshed for more than ten thousand years.

Todd had remained in the background again, watching John quietly and radiating reassurance and comfort, and John had finally dared to ask the questions he'd never thought to ever ask them out loud. He'd listened carefully and attentively to the answers Todd's Wraith had given him, contemplating them without sensing betrayal behind each and every word they said to him like he'd always done it in the past.

He also knew now that there were indeed Wraith that were mostly warriors and officers who were responsible for flying the Hives and the cullings of human worlds or negotiating with other Wraith clans, while other Wraith were mostly working as scientists, builders or craftsmen, depending on their best skills and preferences. Each Wraith was trained for fights and battles for years, and each Wraith gained basic knowledge in the most needed sciences, but their culture and social structure was much more complex than John had given them credit for.

He'd also almost been shocked when one of the scientists working on a cure for the Hoffanian disease had explained to him that a lot of young Wraith were deeply traumatized after their first feeding experience, their deep sense of guilt about having to kill sentient and intelligent beings that were so closely related to themselves in order to survive and not die of starvation putting them into a state of grief and self-hate that was impossible to overcome for some of them.

It was hard to give up on the image of the cruel and heartless monsters he'd clung to so desperately for so long, his own sense of guilt and shame about what he'd been forced to do since his first encounter with Todd's race easier to bear when Wraith had been nothing more than his lethal enemies to him, forfeiting their own right to live because of their need to feed on humans for their own survival in John's opinion.

The dark-haired colonel knew that he could never look at Wraith like that again, not after what he'd seen and learned over the past couple of days, and surely never again when the three weeks on board Todd's Hive would be over. He was still struggling with his own deep trauma, the one he'd suffered himself when he'd been left with the terrible dilemma to either shoot his own superior to spare him more pain and suffering – or let him live and watch him suffer and slowly pine away without any hope for a quick and painless death left. But blaming the Wraith for it and every decision he'd made under the influence of that trauma was too simple, and it was also something John couldn't do any longer. He had to find another way to deal with his guilt and shame, and he was grateful that Todd had brought him here to the garden in the center of the Hive after his talk with the three scientists.

John really needed a break, and taking a stroll through that beautiful garden was a very much needed and welcome distraction from his racing thoughts.

“Yes, a real garden, John.” Todd was watching him with a strange expression on his face, guarded and cautious, but he didn't seem to be angry or displeased like the colonel had actually feared that it would happen after his nosy questions earlier.

“It's the most efficient way to generate fresh oxygen and recycle the air circulating through our life-support systems. The Hive itself requires oxygen for its cells as well, and I've never been a friend of artificially generated oxygen. Not all Hives have a garden, but mine do.”

“Wow. It's beautiful, Todd. Why have I never found them beforehand?” John asked, stopping before a bush to let his fingers glide over the green leaves and red petals of its blossoms.

“You were never looking for a garden when you were on board, John. Apart from that, our gardens are located in the center of the Hive, deep in its belly, and they are secured to protect them.”

“Hmm, I see. Thank you for bringing me here and showing me your garden, Todd.” John smiled at the Wraith, and Todd smiled back with a tilt of his head.

“You're welcome, John.”

For a while they strolled along the paths between the bushes and small meadows without speaking, and John gathered all of his courage before he turned to face the Wraith again who'd somehow become the center of his world without him realizing it before it had been too late to ever run away from him again.

“I'm sorry, Todd.” he said, hoping that Todd wouldn't ask him what he was actually sorry for – which the Wraith of course did nonetheless.

“For what, John?”

John had never been good at talking about his feelings, but he knew that Todd deserved the answer, and for the first time in his life he actually didn't want to hide behind his usual facade any longer, but be honest to the one being that had given him so many more second chances than he'd actually deserved.

“For everything. For treating you the way I did. For always threatening that I'd kill you – even though we both knew that I could never do that. For making you fly your Hive all alone when you were crazy with pain and could hardly keep yourself steady on your feet. For not really thanking you afterwards. For never wanting to get to know you better because I was too afraid to face the truth about you and your race – the truth which would have meant that I couldn't go on with telling myself that Wraith were just ugly beasts that need to be erased from the galaxy at all costs.”

“You know that you have been forgiven for all of this a long time ago, John. Besides, you did what you had to do to keep your own people safe. You're a soldier, and I would never hold against you that the safety of your people always comes first for you. You wouldn't be the man I respect and value otherwise. You made me fly the Hive because there was no other way to save all of us, and you threatened me because you didn't know whether or not you could trust me with the safety of your people. Trust needs to be earned through actions, I am someone who must know that.”

“You'd already proven your trustworthiness when you gave me back my life on that planet, I just didn't want to see that, I guess.”

“Oh, you did, John. You'd come to trust me with your life right after that day. But your people were a different kind of matter, and it was the same for me. I trusted you with my life as well, but I could never really trust you with my crew until now.”

John stopped abruptly, surprised because he'd never seen it that way. But he had to admit that Todd was right with what he'd said. John had never feared for his own life when it'd come to Todd after their escape from Kolya's bunker, but he'd never felt the same way when it came to Atlantis and his friends and teammates. This had only changed when Todd had betrayed his former crew to help him rescue Earth from the Super-Hive, and even then John had still hesitated. It must have been the same for the Wraith, and John could hardly imagine what it must have meant for Todd to watch John kill so many of his kin without even blinking.

Todd almost bumped into him, only his quick reaction time saving them from a crash. They were standing so close to each other all of a sudden, so close that John could smell Todd's unique scent, musky and alien, but not unpleasant, quite the opposite. He could see the lines on his face, lines the millennia had edged into Todd's alien male and yet so handsome and fascinating features.

They gazed at each other, hazel-green human eyes meeting golden Wraith eyes, and John felt the overwhelming urge to bury his hands in the silken strands of Todd's tousled silvery mane and pull his head down until there would be no space left between them.

He stepped back, irritated about the dangerous path his thoughts had taken. Todd remained motionless, but the strange hunger was back in his eyes, unguarded and clear to see this time, the Wraith making no effort to hide it from the human he was regarding like a predator would watch the prey he'd just cornered.

John swallowed, taking another step back to bring some distance between them. “Tell me, Todd, why have you always been coming back to me, and this although you didn't trust me with your brethren – and after all I'd done and said to you?”

“You already know the answer to this question, John Sheppard. You've known it for a very long time. You've just never been ready to face it so far.”

John dropped his gaze, unable to stand Todd's intense scrutiny any longer. “I'm not sure that I'll ever be ready to face it,” he murmured, admitting that he indeed knew the answer to his question without actually saying it out loud.

“One day you won't have any other choice than to finally face it,” Todd gave back, his voice even and controlled although John could feel the heat of his hunger radiating from him and seeping through his own clothes. Todd's ability to control himself and his emotions was indeed astonishing, and right now, John was utterly grateful for it, too.

“I guess so,” he sighed, looking back up at Todd's face again at last. The Wraith regarded him thoughtfully, his head tilted in curiosity.

“Tell me, Sheppard, is it the Wraith part that's scaring you so much – or rather the male part of me? I've done some research about your culture and taboos, and this is something I've been thinking about for some time.”

John's cheeks were starting to burn again, and he shrugged his shoulders helplessly and with a sheepish crooked smile. “Both parts actually, but the male part perhaps even more. I've been running from my true self and my real feelings for so long that I'd almost forgotten who I really am. You were the one making me rediscover my true self again, and it's still hard and nothing I've ever asked for.”

Todd's face softened. “I understand that, John. Plus, I know how hard it can be to overcome cultural boundaries and taboos that have been established centuries ago and which are still lasting, even after they've been changed by law. You're the fragiler one of the two of us, and I won't rush you, John, I promise you. You'll be the one setting up the pace in our relationship, but you must know that it's difficult for me to keep my distance from the one who's my destined Animatus.”

“Your destined Animatus? What do you mean with that?” John's heart was hammering in his chest, and he knew that it wasn't fear which made it beat so fast that he could feel it in his throat and every cell of his body. He was on high alert, ready to either fight or run as fast as he could the very next second, but he willed himself to keep his ground and stay where he was, standing on a small path in the middle of one of the most beautiful gardens he'd ever strolled through and facing the creature that had changed his life forever.

“Wraith have relationships and sometimes just love affairs with other Wraith or even with humans just like any other person, John. We appreciate beauty and art, we have a rich culture, a strong sex drive and deep emotions, even more so because of our strong telepathic bond with our Hive brothers. Queens are taking several male Wraith into their beds in order to grant the variety of genes when they procreate, but we only truly mate once or perhaps twice in our lives, forming an unbreakable bond with the one we love that will last longer than death, and some of us will never truly mate regardless of how many centuries and millennia they'll live because they never found their significant other and kindred spirit, the one being their soul will recognize as her true mate right at first sight.

These bonded mates will be Animatii for as long as fate allows them to walk the path of life together, and my soul has recognized you as my destined Animatus when we met in Kolya's bunker. The best explanation or translation for Animatus would be _'mirror of his/her soul',_ because that's actually what it feels like when I look at you, John – as if I'd look into a mirror and see my true self reflected there. I needed a rather long time to understand what had happened to me after our first encounter because I'd given up the hope that I would ever find my true Animatus a long time ago as long as I'd already lived without finding my real mate. At first I didn't know why I was always experiencing physical pain when we were apart – just as though an actual part of me was missing, and when I finally did, I fought against it just like you did. I promise you that I will continue to be patient and give you the time you need to accept our bond, but I'm very sorry, I will not give up on you or let you walk away from me again, John, not anymore. I have waited too long for you to let that happen again.”

“Oh, wow.” John badly wanted to sit down somewhere because his knees felt like jelly, and his mind was spinning and blurring his vision. He'd known it, he'd felt the same whenever he'd watched Todd stepping through the wormhole to leave him, but he'd found desperate excuses for the sharp pain in his chest and his mind that had always cut through him then, excuses and explanations for his overwhelming urge to run after Todd and beg him to come back to him and stay.

“Is it because you fed on me? Because you gave me the Gift of Life?” he croaked out, needing to understand why fate had chosen them to be mates, to be Animatii like Todd had called it.

“No, John. I fed on you because I was starving and insane after ten years of torture and excruciating pain, and because Kolya forced me to feed on you. It's one of the things I've done in my life that I regret deeply and which I'll never forgive myself for, because I know the pain you felt when I fed on you. It's the same pain I was feeling because of the all-consuming hunger that was raging in my body like blazing fire. I gave you the Gift of Life because you'd saved not only my life, but also my sanity, and my humanity - even though most humans would say that Wraith don't have it and will never know what the word humanity actually means.

I gave you the Gift of Life because we had a deal and I always at least try to keep the promises I've given to someone. I gave back to you what I'd taken because I couldn't stand the thought of losing you, going on with my life while you were dead and without having you in it, but I didn't know why I felt this way when I restored your life all this time ago.

The Gift of Life strengthened the bond that had already formed between us in the bunker – and in some way me feeding on you did that, too – but becoming Animatii cannot be forced or initiated through the Gift of Life when your soul doesn't recognize the person you're gifting with life as her soul mirror.”

“So there's really no escape from this soul-mirror-Animatii thing, is it?” John asked weakly, and Todd shook his head.

“No, there's no escape from it, John.”

“What do you expect from me now? What do I have to do?” His mind was still spinning, but there was also a feeling like coming home spreading from his heart into his body, a feeling of peace and confidence he'd never experienced before this memorable day.

“Nothing, John. All I ask from you is that you'll think about what I told you, and that you'll be willing to spend the next weeks on board my Hive and really get to know us without letting your understandable prejudices and fears rule and cloud your judgment. Do you think that you can do that?”

John's knees bucked with relief, and the smile he offered the Wraith was genuine. “I can do that, Todd, and I promise you that I will keep my eyes and my ears open. I'll have to think about your words for some time, but I actually don't feel as scared and deterred as I'd have felt before our return to Pegasus, that's all I can offer you at the moment, I'm sorry.”

“It's more than I expected, John, and it'll be enough for the time being. Shall we leave the garden, then? It's already past lunch-time, and you wanted to see our recreation areas and what we're doing when we're off duty.”

John's stomach rumbled loudly at the mentioning of food, and John nodded eagerly. “Lunch actually sounds great, talks about feelings always make me feel hungry. Do Wraith actually know how to have some stupid fun when they're not standing before a console or hunting poor humans with grim faces?” he joked, grabbing Todd's arm to pull him along the path and towards the exit without really paying attention to what he was doing. He only stopped and blushed when Todd pulled his arm out of his grip to wrap it around his shoulders in a companionable manner, but then he just shrugged with one of his crooked grins.

“I should better start getting used to touching you, shouldn't I?” he asked, and this time the hunger making Todd's eyes glow in a dark orange-golden color didn't scare him but let warmth bloom in his belly instead.

“Yes, you should, Sheppard. Wraith are passionate and territorial beings, and they're not known for letting their quarry slip through their fingers once they have caught it again.”

“I'll keep that in mind, Wraith,” John said, “you know that the way to a man's heart goes through his stomach, so feed me and maybe I'll let you court me.”

“Yes, I remember Dr. McKay telling me the same, Sheppard. He's apparently much more attentive and a whole lot wiser than he appears to be,” Todd countered, and their laughter was still audible in garden hall when they'd left it, a Wraith and his human Animatus who'd been brought together by fate and who could change an entire galaxy if they only believed in themselves and the power of love and trust enough.


	8. Danilo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Todd go on with their sightseeing tour, and when Todd is called back to his duties because of a malfunction of the hyper drive, John finds himself some other pleasant company and learns how Wraith are spending their time when they're off duty.  
> When it's time for dinner and Todd is still busied with the repairs, his third-in-command joins him again, finally getting his own special name from John...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mused a long time about a good name for Todd's third-in-command, and John is not the one to search the database for proper ancient names that would be appropriate for such ancient beings. that's simply not his way. I figured that he would choose a name that has a personal meaning to him, and as I've always liked the name Danilo because of the Darkover books from Marion Zimmer Bradley, where a young man with the name Danilo is one of the main characters and has a special telepathic gift, I thought this name to be perfect for my special Wraith. <33
> 
> There's some more UST in this chapter, and I also had a lot of fun writing the scene where John learns more about how Wraith spend their free time, and I hope that you'll enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. :-)

Lunch had been a pleasant matter, much more pleasant than John had feared it to be after Todd's earthshaking revelation that he considered them to be _Animatii –_ some kind of soulmates if John had understood everything the Wraith had told him correctly.

“If your third is as good as your communication officer as he is as a cook, then you've definitely hit the jackpot with him,” he said when he pushed his plate aside to rub his full belly contentedly, and Todd bared his teeth to a very smug wolfish grin.

“He is, Sheppard. His skills have proven to be very useful on several important occasions already, and I am sure that it will continue to be so in the future. He'll be flattered to hear that you liked this special recipe I found in your database, and which he's tried out for the first time today. There are a few more ones I want him to spoil you with, I shall hope that they will be as much to your liking as this one.”

The thought of Todd secretly checking Atlantis' database for special recipes from Earth, hiding somewhere in the dark and looking furtively around like a thief in the night was as hilarious as it was disturbing, and John shook his head to get the image out of his mind again.

“You're full of surprises, Todd,” he said, leaving the private office together with the tall Wraith to walk along the corridor to next the transporter again. “Where are we going now?” he asked, and Todd made a vague gesture with his hand.

“You wanted to see what Wraith are doing when they're off duty, John. You've already seen our gardens, and my crew is usually allowed to spend time there and stroll around whenever they want to, but I gave the order today that they would not to pay them a visit as long as we were there. I'd thought that you might appreciate some privacy for our special talk in there.” Todd gazed meaningfully at him from over his shoulder, and John's lips twitched into a sheepish smile.

“You'd thought right, thank you. Okay, I'm curious about the other places where your crew can relax and hang out together. As I'd never really thought that Wraith would ever be off duty in the first place before yesterday, I have to admit that I can't really imagine you doing silly things just for fun.”

“Your opinion about us must actually have been pretty low, Sheppard. It'll be my pleasure to enlighten you and change the bad view you've had on us.”

John decided that it'd be wiser not to answer to that, and he stepped into the transporter avoiding Todd's appraising glance. The Wraith luckily possessed enough sensitivity to leave him alone for a while and not tease him, for which John was truly grateful. He knew that he'd let his prejudices rule his actions and make his judgments for him, and he felt bad enough about that even without Todd twisting the knife in the wound.

Another long corridor unfolded before them when they left the elevator again, and John was really grateful for Todd's consideration to illuminate the places where he took him more than they were usually illuminated, the impression of eeriness and hostile gloom fading due to the brighter light at least a little bit.

“Here's our public library.” Todd said when they reached a large door and it whooshed to the side with a quiet hiss when he pressed his palm against the panel on the wall next to it. The room behind the door was more a hall than a room, and John gazed around fascinated.

The ceiling of the hall was at least six meters high above the ground, and there were two galleries perhaps two and four meters above the floor that circled the whole room, large enough for small niches that contained small tables and one or two chairs to grant the occupants their privacy. Tall bookshelves were attached to the wall to the left side, reaching to the high ceiling and only separated by the galleries. John had never seen so many books in one place, but Wraith were immortal beings and didn't need much sleep when they were freshly fed, so they had much more time to indulge themselves in reading than humans would ever have.

More tables with chairs were spread across the hall, some of them equipped with computer consoles, others with things that looked like board games to John. Several Wraith were currently using the library to pass their free time and enjoy a game or read a book. The dark-haired colonel looked around, acutely aware of Todd's presence. The Commander was standing close to him, shielding his back, and his musky scent was surrounding John like a protective bubble.

_'Mine.'_

Was the low growl really there, or rather just his mind playing tricks on him after what Todd had said in the garden? John couldn't be sure, but he felt the strong urge to lean back against the Wraith and seek shelter in his embrace to leave no doubt about who he belonged to.

He flinched at his own thoughts and took a step forward instead, and Todd's soft and amused chuckle was definitely real and audible in the library, adding to the quiet noise of the Hive's humming in his mind and the murmur of the other Wraith in the hall.

“They're ignoring us – you. Shouldn't they acknowledge the arrival of their Commander in some way?” he asked to distract himself from his wish to snuggle into Todd's arms, and cool air brushed over his cheek when the Wraith nodded his head.

“They have, Sheppard, telepathically. Things are handled differently on other Hives, but my crew don't need to be standing at attention when they're off duty and I am crossing their way or joining them in the library, the garden or one of the training areas. Our hierarchy is different from what you're used to on Earth, and I am not a queen, so I'm not their absolutist ruler and they don't need to pay their respects to me at each and every opportunity.”

“Thank God you're not a queen,” John murmured, “I don't think that I'd be standing here then, spending three weeks on your Hive if you were.”

“So the male part of me is not quite as scary and deterring as I thought that it was for you, Sheppard. I'm glad to hear that because I've never regretted that I'm not a queen either.”

“We're on the same page here, Todd.” John admitted, and he felt another blush creeping into his cheeks, but he turned his head to grin at Todd before he returned his attention back to their surroundings.

“True devotion and respect can only be earned, not demanded,” the colonel mused aloud, remembering how many times he'd had to obey offending and downright idiotic orders in the past, just because there had been a superior who'd thought that true authority, respect and devotion simply came with promotion and rank and didn't need to be earned and justified through their own actions.

“That's right, Sheppard.”

“I've spent only one day on board your flagship so far, but I can already see that you're doing a great job at that. Your crew would follow you to hell and back, wouldn't they?”

“Yes, they would. And they know that I don't take their loyalty for granted. Things have changed among my kin since the destruction of the Super-Hive, and since the numbers of queens have become so limited, and something like this mutiny won't ever happen again on board my Hives, I can assure you that. But I've never been one of the Commanders who feel the need to control their crew-members every single minute of the day, and what they're doing in their free time is their own business as long as it doesn't disturb or affect the others seriously. Besides, I'm off duty when I come here as well, and my crew has to respect that too.”

“Are you ever really off duty, Todd? I thought that it was more like 'once a Commander, always a Commander'. That's what happens to me every single damn time I try to take a day off at least.” John drawled, and Todd chuckled.

“Yes, I know what you mean. But yes, sometimes I'll get the chance to enjoy a book or take a stroll in the gardens without being disturbed.”

“You're luckier than I am, then.” John looked around, frowning when he became fully aware of the quiet murmur, which he'd already noticed earlier when they had entered the library, but not really paid attention to.

“They're talking to each other, aloud, I mean.”

“Of course they're talking, John.”

“But you're telepaths, I thought that you wouldn't use this way of communication when you're among your own kin,” John objected. He'd really thought that Wraith were only talking out loud when humans were around to be polite, and that they would actually prefer mind-to-mind talks.

“Wraith appreciate their privacy like everyone else, John. Our Hive-mind connects us mentally, that's correct, but it's more like a soothing background noise, and we can separate our private thoughts from those that are directed at the Hive and our brethren to make sure that everything will work smoothly. Some of us like well-trained high-ranking officers are better at shielding their thoughts from their brethren than others, and drones can't shield their thoughts from other Wraith at all.

That's why my former infamous second could deceive me and start his mutiny in the first place. It happened soon after the incident with the retro-virus, when I almost died and was still recovering from my sickness and the treatment with the Iratus-queen. If things had been different, he wouldn't have gotten the chance to rebel against me, but he took advantage of that, and I must say that he was good at picking those who were ruthless enough and had never felt any kind of remorse or guilt about having to kill intelligent and sentient beings in order to survive themselves anyway.”

Todd's explanation didn't hold any kind of reproach, but John pulled a face when he was reminded of these terrible events again, and he did feel remorse that Todd had used the retro-virus on himself and his crew to prove himself to John, and this without any support from Carson, the creator of it, or at least Dr. Keller before it had been too late.

“So you prefer spoken words instead of just exchanging thoughts, even if no non-telepaths are around, that's something new to me.”

“Yes, we do. We're only allowing this deep and intimate contact with other Wraith who are really close to us, like best friends, lovers – or our Animatii of course. Sometimes with first-grade relatives as well, like siblings born by the same queen, or in a situation of lethal danger when there's no other way to get out of it. Queens can initiate this kind of contact without the consent of the other participant as you know, and some experienced and trained male Wraith with strong telepathic abilities can do that too, so it's even more important for us to be respected as individuals who are free to decide with whom they want to meld their minds fully and without any barrier.”

“You could do that.”

“Yes, John. But I've never done that except for the times when my life was in acute danger, like back then in Kolya's prison ten years ago when he caught me. The survival instinct is the most powerful instinct that exists as you surely know, so it'll take over each time you'll find yourself in a life-threatening situation, and you'll do everything that's necessary to survive. I'm no exception from this rule and acted on this instinct and did things I at least partly truly regret in retrospective.”

John turned around to look at Todd, reaching out to touch his arm. “I'd never judge you for that, Todd,” he said quietly, “and I didn't want to imply with my question that I'm thinking that you'd force yourself into the mind of another person without their consent just because you can do that and for your own pleasure. I'm just trying to get to know you better and find out what your skills are. You've proven to me that you're honorable, trustworthy and not cruel by nature more than once, and you're actually one of the most honorable and caring people I've ever met – even though I didn't want to see that for far too long.”

Todd didn't respond, but he inclined his head, and his stiff posture relaxed gradually. John realized that there was still a long way to go for them until both of them would finally have overcome all of the hurt and mistrust from the past, but a start was at least made. He offered the Wraith a genuine smile, and Todd returned it, his eyes glowing in a beautiful dark gold.

John instinctively stepped closer to him, and Todd did the same, but then he stiffened again all of a sudden, and the colonel could see that he was listening inwardly.

“I'm sorry, John, but there is something I have to take care of instantly, something with our hyper drive. Hives that have gone without a queen for a long time sometimes develop problems and rather severe malfunctions, and I need to see to the necessary repairs myself and supervise them personally. Do you want to return to your quarters for a while? I can't take you with me because of the radiation.”

John regretted the interruption, but something like this was to be expected, and he was reasonable enough to understand that Todd didn't want to hide something from him but had spoken the truth, and that there would always be things on board a Hive he couldn't participate in because of his human nature.

“I'd actually like to stay here for a while if you don't mind,” he said, “I need to get used to being among your crew without you sooner rather than later anyway, and the library would be a good place to start with that, wouldn't it?”

“Of course, John. You're my cherished guest, you're allowed to move freely and go wherever you want to go without putting yourself in danger, so the only parts of my Hive forbidden for you are those with the high radiation levels. I could undo possible damage with the Gift of Life, but I must admit that I'd rather not do that and save this special gift for other, more intimate occasions, John Sheppard.”

Todd's voice had dropped to a low and seductive purr at the end of his statement, and John felt a shiver run down on his spine, a shiver that was definitely one of pleasure and anticipation.

“I'll be good and not go there, Todd, I promise. At least not on purpose,” he said, his voice husky and his cheeks burning once again. The Wraith looked at him, displaying his hunger openly on his face for a short precious moment before he schooled his features back into a mask of calm and professionalism.

“I'll see you later then, Sheppard. My third will pick you up here for dinner in case that the repairs will take longer than expected.” Todd actually looked hesitant to leave him alone, and John gave him a little push.

“Just go, Todd. I'm a big boy who can take care of himself, and your Hive obviously needs you. It's dependent on your care, and it seems to be in pain as far as I can tell, because the humming sounds different in my mind.”

“It is, John.” Todd agreed, his joy about John's ability to read his Hive so well after this short time sparkling in his eyes.

“What are you waiting for, then?” John asked, and Todd let out a sigh and nodded his head, turning around on his heels to stride to the exit with long steps and his coat swinging around his legs. He was an impressive sight, his motions controlled but speaking of suppressed power and virility, and another shiver wrecked John as he watched the Wraith walk away from him.

How would it be to share his bed with Todd? Would the Wraith be patient or demanding? Gentle or rough? These were questions John had never allowed himself to ask them, but he couldn't ignore them any longer, not after all that had happened since their first so remarkable encounter in Kolya's bunker, and John also didn't want to suppress them any longer.

He wanted to ask them, and he wanted to finally get to know the answers to them, something that would probably soon happen, and also something John was suddenly very much looking forward to.

*~*~*

“Colonel Sheppard, would you like to join us?”

John had been strolling around in the library for some time, blind and deaf for anything else because of the inner turmoil of his thoughts and the prospect of soon coming much closer to Todd than he'd ever been close to him beforehand.

Hearing someone calling his name so unexpectedly made him flinch and turn around startled to see who was asking for his attention. Todd had assured him that his crew didn't consider him to be food, but somehow John had simply assumed that the other Wraith weren't really keen to spend time with him either, at least none of them except for Todd's third, who didn't really have much choice in this matter.

“Uhm, pardon me?” he asked back, cautiously stepping closer to the table near the bookshelves where two Wraith were sitting with a board game on the table between them.

“Would you like to join us, Colonel Sheppard?” The unknown Wraith who'd addressed him repeated his offer, “maybe you'd be interested in learning how to play some of our games?”

“Oh yes, that would actually be nice.” John took a vacant chair from one of the other tables to join the two players on theirs, sitting down on it and noticing how the light increased in their area instantly to make it easier for him. The two Wraith who were probably responsible for this small courtesy were looking at him, and their faces showed friendly and curious expressions, the usual hostility John knew from his former encounters with Wraith not palpable.

He still felt nervous as hell without Todd or the third's calming presence, but he was determined to get through this without making a complete fool of himself and cause a diplomatic incident. Todd was busied with the repairs of his Hive at the moment, and his third had surely better things to do other than babysit him all of the time as well.

The humming in his head was still different from how it had been, so the Hive must still be malfunctioning and needing its Commander's full attention, and John was a big guy and could deal with two non-hostile Wraith without his help.

“What kind of game is it?” he asked when he looked down onto the board, thinking that the pattern of the different small square and round fields painted on the top of it looked a little bit like chess. The tokens were shaped like small pyramids, some of them smaller than the others, and they had different colors, black, silver and green. Two of the playing pieces were the tallest ones and of a violet color, and John assumed that they represented Wraith queens.

“It's a game of strategy, Colonel Sheppard. The green tokens are the resources the two opponents are trying to claim as their own by moving their figures in the best and quickest way from one territory to the other.” The other Wraith started to explain, and John rather not wanted to think more closely about what kind of 'resources' the opponents were fighting about. It was logical that Wraith would come up with games that were based on their own culture and way of life, and John wanted to learn more about them, so he swallowed the question he'd wanted to ask down again and mused about another, less dangerous and judging, instead.

“Do I have to imagine this as two Hives that are flying through the galaxy and trying to reach a planet with... resources... before the other Hive will get there? We have a similar game on Earth, it's called 'chess'. I used to play it with McKay sometimes, and he's really good at it.”

The two Wraith looked pleased and nodded their heads in perfect unison. They seemed to be really close, and John got the impression that they might be Animatii, or at least lovers or really close friends. They were both handsome and looking as if they were still rather young for Wraith, maybe he could ask them about this confusing soul-mirror-Animatii-thing when he knew them better one day.

“That's correct, Colonel Sheppard,” the Wraith with the hair falling untamed over his back in silver waves said, while the other with the neat ponytail started to put the tokens onto the board. Neither of them wore a tattoo on the face, and John made a mental note to himself to ask Todd or his communication officer about that too. Maybe these tattoos had to be earned or were a sign of rank or something like that, and John felt almost giddy that he was finally allowed to ask all those nosy questions without being chided for them in return.

“I see. Sounds interesting, I'd like to learn how to play it,” he said, looking back and forth between the two Wraith. “How do you do the cheating thing, by the way? I want to be prepared for that.”

“The cheating thing, Colonel?” the first Wraith asked, confusion written all over his face, and John shrugged his shoulders with a crooked grin.

“Yeah, well, you can read minds. How will you be able to cheat during a game with the other one being to pick up on that right away? I hardly ever stand a chance against McKay when we're playing chess, so I'll have to try my luck with a little cheating, distracting him with other things so he won't pay too much attention to what I'm doing with my tokens, you know?” he offered with another boyish smile, and to his utter surprise, the two Wraith grinned back at him.

“The same way, actually, Colonel. It's more difficult when someone can pick up on your intention to cheat rather easily, but sometimes it's working – just like in real life when two Hives are battling over planets and resources. There's always some 'cheating' involved as well.”

“I'm glad that Wraith are not so different from humans here,” John said, “didn't know that you guys are having a sense for humor beforehand either, but I'm glad that you do. Okay, let's try it, I'm all in for that. But don't cheat, I'm just a poor head-blind human and not familiar with this game!” he demanded, finding two Wraith grinning wolfishly at him.

“But where would be the fun if we didn't, Colonel Sheppard?” they asked like one single person again, and John got the strong impression that board games wouldn't be the only things he'd be taught today, but for the first time since he'd met this fascinating race years ago he was actually totally okay with that.

*~*~*  
  


“I'm sorry, Colonel Shep... John, but the Commander is still busied with the repairs of the hyper drive. The malfunction is worse than it appeared to be at first sight. We're on our way to our worshiper colony, and we'll need the hyper drive back online as soon as possible.”

Todd's third had picked John up for dinner a couple of hours later, and John had said goodbye to his new Wraith friends with a cheerful smile. Playing board games with them had been a lot of fun, and the two of them had been nice and not cheated on him, but proven themselves to be patient and very skilled teachers, showing him two other board games when John had managed to win the first one two times in a row, his flying skills actually helping him with finding the quickest way to the resources rather easily as he'd simply transferred his knowledge and experiences to the board game.

“Needn't you be there as well and help him?” John asked on their way back to his quarters, and he felt pleasantly tired and was actually almost sad that the first real day of his special vacations was almost over.

“I pride myself on being a good communication officer, John, but it's far better that I'll leave the repairs of a hyper drive in much more capable hands, believe me,” Todd's third stated with dry mockery and self-irony, and John pursed his lips thoughtfully.

“You're a good cook too. Hmm, okay, I think that I've always assumed that Wraith are more or less all rounders, well except for your drones, of course. It's actually logical that you're not, but Todd has been my role model here, and I think there's nothing he's not capable of...” he mused, and Todd's third nodded his head.

“The Commander is for sure one of the most skilled and capable Wraith that have ever existed. He has lived for more than ten thousand years and fought against the Ancients - which most of us only know by their name but have never met them personally - and he has gained experience and knowledge to an extent that is more than astonishing even for Wraith. His mind doesn't seem to have any real limit, thinking in ways others would never come up with and finding solutions for problems that seem to be insoluble. He's extraordinary in every possible way, John, and he's the exception, not the rule you should judge our abilities by.”

His respect and admiration – even adoration - for his superior was audible in his voice, his pride that he belonged to Todd's crew and was allowed to serve him as his faithful officer so clearly visible on his face that John suddenly felt a lump in his throat. A lump of emotion at the realization of his own pride about being so important to this so very special being, and which he'd always suppressed vigorously until today because he'd always made the mistake of reducing Todd to just being 'Wraith' instead of acknowledging him as the skilled, intelligent, kind and outstanding individual he actually was.

“Yes, he's truly special and unique,” he murmured, smiling at his babysitter to assure him that he recognized his own uniqueness just as much.

There was already a drone waiting with a tray in the corridor before his quarters, but John didn't mind it, and his stomach rumbled eagerly when the smell of another delicious recipe filled his nose. The drone didn't radiate any kind of hostility, and it... he... bowed his head before John and his superior officer silently, handing the tray over to Todd's third while John opened the door to his quarters.

A few minutes later they were sitting at his dining table like they'd sat there the previous evening, and John closed his eyes in pure bliss with a happy sigh when he took the first bite of the steak his personal cook had prepared for him.

“If you'll ever be looking for a new job, please let me know, Atlantis could really do with a new cook as skilled as you are!” he praised his babysitter, trying to remember the last time he'd gotten such crispy fried potatoes to eat.

“I'll let you know, John,” the Wraith promised him with a small smile, and the colonel was pleased to see that he filled a plate for himself with salad and potatoes as well, ignoring only the meat.

“So how has your sightseeing tour been, John? Did you enjoy it?”

“Oh yes, much more than I'd thought it possible,” John admitted after stuffing more potatoes and steak into his mouth. He was hungry like a wolf, and his dinner was really the best dinner he'd had in ages, even more as he could enjoy it without having to fear that his radio would beep at any second and call him back to another emergency or away mission.

The next half an hour he re-told his companion his adventures from his sightseeing tour, and the Wraith listened to him with the kind of attention he never got from any of his friends, not even his teammates. John hadn't been aware until now how much he'd missed it to have someone really listening to him, and he almost forgot his food about it.

“I'm glad that you had such a pleasant day, John,” Todd's officer said when he was finished, “and that you got to see so many places today. There are some places left we can visit tomorrow, our training areas for example. You will also get the chance to talk to our worshipers when we'll reach their world, and you'll be allowed to ask them all the questions you want to ask without having to fear that we will keep you from doing so.”

“I'll be looking forward to that,” John said, musing whether or not he should ask the Wraith about the still so mysterious and somehow scary Animatii-soul-mirror-thing, but then he decided against it. He'd been musing about a perfect name for his new friend this morning when he'd woken up, and he was eager to share the name he'd come up with and see the Wraith's reaction to it.

“I've been thinking about a name for you,” he started with his heart beating in his throat, and the Wraith inclined his head, sitting up a little bit straighter, just as though he'd been waiting for John to tell him his new name, but being too polite to ask him about it.

“You have, John?”

“Yes, I did. I'm coming from a... let us say wealthy... family, and I've never gotten along with my father really well. It's the same with my brother Dave, which I actually regret, but we're simply too different. I've never been interested in joining my father's business and company – opposite to my brother – all I ever wanted to do was fly and join the military. I was sent to a school where I stayed all of the time except for the summer vacations, and when I had to return to my father's estate during the summer months, I was unhappy and wished to go back to school with all my heart.”

John swallowed when the memories of his youth threatened to overwhelm him, and he was grateful for the calming presence of his companion, who listened to him attentively but didn't push him, just waiting patiently until he was ready to go on with his story.

“There was a teacher in this school, a kind man who was the complete opposite to my father. He was patient and understanding where my father was impatient and mocking, encouraging me to explore my own personal preferences and interests whereas my father would always laugh at me for my stupid wishes and tell me that he knew better what's good for me than I'd ever know it myself. This teacher was always there when I got myself into trouble again because of my frustration, and he never grew tired of telling me that I should believe in myself and be proud of myself and what I'd already achieved. He was much more like a father to me than my own father ever was, or maybe like some kind of older brother as he was still rather young himself, at his first job after his studies in that school. I owe him so much, and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. You're actually reminding me pretty much of him, as he had light-blond hair, wearing it long and tied back to a ponytail, and he had the same ability to listen to someone as if they were the only person in the world like you.”

John went silent again, and Todd's third tilted his head to a small bow and smiled at John. “It's good that you had him to help you through the difficult time of adolescence, John. It's a difficult time for us Wraith just as much as it is for humans, and we'd be lost without our own kind and patient teachers. I still remember my own struggles and fears from that age, and it must have been so hard for you that your own father didn't want to accept you the way you are, but tried to shape you into someone you could never be just to see his own wishes fulfilled.”

“That's exactly how it has always been with him,” John murmured, lost in his memories, but then he drew in a deep breath and lifted his chin up.

“The name of my teacher - his birth name - I mean, was Danilo. It's the name that comes into my mind when I'm thinking of you, and it has a very special and positive meaning to me, so I want to ask you if you could accept this name for yourself and answer to it without feeling offended?”

The Wraith looked at him, and John could see the answer in his eyes before his new friend opened his mouth to give it to him, a happy smile spreading across his own features when he realized that he'd done it right with a Wraith's name this time. Well, he'd done it right with Todd's name too, but it was not comparable to this situation at all and therefore didn't really count here.

“You honor me, John, and I happily accept the beautiful name you've chosen for me. From today on I'll be Danilo, not only for you, but for every human and also some of my brethren, and I'll wear my name with pride.”

John's mouth hurt from grinning so broadly, and he stretched out his right hand to offer it to his friend.

“Hi Danilo,” he said, still smiling stupidly happily, “I'm John, and I'm pleased to meet you.”

Danilo took the proffered hand with a genuine smile of his own, and John knew that he'd won a friend for life, a Wraith and a human who'd thought that they had to be lethal enemies just months ago now united in deep unwavering friendship for the rest of their lives, no matter how long this would actually be.


	9. Do Wraith dream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a weird dream in the night, and he feels a little bit embarrassed when he joins Todd for breakfast the next morning. Lorne informs him that everything is going smoothly in Atlantis, and after his talk with his XO, he learns more about the reason why Todd wanted to take him to his worshiper colony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter actually wasn't planned this way, but Todd and John had other plans, and I must admit that I like the outcome. I hope you'll like it too, please let me know if you did!! <33

_Pain._

_Excruciating pain._

_He wanted to scream, but no sound came out of his mouth, and he couldn't move either, the unbearable pain raging in every cell of his body like blazing fire and immobilizing him much more effectively than any chains could have done that._

_He wanted this to end, he wanted to die so the pain would finally stop torturing him so much, but one small corner in his mind fought against the welcome blackness that wanted to swallow him – the smooth velvety darkness in which he wanted to let himself fall so he wouldn't feel the terrible pain anymore._

_He didn't know how long the pain had already lasted, eating him alive and driving him insane, and he was drifting in an ocean, an endless and dark sea of pain and hopelessness. The seconds stretched to minutes, the minutes to days, to weeks and months, and finally to years. The years blurred together, and eternity got an entirely different meaning to him while the pain was raging unrestrained in his tortured body._

_His mind clouded with madness more and more each day, and sometimes he couldn't even remember who he was any longer, who he'd once had been. All he remembered was pain and fire, hunger and weakness, more pain and more fire._

_More blackness, more torture, more pain, an endless array of them that never ended, and his silent screams of agony echoed in his hurting mind, to fill the icy-cold emptiness where once had been soft whisper and warmth._

_The sudden flash of bright light was unexpected, intruding on his private hell of black and torture and terrible pain, and with the light came the memories and the hope. The light was hardly more than the small yellow flame of a single candle, but it was like a supernova after the years of black and agony, enough to chase the darkness away, the madness._

_The fire was still raging and burning in every fiber of his being, but there was suddenly something smooth and cool, so delicious and wonderful, feeling like fresh and cold water from a well in the middle of an endless hot and dry desert. It was flowing into his tortured body, quenching the fire and filling him with new strength. He wanted more, more of it, and he threw his head back and roared, the word 'more, more, more!' falling from his dry and split lips. The pain faded, shrinking to a still vivid but ghostly memory somewhere in the back of his mind, and he gasped, because the pain had been his only companion for so long that he was suddenly afraid to let go of it and live without it._

_The stream of cool and delicious slowly increased, replacing the pain with pleasure that was as exquisite as it was almost as unbearable as the burning pain had been._

_He wanted to scream again, but only a few gasps came out of his mouth this time, and he arched his back, desperate to feel more of this, more pleasure, more pain._

_The blackness was gone, and there was only bright whiteness surrounding him now, so bright that it threatened to blind him. More pleasure, more strength, more power._

_His body writhed and convulsed when the pleasure became too much to bear, making him explode from the inside, the bright and blinding white shattering into a million glittering pieces._

_A voice was growling into his ear, a voice he knew better than his own._

“ _Mine, Shepparrrrrd, mine!” the voice growled, and he tore his eyes open when his body shook with the next explosion, with the next wave of painful pleasure, a familiar face with a star-like tattoo looming right above his own._

_Yellow-golden eyes were staring right into his soul, and he opened his mouth once more, his scream echoing not only in his mind, but also between the trees._

“ _Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!”_

_*~*~*_

John woke up in his bed with a loud gasp, bolting upright into a sitting position, and the bedchamber in his quarters on board Todd's Hive started to spin around him. He gasped again, pressing his hand onto his chest right where his heart was beating so hard and fast as if it wanted to hammer its way out of his chest.

His nostrils flared with his ragged breathing, and he shook his head and blinked several times to clear his dazed mind. When the room finally stopped spinning so fast, he became aware of the dampness in his briefs, and John sank back onto the mattress and covered his face with his left forearm in utter embarrassment.

“Shit, Sheppard, you're not a teenager anymore, really?” he murmured to himself, his chest still heaving with the aftermath of his far too vivid dream.

He added a whispered, “oh, Todd, what you're doing to me?” before he fell silent again, and it took him a rather long time to fall asleep again, this time thankfully without any dreams at all, only the faint memory of the pleasure he'd experienced following him into his slumber.

In another set of quarters, not so far away from him, the golden eyes of a Wraith John knew all too well were staring up at the dark ceiling, and the multi-toned voice of the owner of these eyes was rumbling into the quiet of his own bedroom:

“Aaaaahhhh, Sheppard...”

*~*~*

John was still feeling vaguely embarrassed when he left his quarters a few hours later, after a long and thorough shower and stuffing the now dried but still stained briefs into the deepest corner of his bag. Maybe Hives had something akin to washing machines, and maybe Danilo would be so gracious and polite to let him use them without asking too many questions and taking a far too close look at the evidence of his juvenile dream.

John was not very eager to see Todd any time soon again, not because of their talk about Animatii from the previous day, and the confusion he still felt about that talk, but because he somehow feared that the Wraith would be able to see right through him and know about his weird dream right at first sight.

Trust the cunning Commander to tease him about his dream and his juvenile reaction to it right in front of his officers, and John was really not prepared for that when he came to a halt before Todd's private office to have breakfast with him again.

They hadn't seen each other since Todd had been summoned to see to the hyper drive and its repairs yesterday, and John didn't even know whether or not he'd been able to solve the problems and repair the hyper drive so they could continue their trip to the worshiper colony. He'd been rather tired after his first whole and truly pleasant, but nonetheless long and exhausting holiday, and Danilo had left him early to let him go to bed and find enough rest.

John's mind had still been buzzing with the aftermath of his weird and intensive dream when he'd woken up for a second time, his inner clock telling him that it was already morning and that he should better get up and have breakfast.

So now he was standing before the closed door to Todd's office without even knowing whether or not Todd was actually there and waiting for him – or if he was still trying to fix the damage or busied with something else that demanded his attention. The humming in his head was almost inaudible, but it didn't sound as pained as it had sounded yesterday, so the Hive seemed to be back to normal at least.

The hazel-eyed colonel pressed his palm against the panel, and he almost flinched when Todd's voice sounded through the closed door.

“Come in!”

The door whooshed to the side with a quiet hiss, and John hesitantly stepped over the threshold, steeling himself to face the other participant of his wet dream without giving himself away right at first sight. He swallowed and slowly crossed the room, and a wave of relief was washing over him when he saw that the table was already set up with his breakfast and that he wouldn't have to deal with Danilo or the drones until he'd found his inner balance again.

Todd had been sitting at the table, but he slowly rose to his feet now, and his face was a mask of friendly professionalism when he looked at John – just as though he was as eagerly trying to keep his true emotions to himself as John was doing that after last night.

The Wraith's smile was genuine, though, and he beckoned John to come closer and circled the table to pull the chair for him again.

“Good morning, John. I hope you slept well last night,” he said, and it was clear that he was just making courteous conversation, and not mocking John about his dream in any way. If anything, then the tall Commander looked paler than usual – which would have been hard to tell for anybody else because of his natural greenish-gray skin color – but John had come to know him well enough to tell the difference to his usual color, and his motions were slow and lacking their normal grace as well.

“Thank you, Todd.” John sat down and watched Todd going back to his own chair. The Wraith sat down and reached for the pot with coffee to serve his human guest first and then himself a large cup of coffee too.

Considering Todd's reaction to John's favorite brew the previous day, it spoke volumes of his state.

“Rough night?” the colonel asked sympathetically, forgetting his discomfort and his dream completely as his concern about Todd's well-being pushed his embarrassment aside. The Wraith shrugged his shoulders in a rather human-like gesture.

“The repairs were much more difficult to do than it looked like at first sight, and I'm still struggling with the dose of radiation I got. But it'll fade over the course of day, so please don't worry about it, Sheppard.” He lifted his cup to his mouth and sipped from the hot beverage, pulling a disgusted face but taking more sips nonetheless.

“I hope that the caffeine will work with Wraith physiology as much as it's working with your human nature, Sheppard,” he stated dryly when he put the mug back down again to gaze at Sheppard from over the table.

“We'll find out soon, I guess.” John reached for the bread and the butter, weighing the next words in his mind carefully. He'd normally let these things go unspoken, but after all that Todd had told him about their strange bond, he'd probably better get used to talking about topics he was not really comfortable with.

“If it wasn't for me being on board, you'd have gone to the hall with the cocoons and fed to ease the sickening effects of the radiation, right?”

Todd gazed at him silently for a few seconds, flexing his fingers in an unconscious gesture.

“There haven't been cocoons on board this Hive even before you came on board, John. Wraith need to feed, and yes, humans still have to suffer because of our special needs, but it's one thing to feed on human life-force when we need to do that to avoid starvation, and an entirely different thing to keep humans trapped in cocoons for days, weeks or even months. That's something I simply can't do anymore when our alliance shall truly work out, and I knew that before I decided to contact Atlantis again and took care of that.

All of my sub Commanders agreed not to use their cocoons for such purpose in the future any longer, and you won't find any cocoons filled with humans on board of any of my Hives, John.”

John hadn't expected this, and he stared back at Todd stunned into silence for a moment.

“Wow, thank you, Todd. That's... I actually don't know what to say, but thank you. But... isn't that giving you a big disadvantage compared to other Hives?” he wanted to know. “Especially regarding how many Hives are battling for territories and resources and with the threat of the alternated Hoffanian disease Michael has spread in the whole galaxy?”

“It would, if we were still just striving to walk the old paths. But I had already left these old paths right after our first encounter. I didn't realize it back then, but there's actually no way back for me either, and my sub Commanders have come to the same conclusion and therefore contacted me after my return to Pegasus. So many Hives have lost their queens, John, so many things have changed, we all have to find new ways.”

John nodded thoughtfully. “You're right, Todd. The same goes for Atlantis and for my people.”

He looked up at Todd with a smile, reaching out with his hand to enclose the Wraith's loose fist with his fingers.

“I'd always thought that Atlantis had become my home, and that I would feel being at home as long as I was in the city and together with my friends from our expedition team. But the weeks we spent on Earth with Atlantis opened my eyes about my mistake. Pegasus is my home, my real home. Atlantis is an important part of it, but it's not the only thing making me feel at home. It's this rather small galaxy with everyone living here – which includes your race as well, Todd. It's our home – the home of all of us, and we have to find a way to live together without war.”

Todd looked down at their hands and then intertwined their fingers together. John wasn't quite sure when a Wraith's right hand had stopped being a weapon for him and giving him the creeps by the mere thought of it, but it had, at least when it came to Todd and his crew. It would surely be different with hostile Wraith, but John would deal with that when it came to it.

“We will find a way, John,” the Wraith said, and John actually believed him. They locked eyes again, and when Todd started to stroke the back of his hand with his thumb, he felt a hot shiver run down on his spine, a shiver that reminded him of his dream again. John felt himself blushing, but Todd's smile was soft and not the least mocking when he said:

“Please don't worry about me, John. I was freshly fed when I came to Atlantis for our negotiations, and my temporary discomfort will pass within the next hours. I didn't get enough rest last night to have recovered fully before you came here for breakfast, but I'm fine.”

“I see,” John murmured, swallowing audibly as he forced himself to ask, because he just really needed to know it:

“Do Wraith dream when they sleep?”

The hazel-eyed colonel realized his mistake the second he saw the expression on Todd's face changing into the hungry face of a hunting predator. The Wraith's eyes were glittering in this fascinating dark-golden color again when he looked at John, and he bared his teeth to a hiss when he replied:

“Of course we dream, John Shepparrrrd, why would you think that we don't?”

John's cheeks were burning, and he tried to pull his hand out of Todd's grip, but the tall creature didn't let him, his translucent razor-sharp teeth sparkling in the violet light of his office when his grin turned wolfishly.

“Uhm, I don't know... Do you remember all of your dreams when you wake up again?”

Todd's eyes narrowed, and he inclined his head ever so slightly. John thought that a deer caught in the headlights must feel like he felt right now.

“Not all dreams, Shepparrrrd, but some of them. The important ones.” The damn Wraith literally purred delightedly, his gaze trapping John's and making it impossible for him to look away again. He groaned inwardly when he felt the heat in his face become worse, consoling himself that his stupidity and embarrassment had at least managed to distract Todd from his discomfort after being exposed to radiation for so long.

“Tell me, Shepparrrrd, do humans remember their dreams when they wake up?” Todd countered with a curious question of his own, and the hunger glowing in his eyes was really not to mistake for the hunger Wraith usually felt when they were looking at humans. This hunger was totally different, a hunger that could not be quenched with John offering his life-force to the Wraith. He didn't really know what it was Todd truly wanted from him, but he had the strong suspicion that he would find out about that before the three weeks were over.

“It's the same for us,” he managed to bring out, grateful that his voice didn't sound too squeaky. “We can remember some of our dreams, but not all of them.”

Todd's hungry eyes traveled over his face, down to his lips and then further down on John's body until they reached the part under his waist that was thankfully hidden by the table but reacting forcefully to the intense scrutiny nevertheless and much to John's utter dismay and new embarrassment.

Todd's nostrils flared and he inhaled deeply to taste the air on his tongue, his eyes almost orange now. Of course the damn Wraith didn't need to see his reaction to know about it when he could smell it so easily with his heightened sense of smell.

“The important ones, Shepparrrd?” Todd asked in the same purring voice when he gazed back up into John's eyes again, and he even managed to look totally innocent when he asked that question.

John inhaled a deep breath of his own and smiled back at him.

“Yes, Todd, the important ones. These dreams are actually the only dreams we need to remember, right?”

The Wraith grinned at him and finally let go of his hand to empty his cup and drink the rest of his now cold coffee.

“Indeed, John Sheppard, the important dreams are the only ones we really ought to remember.”

*~*~*

“Colonel Sheppard, how's it going, Sir?”

It was good to hear Major Lorne's voice again and see his face, even though John had seen him in person just two days ago. But so much had happened since then that it felt much longer than just two days.

“Pretty well, Major. How about you and Atlantis? Is everything okay?” he asked back, grateful that Todd had allowed him to use his office for his talk with Atlantis and even left him alone so he could talk openly and privately with his XO.

“Everything is going smoothly, and all are well, Sir. No incidents so far. The sub Commander of the Hive in charge of the two which Todd has left in orbit for our safety suggested a first collaboration with Atlantis. His head scientist is working together with Dr. McKay to align our sensors with the sensors of the Hives. This way we can detect other Hives and space ships much sooner and prepare for their arrival and a possible attack.”

John frowned at that, not because he didn't approve of the idea in general, but because he was actually worried about Rodney. Perhaps he was even more worried about the brave scientist who'd volunteered to visit the wounded lion in his den, as Rodney's mood had been much worse than usually for a couple of weeks – since his breakup with Jennifer to be precise. Which was strange as Rodney had been the one breaking up with her, not the other way around, but he was depressed and angry ever since then and snapped at each and everyone, even John. He was also much quieter than usually, which worried John the most.

“I see,” he murmured, “do you really think that this is such a good idea? Rodney doesn't feel comfortable when one of our greenish buddies is around.” This was actually a major understatement, but John was sure that Lorne was clever enough to get the point.

The major with the dark-brown hair and the crystal-blue eyes grinned, and it was a rather smug grin he only showed on rare occasions.

“Amadeus has been insistent, and so far they're both still alive and well. They started working together yesterday, but Atlantis is not really... cooperative, so they're still working on the needed adjustments.”

“Amadeus?!” John stared at the handsome face visible on the screen. “Don't tell me that McKay named a Wraith – and chose Amadeus of all names. But thinking about it – as Mozart is the one composer he hates with a passion, it actually makes sense that he would choose Amadeus as the perfect name for a Wraith he must loathe.”

Lorne's grin widened. “Oh, I actually don't think that Dr. McKay hates Amadeus, although he's most likely telling himself that he does. Amadeus is not like the Wraith our genius has been used to, and he's doing a great job in proving himself to be trustworthy as far as I can tell. He's for sure as stubborn as our head scientist can be, so McKay won't get any real chance to avoid him.”

“Hmm, I hope that it will stay that way. But what about Atlantis? You know what happens when she's 'uncooperative'.” John inquired, but Lorne offered him a reassuring smile.

“There's nothing you need to worry about, Sir. Atlantis is not in danger or about to shut down. According to Dr. McKay, she's behaving like a child in its defiant phase, thwarting any achievement he and Amadeus try to accomplish. My connection to her is not as strong as yours, Colonel, but if you want to know my honest opinion, than my guess would be that she's resisting McKay's adjustments to prolong this collaboration – for whatever reason she might have for that. The Wraith have always been our enemies, but Atlantis has never shut down when they invaded her in any way so far, and considering that the Ancients are responsible for their existence in the first place and that Wraith are rather closely related to them – and us – she might actually acknowledge them as rightful visitors or something of this kind and approve of our decision to build an alliance with some of them.”

John pondered that for a few seconds, and his talk with Todd rushed back into the center of his mind again. Lorne's explanation sounded plausible, but John got the feeling that there was more behind Atlantis' decision to prolong McKay's cooperation with a Wraith scientist.

“Animatii. Maybe it's that, and Atlantis can sense their bond and is reacting to it,” he murmured, more to himself, and Lorne looked questioningly at him.

“Pardon me, Sir?”

“Never mind, Major. I'll explain that to you some day later. So Rodney is working with a Wraith he's named Amadeus. Anything else I needed to know? How are the other Wraith behaving? Do you have contact with one of them except for this 'lucky' scientist?”

“Yes, Sir. I've been in contact with his Commander. He's reasonable and truly interested in our alliance, and he assured us of his full cooperation.” Lorne hesitated, and there was a strange look on his face, something John recognized as a mixture of melancholy and attraction. It seemed that he wasn't the only one feeling drawn unstoppably to the members of this species – at least to the male ones...

“I truly wished that we had met Wraith like him beforehand, Colonel. Things might have turned out to be quite different then,” Lorne continued to speak, and John slowly nodded his head.

“Yes, I know what you mean, Major. It's the same for me. I'm here for hardly more than a whole day, but I've already seen so much, and I must admit that all of these things have changed my mind pretty much. Todd's third-in-command – you know him from our negotiations – he's not like any of the Wraith we've encountered before I met Todd, and I must admit that I start to believe that this alliance will truly work and that we can trust our new allies, not only Todd, but all of them.”

“I feel the same way, Sir, and I wish you a nice holiday. You really deserve to have some weeks off and without worrying about the next emergency or incident. Getting more than six hours of sleep without any disturbances and having your radio beeping is a luxury you cannot value high enough.”

John was about to blush again when he was reminded of last night and the very special dream he'd had – and apparently shared with Todd. Lorne of course noticed the change of his skin color instantly.

“Sir? Is everything okay?”

“Hmm, yes, it is. I just have to get used to sleeping for an entire night without being woken up, just like you said.”

Lorne thankfully let go of this delicate topic, and John forced his attention back to his XO, pushing the memory of his dream back into the farthest corner of his mind again.

They talked for a while longer before they said their goodbyes, and John ended the connection in the knowledge that Atlantis was safe and in the best hands possible with Lorne and Woolsey.

He strolled back to the bridge where Todd was standing behind his console in the center of it again, an impressive sight and all in commanding mode. John's heart started to beat faster when their eyes met, and he felt anticipation and something akin to pride and astonishment rising from the center of his belly, astonishment that this powerful and amazing creature held such strong feelings for him.

“Ah, Sheppard, it's good that you're here!” Todd greeted him, all business now, “we've almost reached our worshiper colony. Three of my allied Hives are already in orbit and waiting for our arrival.”

“Uhm, I see. Four Hives? Why that? Will I meet your other sub Commanders and crews as well?”

John felt slightly worried now, but Todd made a calming gesture with his hand.

“My Hives didn't come because of you, Sheppard. You asked me about our disadvantage compared to other Hives still using their cocoons to storage food, and now you'll get the chance to learn more about how Wraith negotiate and trade with other clans. You may have asked yourself why there are no young Wraith on board our Hives, and the simple truth is that we grow up on planets mostly – left in the care of our most faithful worshipers and a small group of adult Wraith. It's a symbiosis you didn't know about beforehand, and we're dependent on our worshipers when it comes to the care of our younglings.”

“How that?” John felt intrigued, and he stepped beside Todd to watch the planet they were approaching become larger and larger on the screen in front of them. It was a beautiful world, shimmering in a wonderful green-blue color and hanging in the middle of black vacuum like a precious jewel.

“One day I will tell you more about our history – at least the parts of our history and past we know about ourselves, as some parts are hidden in the darkness of forgetting. We prefer to live on board our Hives for most of our long lives nowadays, and we have adapted to this way of life millennia ago, but our children and juveniles have different needs than adult Wraith have, and they need other surroundings and special care.

Those humans who didn't see us as their enemies but worshiped us as their adored queens and lords offered to raise our young until they could join their birth-Hive and serve there, and in exchange for this offer we granted them protection and that we would see to their human needs in return, providing them with the supplies they couldn't get themselves for example. This symbiosis has been working wonderfully for thousands of years, but your arrival in Atlantis of course changed a lot of things, and a lot of Wraith clans are facing the problem that their worshiper colonies have been culled by hostile clans or that they have turned their backs on their former queens and lords.

My colonies, and those of my sub Commanders, have always stayed loyal to their lords and luckily gone without any culling, though, and we're not only here because I wanted you to meet them and learn more about our culture and way of life, but also because another Chief Commander of three Hives has contacted me to ask for negotiations. He wants to become the junior lord of my biggest worshiper colony because he lost his own one, and he needs to find a place where the young Wraith of his Hive can grow up in safety. His queen died in the civil war a few years ago, and he's rather desperate, so he will most likely agree to my conditions. But I'd rather be better safe than sorry, that's the reason why I summoned three of my sub Commanders to come here and protect our colony as long as the negotiations will take place there – as they have to agree to him becoming their junior lord as well, and it could be that he'll not take it well in case that my worshipers will refuse him as their new junior lord.”

“Oh, wow. That's a lot to digest for me. I had no idea!” John murmured, and Todd darted him a sidelong glance.

“I told you that there is a lot you don't know about Wraith, Sheppard,” he stated, and John gifted him with one of his crooked smiles.

“That you did. I must admit that I'm really curious now. Will your sub Commanders join the negotiations?”

“No, they won't. They'll stay on board their Hives to thwart any possible attack or betrayal right from the start, but their presence will be a visible and unmistakable sign that my position as the Chief Commander of ten Hives is authorized and solidified. They don't need to be physically present to be 'present' if you know what I mean, John.”

“Yes, I do. Plus, you have me as the living proof that Atlantis is your ally now as well, and that he'd better not mess with both of us at the same time,” John drawled, and Todd gifted him with a toothy smile that showed how pleased he was about John's quick intake.

“Indeed, Colonel, your intelligence never fails to amaze me,” Todd purred, and John mumbled something unintelligible, but grinned back at him.

“I knew that you'd invited me to spend some weeks on board your Hive for entirely selfish reasons, Todd,” he complained, still grinning, and the Wraith inclined his head and gazed down meaningfully at him.

“Very selfish, Sheppard, but you will benefit from them just as much, I promise you.”

That was something John believed him without a doubt, and he felt another blush creeping into his face. He almost wished that his skin color would be of the same green-gray as Todd's, but this was wishful thinking that would never come true, and he sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

“If you say so, Todd,” he said, looking back at the screen. The planet had become larger while they'd talked, a big ball that filled most of the screen now.

“We're there,” he stated the obvious, and Todd nodded his head.

“Yes, we are, Sheppard. We'll use the cruiser to reach the surface, Logan, the mayor of the colony, is already waiting for us. He's curious to meet you, John.”

“I'm curious to meet him, too,” John admitted, and he followed Todd out of the bridge and right into their next adventure, the first one of many more to follow they would experience together.

Their journey had only just begun, and John still wasn't sure where it would take them, but for the first time since he'd stood face to face with a Wraith five years ago, he was happy to go on this journey and enjoy the ride, because as long as he could do it with Todd, he would always be fine.


	10. The other Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Todd arrive in Todd's worshiper colony, meeting the mayor Logan, a few of Todd's worshipers and a beautiful female young Wraith. When the other Commander who wants to become the junior lord of the colony finally shows up, things start to get tense, and John can't help but wonder what this is all about...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally got enough time to write the next chapter of this story, and I must admit that I'm nervous like hell and excited about it at the same time. I really hope that you'll like it... <33

The Wraith cruiser landed smoothly on a large clearing, and John stepped out into the bright sunlight, taking a moment to inhale deeply the fresh air and blink against the bright sunlight he had to get used to again after his time on board the Hive with its artificial and still rather gloomy lights.

“Does this planet have a Stargate?” he asked curiously, and Todd shook his head.

“Not, it hasn't. One of the reasons why I brought my worshipers to this world centuries ago. It provides them with almost everything that they need for their living, and my Hives come here on a regular basis to bring them those supplies they cannot grow and harvest themselves. It's much safer for them to live on a world without a Stargate, especially considering the culling by other Wraith clans.”

“I see. This way they cannot leave this world either.” John looked at Todd, and the Commander raised one of his hairless brow-ridges at him in return.

“I know what you're implying, Sheppard. My worshipers are free to leave this world and visit others if they want to. If they request such a wish, my Hives will bring them wherever they want to go – if it's a safe place for them to go there. You know that I have gained some knowledge in the sciences of genetics and biology, and the necessity of avoiding inbreeding and the problems that come with it are not lost on me. It's equally important for both of our races, and many humans from other worlds have joined my colonies for marriage and procreation over the last centuries and millennia – just like some of my people have left my colonies to do the same and live somewhere else in the future. They're my cherished people, not my prisoners or hostages, John.”

“Uhm, sorry. You cannot blame me for asking such things, I guess.” John said with a shrug of his shoulders, not really trying to hide his relief about Todd's explanation.

“I don't, John. Asking questions and getting honest answers in return is important for all of us.” Todd pointed at a path on the other side of the large meadow. “Please, follow me to the colony. My communication officer – Danilo – and the guards will wait for the arrival of the other Commander who wants to become the junior lord of my colony.”

John gave him a sidelong glance. “It would be too much of an honor if you were waiting for him yourself, right?”

“I'm always amazed anew about your agile mind and your astonishing perception skills, John Shepparrrrrd,” Todd said, rolling the 'r' of his surname in that special way John had once hated but had come to love pretty much now.

The colonel grinned at him before turning to look at Danilo, who was standing before the cruiser with his hands clasped behind his back and straight shoulders, his face not showing the friendly expression like it usually did when he was alone with his human charge. Now his expression was stoic and impassive, almost scaring and hostile like John knew it from most of the other Wraith he'd encountered over the years. His eyes lit up for a split second when he caught John's gaze, though, and John raised his hand to a friendly temporary goodbye and smiled at him.

“The first impression is what counts, isn't it?” he asked with a wink of his eye, and Danilo graciously inclined his head.

“It is indeed, Colonel Sheppard. You will find our worshipers to be very kind and caring people, and I will soon join you there and answer all of the questions you might have,” he gave back, and John felt himself relax. He hadn't realized how tense he'd been since he'd left the cruiser, but knowing that Danilo's changed attitude had nothing to do with him, and that he would soon meet other humans, who weren't afraid of Todd's race, but lived happily under his protection, lifted his mood considerably.

“Looking forward to that, Danilo. See you later, then,” he said before he turned around to follow Todd along the path with eight drones and four more officers he'd already seen on the bridge of the Hive in tow. Six more drones and two other Wraith officers took up position behind Danilo, and John thought how lucky he was that this display of power and strength was not aimed at him and his own people for once.

This time he belonged to the more powerful party, and John was suddenly very much looking forward to meeting the unknown Commander and watching how Todd would put him in his place and prove his superiority to him. Atlantis was one of Todd's Hives now, and John knew that 'his' Wraith wouldn't allow that any harm came to the city from any other Wraith clan. It was reassuring and soothing to know that, and he found himself smiling at the tall Wraith walking at his side with long and confident steps.

Todd smiled back at him, and John moved a little bit closer to him. Maybe this _Animatii_ thing was actually not as scaring as he'd first thought it to be, and John could actually imagine worse things than that.

Maybe learning more about Todd's worshipers would help him come to terms with the prospect of becoming Todd's mate, something John was suddenly very much looking forward to.

*~*~*

The worshipers had all gathered together on the market place of the village, together with the young Wraith who grew up under their attentive care, and each of them wanted to greet Todd personally and pay their respects to him.

John must admit that he was pretty impressed about the honest joy and adoration the tall Commander was receiving from his charges. He kept John at his side when he stopped in the middle of the market place to greet the mayor first, while the four officers and the eight drones took up position in a large circle around the open place silently and probably on Todd's mental command, and Mayor Logan bent his head in a deep bow that was full of respect, but lacked any kind of servility.

“It's such a joyous day for us, Mylord,” Logan said, “to see you so soon again.”

John guessed that he was a man in his sixties or seventies perhaps, even though he looked younger than he probably was, his hair still full and thick and with only few silver-gray strands in his otherwise dark-brown hair. There were only few lines around his eyes, and they spoke of laughter and not of pain and misery, and his shoulders and back were straight like the body of a much younger man. But there was an aura of wisdom surrounding him that made John think that Logan had seen many summers and winters pass by, most likely much more than any other human living in the Pegasus Galaxy would normally see.

“It's a joyous day for me and my crew as well, Logan,” Todd replied solemnly, and he took the smaller man by his shoulders and gently laid their foreheads together in a gesture that spoke of true friendship, deep understanding and unwavering trust between these two so different beings.

The other villagers waited patiently to be gifted with Todd's attention as well, and some of them darted curious glances in his own direction, probably musing about the reason for John's presence in their middle. John returned their looks with a brief smile to prove his friendly intentions to these faithful people, and some of them smiled back, still cautious, but willing to welcome him in their midst if he proved himself worthy of their trust.

Todd let go of Logan's shoulders and straightened back up after a moment or two, his gaze traveling over the crowd of his gathered worshipers.

“You know that it's always a joyous occasion for me to visit you and see you so well and your village bloom, but today is a special day not only for me and my Hives, but for you as well. Please welcome Colonel John Sheppard from Atlantis in your village. He is the one who offered an alliance to me to escape our mutual enemy Kolya when he didn't know more about me other than that I was starving and a lethal threat to him, and he did value our alliance even after our escape and gave me the chance to return to you after more than ten years. Today is a day I want to celebrate with all of you, because Colonel Sheppard has agreed to forge a really strong and lasting alliance with me and my sub Commanders for the benefit of all of us, his beloved City of Atlantis, my Hives and you as my most faithful and cherished people.”

John felt himself blush furiously at Todd's announcement, but Todd's worshipers started to applaud before he could object, and when Todd gently took his shoulders to lay their foreheads together like he'd done it with Logan, his protest died on his lips and he blindly reached out to do the same and put his own hands onto Todd's broad shoulders in return. They stood like this for a moment, and John couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so touched and moved, so full of hope and confidence that he'd done the right thing when he'd agreed to spend these three weeks on board Todd's Hive.

He had to blink against a sudden moisture in his eyes when Todd stepped back again, ready to greet each of his worshipers personally and exchange a few words with them, and John was happy to just stay at his side and listen to him and the villagers who were looking at him with so much trust and happiness that their adored Wraith lord took such good care of them. Therefore he didn't notice the young Wraith who'd approached him curiously, until her voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he turned his head to look down at her.

She was still rather small, and he guessed that she must be younger than Ellia had been when he'd met the female Wraith Zaddik had raised as his own daughter. John swallowed as he remembered how he and his team had treated Ellia back then, only seeing the monster in her and not the frightened and unhappy young female who'd simply been trying to find her own place in the world and live like the human woman she'd wanted to be more than anything.

“Hi there,” he greeted the young Wraith, and for the first time he didn't see the Wraith in her, but just the beautiful young girl she actually was.

“Colonel Sheppard,” she said, peering up at him with curious golden eyes. “The Commander has told us the story how you liberated him from his prison and gave him his freedom back many times.”

John smiled at her. “The Commander has done the same for me, Mylady,” he replied, hoping that the addressing would be appropriate as he was very careful with naming Wraith after all he'd learned about their mind-print and why they were so opposed to being called by a human name.

“I wouldn't have been able to escape without his help. He saved me as much as I saved him,” he added, thinking that Todd had actually saved him in much more than only one way. He'd only been too blind to realize that until recently.

The young Wraith giggled like only girls could giggle. “I'm not a queen, I don't deserve this title yet.”

“Of course you do,” John assured her gently, “you don't have to be a queen to be a true lady. Not titles and power make people be true ladies and lords, but their attitude and their behavior.”

The Wraith girl tilted her head in contemplation, and her face lit up with joy about his words. “Thank you, Colonel Sheppard,” she giggled with obvious delight, and John couldn't help but feel utterly charmed by her. She had long hair in an astonishing red-golden color, like autumn leaves shining in the sun, and her skin was more creamy-white with a bluish undertone than greenish. Her nose was small and delicate, her lips full and almost rosy, and John thought that she had to be one of the most beautiful females he'd ever seen.

“One day you'll be a queen,” he told her, “a true queen not only by title, but by your mindset and kind heart.”

“I hope so, Colonel Sheppard,” she thanked him, and a brief shadow ghosted over her beautiful features. “There are only few queens left, true queens, I mean. The Commander has told us about the civil war and how important it is for all of us to find a cure for the feeding so our human families, friends and allies won't have to suffer anymore, and how important it is to find allies and bring peace back to our galaxy.”

“With all due respect, Mylady, but you seem to be a little young for politics,” John murmured, and the young Wraith giggled again.

“I'm older than I look like – compared to human standards, I mean. I haven't experienced my first hunger yet, but I'm twenty-five, old enough to understand politics, Colonel Sheppard. Wraith grow up much slower than humans. For your standards, I'm still a young teenager, but our minds develop faster than our bodies do.”

“I see.” John bowed before her. “I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, Mylady.”

“You didn't, Colonel. Come with me, I want to introduce you to Mayor Logan and my human foster-parents,” she said, taking his hand with the trust only children could have when they were raised with love and the feeling of being safe, and John followed her across the market place because Todd was still busied with talking to his worshipers and some of the other young Wraith, who were obviously eager to inform him about their own progress in their studies.

He could feel Todd's eyes lingering on his back for a moment, but Todd seemed to be fine with John exploring the village on his own for a while, and John was really curious to meet some of the worshipers and talk to them. Logan had retreated to give his people the chance and talk to their adored lord as well, and he was standing together with a woman about his own age and a younger couple that were holding hands and smiling when the young Wraith strode towards them like a true lady, still holding John's hand to make sure that he wouldn't get lost.

“Mother, father, Mistress Eiryn and Mayor Logan, ” she called, “I want you to meet Colonel Sheppard!” She came to a halt when they reached the four humans, and John discreetly disentangled their fingers to reach out his right hand and proffer it to the older one of the two women, the one who must be Eiryn.

“I'm pleased to meet you,” he offered when Eiryn took his hand, “I must admit that I've just learned about your existence and your colony a couple of hours ago, “but I'm really happy to be here and get to know you.”

“We're having an advantage then, Colonel Sheppard,” Eiryn said with a warm smile, “Mylord has spoken of you many times when he visited us. He's holding you in very high regards.”

John blushed when the memory of how many times he'd treated Todd badly and threatened to kill him came back rushing into the center of his mind, and he was grateful that the worshipers couldn't read his thoughts.

“The feeling is mutual, I can assure you that. It took me and my team members a rather long time to get there, but we're true allies now, and hopefully even close friends.” he chose to be honest, and he was rewarded with friendly looks of understanding out of five pairs of eyes, one of them golden, two of a light-brown color, a green and a blue one.

“We are aware that seeing our lords and ladies not as monsters is much more difficult for our brothers and sisters who are not living under the protection of a kind queen or lord, Colonel Sheppard,” Logan said, and he shook John's right in a firm handshake when Eiryn – probably his wife – released it from her gentle grip.

“Yes, it is, but Todd – the High Commander – is not like any other Wraith I've ever met. It's actually easy to like and trust him.” John was astonished how easy those words were slipping from his lips, but it was the simple truth, and without other people like the IOA or the Stargate Command watching him with eagle eyes and calling him out on his willingness to ally with the enemy, it also seemed to be the most natural thing to do.

The younger woman was the next to shake his hand, and John's new friend snuggled against her side like a small child despite her announcement from a few minutes earlier that she was old enough for talks about politics. Her human foster-mother stroked over her shining hair in a gesture of motherly love and wrapped her arm around the shoulder of the future queen and pulled her close.

“I'm Kya, Colonel Sheppard. Our lord saved her from a damaged cruiser and brought her here when she was only three years old. We're still not sure which clan she originally belonged to, and he decided that he wants her to grow up here in peace and love before she'll be old enough to find out about her origin herself.”

“Hello Kya. Your daughter is amazing and a real lady. Kindhearted and intelligent and beautiful like only true ladies can be. If the queens I'd met before had been anything like her, our encounters would have gone a different way.” John hoped that his words wouldn't be taken the wrong way, but Kya gifted him with a blinding smile.

“Thank you, Colonel Sheppard. We taught her well, then.”

“That you did. And please call me John, not Colonel Sheppard. That's so formal.” He turned his attention to the younger man, the foster-father of his new friend and Kya's husband if he assumed correctly.

“Hello, John,” Kya's other half introduced himself as he took John's hand. “I'm Baros, the lucky one who is allowed to call the two most wonderful and beautiful women here in this village his wife and his daughter.”

“Father!” But the young Wraith snickered delightedly, and John found that he didn't want to leave this peaceful place any time soon again. His thoughts were interrupted, though, as there was a sudden agitation beginning to spread among the worshipers, and he could see how Todd turned his head to scan the market place for him, waving with a hand at John when he'd found him. John made his way back to where the tall Commander was still standing and straightening his posture now. It could mean only one thing, and John's suspicion was proven to be right when he saw several Wraith approaching the village from where they had come earlier as well.

Danilo was walking in front of the large group, the two junior officers in his wake, then came three unknown Wraith, one of them walking in the middle and obviously the Commander Todd had been talking about. Danilo held his head up very high, his face a perfectly mastered mask of impassiveness mixed with a hint of arrogance. The six drones which John recognized as theirs with surprising swiftness were walking at the end of the small deployment, with four drones that must belong to the other Commander's Hive in the middle between their Commander and Todd's six drones.

John stepped beside Todd, instinctively moving as close to him as he could without actually touching him, and Todd gave him a brief smile in return before he schooled his features into the mask of the powerful Commander who was clearly in charge of the following events and perfectly in control of the situation. John felt a shiver run down on his spine at the display of barely contained power, and it was definitely not a shiver of fear. The dark-haired colonel had never realized until this moment how virile male Wraith actually were, but now he found himself confronted with this realization at the worst moment possible.

Wraith had superior senses compared to humans, and judging by the way Todd's nostrils flared when he sniffed the air and the low growl that fled his lips, his supposed-to-be-Animatus was well aware of John's current state of... excitement. It was only logical to assume that the foreign Commander wouldn't miss the obvious signs John was involuntarily giving away either, something John was not as comfortable with as he was with Todd knowing about his inappropriate reaction to his untimely revelation.

Danilo and the other officers and drones would most likely sense his state, too, but they were 'his' Wraith, so John was okay with them knowing that he desired their adored Commander, and John was certain that his new friend would never purposely do or say anything that would hurt or embarrass him. Danilo was the role model of politeness and discretion, and the short reassuring glance he got from him assured him that his dignity hadn't suffered any damage in the eyes of Todd's communication officer.

What he hadn't expected was the sudden change in the mask of calm the other Commander had worn on his face so far. He was for sure a striking appearance, his sleek silver-white hair falling untamed over his back and down to his waist, his features of a perfect regularity which John had hardly ever seen it before. They were delicate and yet male at the same time, and John had to admit that he'd hardly ever seen any other male Wraith who was as beautiful as this one. He certainly turned heads and drew attention wherever he went, but his self-control and natural confidence of a dangerous predator suffered visibly when he turned his head in John's direction all of a sudden to stare at him with glittering green-golden eyes and bare his teeth to a startled hiss that didn't sound pleased at all.

So much to John's secret hope that Todd's counterpart would miss his state of arousal...

John still failed to see why it would disturb the other Commander so much that Todd had a human by his side who was apparently more than just a worshiper or political ally to him – whereas neither of his two officers even blinked when they were finally close enough for the smell of human excitement to penetrate their noses and sensor pits.

The so far unknown Commander kept glaring at John, his nostrils flaring angrily, and John stared back defiantly, while Todd's worshipers had gone completely silent, watching the scene from safe distance and holding their breaths in both concern and curiosity.

They measured each other with hard glances, the ancient Wraith Commander and the human colonel, and John swallowed down the snarl of triumph that wanted to escape him when the Commander admitted defeat at last and dropped his gaze for a split second to gather himself together again before he turned his head to look at Todd and ignore John for the time being.

Todd's posture didn't give any hint whether or not he was communicating mentally with the other Wraith, but John had the strong suspicion that they didn't, and that Todd kept his mental barriers firmly in place to keep his thoughts a secret from his counterpart.

John had never been able to witness how Wraith clans interacted with each other and which social rules and binding laws existed in their culture, and he found his eyes glued to the scenery, feeling as breathless as Todd's faithful worshipers. From his own experiences with Wraith it was upon the queen or the commander in charge to speak first, so he was more than just a little bit surprised when Todd remained silent and just enjoyed himself by staring the other Commander down – which worked quite well as Todd's counterpart was a few centimeters smaller than Todd. Taller than John, but smaller than Todd, and it filled John with a strange feeling of grim satisfaction.

No one spoke, and John watched the two proud Commanders fighting a silent battle with their eyes. Whether or not there was also a mental battle going on in their heads, this was hard to tell, as their faces were the stony masks of marble statues – except for their fiercely glowing eyes.

It was the foreign Commander who finally broke their eye-contact first, with a bow of his head that expressed his acknowledgment of Todd's superiority. John could feel Todd relax beside him ever so slightly, and his multi-toned voice was audible on the entire market place when he graced the newcomer with a brief nod of his head in return.

“It's been a long time, Commander. I must admit that I was surprised when you contacted me and asked for negotiations about my colony.”

Todd's voice gave nothing away of what he was thinking, but he disentangled his fingers behind his back to put his feeding hand onto John's back, in the small valley between his shoulder blades. It was only a light touch, and it was a gesture of reassurance as much as it was a gesture of possessiveness. Whether the reassurance was more meant for John, or actually for both of them, that was not clear to John, but one thing was more than clear to everyone who had a free view on them – like the other Commander – namely that Todd was unmistakably laying his claim on his human companion.

The word _'MINE!!!'_ seemed to echo over the whole place, and a tiny muscle twitched in the other Commander's face at the small display of intimacy between Todd and John. John suppressed a weak groan when his body reacted to Todd's possessiveness with another wave of desire that was coursing through him and heating his face up, but he forced himself not to drop his gaze when the glittering eyes of the foreign Commander darted over his figure for a second before they fixated on Todd again.

His voice sounded a little bit strangled when he lifted his chin up, but John had to give him credit for how well he had himself under control given his position in this weird situation.

“Yes, it is, High Commander. Times have been difficult for my Hives since our Queen died, and I am most grateful that you accepted my request for negotiations.” The Commander went silent, and Todd's stony face softened a bit in sorrow about the loss the other Wraith clan had suffered.

“I've heard about the death of your Queen. My condolences for your loss, Commander. She was one in a million and had no equal without any doubt.”

“That she was, and even more.” The other Commander bent his head in utter sorrow and grief for a moment, but the strict self-control was back on his beautiful features when he looked up again.

“I heard that you were the one revenging her.” It wasn't a question, and Todd inclined his head and bared his teeth.

“The honor to revenge her, and others who have suffered so much as well, was bestowed on me, yes.”

John peered at Todd from the side, wondering what they were talking about, but Todd changed the topic now, and the dark-haired colonel decided that he could ask him about this revenge later when they were alone with each other. Which would most likely not happen so soon as Logan stepped beside Todd and John now and gestured invitingly to the biggest house on the other side of the market place.

“Mylord, Commander, we have prepared everything for your negotiations, please follow me to the town hall, where the negotiations will take place.”

Both Wraith nodded their heads, and John halfway expected Todd to tell him that he had to wait outside, but the gentle pressure against his back told him otherwise, and so he followed him to the town hall, curious and worried at the same time that his mere presence would influence the negotiations in the wrong way. He could feel the other Commander looking furtively at him several times, but he kept his own eyes on the building until the young Wraith he'd become friends with caught his gaze.

She was standing near the town hall together with her human parents, smiling at him, and John smiled back at her, suddenly glad that he was allowed to be a part of Todd's talks with the other Commander. He wouldn't allow that the foreign Commander got the chance to harm these friendly and peaceful colony in any way, and if it was only for a young female Wraith, who would once be a formidable queen when her time to rule would finally come. A young Wraith that was the future of not only her own kin, but of an entire galaxy, the one who could make a difference between war and peace - and John would protect her with his own life if he had to do that to make this future happen.

*~*~*

Danilo had joined them as well, together with one of the two Wraith who'd accompanied their Commander, while the other Wraith were supposed to wait outside and ensure the safety of the colony for as long as the negotiations would take place here. John was sitting between Todd and Logan, while Danilo was sitting on Logan's other side, opposite the other Wraith officer, who was probably holding the same position as Danilo on the other Commander's Hive, and John guessed that Todd had arranged the seats in a way that his chief communication officer could watch his counterpart and draw conclusions out of his behavior.

Logan's deputy had been invited to join them too, an impressive woman with short dark hair and attentive eyes. Her name was Alyna, and she looked more like John imagined the ancient female warriors called Amazons to look like than like a politician, but he was glad about her presence to keep a close eye on the other Wraith party if necessary as well.

“How many young Wraith are under your care at the moment?” Todd started their talk without further ado, and the Commander lifted his chin up.

“Twenty-five. We've brought them to a planet without Stargate, but the conditions on this world are not ideal for young Wraith to grow up, and our colony had already been rather small before it was culled. I've left as many of my crew with them as I could spare for this task, but you know how difficult it is without our faithful worshipers to raise them. Even more in these times when so many clans are fighting for territories and food...” His voice trailed off, and he darted a quick look in John's direction.

“Twenty-five, that's a large number, even for my colony.” Todd stated, and the other Commander inclined his head.

“I'm aware of that, High Commander. Not all of them belong to the clan of my Queen, though, we saved fifteen from two other colonies that were culled, too, hence the large number of young Wraith. My queen possessed six powerful Hives, but we lost three of them in the battle with the other queen who gave order to attack her and cull her colony. We'd received a distress call from our colony, and my queen decided to respond to it personally and came to their help with two of our Hives. The Hive where she was on board was destroyed before she could leave it, while the other Hive barely made it out of the trap but could at least escape heavily damaged, and its crew could only save a small number of our worshipers and our young. I was too far away with my Hive to save her as I'd been on a mission to explore a star system with an ancient facility, and two more of our Hives were destroyed when we refused to accept the aggressor as our new queen.

I was the oldest and most experienced one of the three Commanders that were left and therefore took over command of our clan after her death. We lost most of our territories in the process, and the worshipers we could save are too few to build a new colony on their own and take care of so many young Wraith alone. My Hives had to separate and hide for several months – until we heard that the death of our queen had been revenged by your hand, High Commander. Within these months I traveled through the galaxy and found two former colonies that had been culled by our aggressor as well, and she'd left the young Wraith there to die a slow and painful death. I couldn't leave them there, so I took them with me and brought them to the world where the survivors of our colony had found a new temporary home.”

The Commander went silent again, and John felt touched by his story. Judging by the look on Logan and Alyna's faces, they felt the same way as he did, and Todd's features wore a grim expression of sorrow and disgust.

“You did the right thing, Commander,” he said after a moment, his voice carefully controlled. “So your young are not the only ones needing a new home in this colony, but the survivors of your worshipers need a new home, as well?”

“Yes, High Commander. Most of the younger worshipers were culled, but there are a few young men and women left, together with several children and some elders who have been serving my queen for many, many years with greatest devotion and faith. They deserve to live the rest of their lives in peace and safety.”

“I see.” Todd leaned back in his chair. “My clans have always lived in a real symbiosis with our faithful colonies, and I won't make this decision alone, Commander. Logan has served not only me and my Hives, but his own people as well as a skilled, fair and kind mayor, and Alyna has proven herself to be his faithful deputy. The final decision will be theirs, and I want you to answer their questions without holding anything back. Plus, there will be some conditions you'll have to agree to if you really want to become the junior lord of this colony, conditions regarding an alliance that will include Colonel Sheppard's people and Atlantis as well. You can think about them of course, and we will come together again tomorrow and discuss your conditions and questions regarding such an extended alliance.”

The Commander shot John another appraising glance, but he nodded his agreement.

“Of course, High Commander,” he murmured, even though he didn't look really happy about these conditions which Todd had just mentioned.

Todd exchanged a quick glance with the human mayor, and Logan cleared his throat to draw the attention of the two other Wraith to himself.

“Alyna and I have only one question, Commander,” he began to speak. “Our beloved queen at first, and later her faithful Commander when she died – who has been our admired and beloved Mylord for more than two thousand years by now – both of them have always treated us with the respect and care each sentient and intelligent living being deserves to be treated with, regardless of its physical or mental abilities, powers or strengths. Both have always taught their young that human lives have to be respected and treated well, and that Wraith cannot survive without valuing human life as much as their own – regardless of your existential need to feed on human life-force. Do you share this view, and will your Hives and their crews meet us as equal partners as well? If you can confirm that without a doubt, then your young and the survivors of your colony will be welcome to find a new home here and become a part of us.”

“My queen was the sister of the queen the High Commander has served with all his heart. They were sisters not only when it came to their origin, but they also shared the same mindset, and her views and ethic standards have always been mine as well, so I can assure you that your lord and I are one mind in this regard.”

The Commander returned Logan's gaze openly, and John could see Danilo nod his head ever so slightly, so he must be able to read the mind of his counterpart and confirm the statement of his Commander as the truth. Todd nodded as well, and Logan and Alyna relaxed in their seats.

“We want to invite you to our feast tonight then, Commander. It is always a joyous time when our lord comes to us, and today we have another reason to celebrate, as Colonel Sheppard has come with him to inform us about the alliance our lord has formed with the City of the Ancients and the New Lanteans. You are welcome to join us and get to know us better so you can see for yourself that your people will find a good and peaceful place to live here.”

The Commander inclined his head. “Thank you, Mayor Logan, I'll accept your invitation on the behalf of myself and my officers,” he said, “we are very pleased to join you tonight.”

John thought that his officer didn't look pleased in any way, but it was still difficult to read a Wraith's face, even more when it was a Wraith John didn't know as well as he'd come to know Todd and Danilo, and Wraith were usually careful to hide their true feelings anyway, so it was probably because of that and wrong to assume that the Commander and his officer didn't want to participate in any actions that would tell them more about their future colony. The Commander had sounded pretty desperate to find a new place for his young Wraith when he'd told his story, so he must at least be grateful that his request hadn't been turned down right away.

“Now that this is settled, here are my conditions, Commander.” Todd's voice made John turn his head to look at him again.

“You will join my alliance of Hives – which includes an alliance with Atlantis and Colonel Sheppard's people as well. The New Lanteans are our allies, and they are to be treated as Hive, not as food. We still have to gain their full trust, so you'll have to accept guards and some restrictions Colonel Sheppard, his XO Major Lorne or Mr. Woolsey see fit if you'll have some business to do in the city. All of my sub Commanders agreed to these conditions, and our first concern is finding a solution for the feeding problem and the terrible effects our feeding has on humans. I'll expect your full cooperation and collaboration, so if you'll have scientists to spare, I'll expect you to assign them to this task together with my scientists.

You also have to agree to not using your cocoons any longer. Our human allies trust us to respect and value their lives as highly as our own ones, and keeping humans trapped in cocoons for weeks and months is not acceptable to them.”

This condition made the Commander bare his teeth to an annoyed hiss, and John found two pairs of darkly glowing green-golden eyes directed at himself. He lifted his chin up and stared back with as much determination and self-confidence as he could muster.

“We know that you can't survive without feeding on human life-force, Commander,” he said, “and no one expects you to starve yourself and your crew for our sake, but feeding on someone if you have to do so to avoid starvation is one thing, while keeping intelligent and sentient human beings trapped in your terrible cocoons until you'll graciously decide to end their misery is an entirely different kind of matter.”

“You heard him, Commander. These conditions are not debatable. If you cannot agree to them, you must go find another Wraith clan accepting you as the junior lord of their colony.

“I see.” The Commander slowly averted his eyes from John's flushed face to look at Todd instead.

“I will think about your conditions and discuss them with my sub Commanders.”

“Of course, Commander. We will come together here tomorrow after breakfast to hear your conditions and your decision. I hope to see you back here to the feast tonight.”

Todd rose to his feet to end the first round of the negotiations, and John followed his example with rather wobbly legs, longing pretty badly for some peace and quiet to digest the events of the last hours.

He watched the Commander and his officer rise to their feet to take their leave, and he was grateful for the support when Todd put his hand on his back again and said to Logan and Alyna:

“Colonel Sheppard and I will take a walk, Logan. We'll be back to the feast, and we will stay here for a couple of days after the negotiations, so there will be enough time for me to talk to each of you and see the progress our young have made in their studies and training.”

“Of course, Mylord. We'd be pleased to have you here for as long as you wish to grace us with your presence. You know that nothing makes us more happy other than have you here with us.”

Todd gifted the mayor with a genuine smile. “I know, Logan. It's the same for me. I really wished I could come here more often and spend more time with you. But now I'll need some time alone with Colonel Sheppard. My communication officer will assist you with the preparations for the feast in the meantime.”

“Thank you, Mylord, you're most kind and gracious as always,” Alyna said, and John thought that he'd better get used to seeing Todd treated like a Medieval lord. It felt kinda weird, but he had to admit that this role suited Todd surprisingly well as the powerful ancient Commander he actually was.

“Please come with me, John,” Todd now addressed him directly, “there are a few things we have to talk about.” John nodded and followed Todd out of the town hall and over the market place in the direction of the forest nearby, suspecting strongly that he wouldn't really like at all what Todd wanted to tell him.


	11. Do Wraith kiss?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Todd are having a heart-to-heart talk, and they share some more than just words...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out to be totally different from what I'd first planned, but John and Todd had their own minds again.  
> My dear Eos1969, I really hope that you will like this chapter, I cannot thank you enough for being the absolutely amazing friend you are. You know that I've gotten some bad news again, life continues to be rough and I'm just so grateful that I can always turn to you when I need someone to talk to. <33  
> I also included in this story something I'd written for you in another story in another life, posted on another account, I think you'll recognize it. ;-)

Todd remained silent for several long minutes as they were following the path that led deeper into the sun-filled forests, and John found himself becoming more and more anxious, but he knew that he had to wait until Todd had gathered his thoughts and was ready to speak. The path was small but wide enough that they could yet walk side by side, and John took the chance that offered itself to him and regarded the tall Wraith openly from the side to take in his alien male features as though he was looking at him for the very first time.

Back then, in Kolya's bunker, the realization that his inmate was one of the so hated and feared Wraith had made it impossible for him to appreciate the sight of Todd's striking appeal, and the fascination he was always feeling now when he looked at his sharp but still so ageless features.

Ten thousand years of existence were showing on his face, and the millennia of countless battles and far too many bloody wars and painful losses had left their traces in Todd's face without a doubt. The wisdom, knowledge and accepting resignation of things that were beyond Todd's control and reach had carved lines into his features that added to his strange beauty and aroused the wish in John that he were such a skilled artist like Major Lorne - so he could capture Todd's beauty on a canvas himself.

Back then, when they'd first met in the dark bunker, Todd had been nothing more than another specimen of a lethal enemy John hated more than he'd ever hated anything in his life, an adversary he would have killed instantly given the chance to do so and without a second thought.

And now, more than three years later, they were walking side by side, and Todd was the center of John's world, of his own existence.

The dark-haired colonel looked at him in some kind of wonder, and he asked himself when exactly it had happened that Todd had become so important to him that he couldn't imagine his life without this one special Wraith in it anymore. There wasn't an exact date he could remember though, and it had probably been a slowly progressing process, but in this moment, here on this beautiful planet where Todd's worshipers lived together with the young Wraith in peace and harmony, John realized that he also didn't _want_ to live his life without 'his' Wraith in it anymore.

Todd had said that John was his _Animatus,_ whatever this word truly meant and implied, and here, walking side by side on the small path with him, John really _felt_ that Todd was his _Animatus_ for the first time, too. They hadn't completed the strong bond that had grown between them since their first encounter in Kolya's prison yet, but he knew for sure that it wasn't a matter of 'if' any longer, but only a matter of 'when' now. Plus, John found himself to be very eagerly awaiting the 'when' all of a sudden, even more after the reaction the other Commander had shown today, and which had raised all of his hackles and woken up his own sense of possessiveness and urge to protect what was his, and his alone.

“You have probably noticed that the Commander and I share a history together, John.”

Todd's words pulled him out of his rapturous observation, and John felt his throat tighten. “Yes, it was too obvious to miss that,” he gave back, holding his breath as he waited for what would come next.

The tall Commander came to a halt and reached out to very gently put his clawed hands onto John's shoulders. He gazed down at him, and John returned his gaze, drowning in Todd's golden eyes.

“He's no threat to you, John. No one could ever take your place. I had to wait for ten thousand years to find the one who is completing me, my chosen _Animatus._ I had waited for such a long time that I'd given up hope to ever find this special someone, and ever since I have looked into your eyes through these iron bars for the first time, there has never been anybody else but you again, John. I didn't know what it was at the beginning, but I've felt the pull right from the start, and when you honored our bargain and let me live, giving me my freedom back, I finally knew.”

John covered Todd's hands with his own and looked up at him. “It took me much longer than it took you to come this conclusion, but it has been the same for me for a rather long time as well. I didn't know why I always came to your help – and why I kept telling you that I'd kill you even though I knew that I could never do that. But you must give me some credit for that because I'd never heard of the concept of soulmates before you told me about it.

Being the soulmate of someone was something that only happened in books or movies, but never in reality. Plus, being a part of the US military is not really helpful when you're struggling with coming to terms with your own needs and preferences regarding your... private life either. Add being the son of Patrick Sheppard to all of this, and you know why threatening you was the only way I could deal with this bond between us for so long, Todd.”

It was still hard for John to voice his feelings, but he owed Todd as much, and here on this planet, alone with him and after all he'd learned about Wraith in general and Todd in special over the last days, the dark-haired colonel felt finally brave enough to admit his fears and uncertainties – and his feelings for Todd.

The ancient Commander tilted his head to the side and loosened the grip of his right hand around John's shoulder to lift it up to his face instead. John didn't feel threatened by the sight of Todd's feeding hand any longer, safe in the final knowledge that no harm would ever come to him again from this hand. So he didn't flinch back from the touch, but leaned into it and allowed Todd's long fingers to trail softly over his stubbly cheek with a small shiver running down on his spine, a shiver of anticipation and desire.

“I know that, John, and I was never angry or disappointed because you needed longer to realize and accept our bond. I don't know much about your past, and what it meant to you to grow up in surroundings and circumstances you had no control of or the power to change them, but I've learned enough about your military and culture to know that relationships between two males are not considered as standard on Earth, especially not when you're serving in the army. The fact that I'm not only male, but also belong to a species you had to fight against with all you had, didn't make it any easier for you either. So I waited, hoping that one day you'd be able to acknowledge and accept your feelings for me.”

“I do now, and I'm glad that you were patient enough to wait for me,” John admitted, reaching out to stroke Todd's face as well. His touch was still uncertain and cautious at first, but when Todd pressed his cool cheek into his palm with a low and quiet purr of delight and happiness, he became bolder and shuffled closer to the taller male to lean against him and rest his head on his shoulder with a small sigh, his palm still resting against Todd's smooth and hairless skin.

They stood like this for a few moments, Todd wrapping his left arm around John's waist to hold him in a loose embrace.

“The Commander and I have been lovers for a rather long time, back then, when we were both serving my queen.”

Todd's explanation was what John had actually been expecting, but it caught him off guard, nevertheless, and he instinctively pulled away from his embrace. The ancient Commander didn't try to keep his hold of him, both of his arms dropping back down at his sides again. He met John's hurt gaze with a calm face and a small sigh of his own.

“It was long ago, John. More than two thousand years ago, when my queen was still his queen as well. You know how old I am, and even though I have never bound myself to another being like I would only bind myself to my true _Animatus –_ to you, John – but of course there have been times when someone special and dear to me has filled my existence with life and joy, sharing my burdens with me and filling the deep gap inside my heart with their passion and care. We both have a past, we have both had a life before we met each other, and I know that you have been married, John, but I would never feel hurt or betrayed because of that.”

John pulled a face, but he really couldn't blame Todd. Ten thousand years were an awfully long time to live it all on your own and without tender arms holding you, even more if you had to watch other people around you finding their significant other while you didn't have the same luck.

“I know, Todd,” he said with a helpless shrug of his shoulders. “It's just that Wraith have a photographic memory, which makes you remember what happened two thousand years ago as if it was yesterday, right? Plus, my ex-wife Nancy is not about to re-enter my life ever again – while you've just told your ex-lover that he has to join your alliance if he wants to become the junior lord of your colony. Which means that you'll see each other on a regular basis again, and to me it's quite clear that two millennia haven't been enough to make him get over you. I'd definitely be dead by now if looks could kill, you know that, Todd, don't you? He was more than just a little bit pissed off when he realized what's going on between us.”

Todd tilted his head and gazed down at him with glittering eyes, his expression more than just a little bit predatory. He stepped closer, and John stepped back, his chin lifted in defiance.

“Is there something going on between us, Shepparrrrd?” The damn Wraith purred, his voice far too smug and sounding much more than just a little bit delighted.

“You know quite well that there is, Wraith!” John snarled, not willing to admit defeat so easily. Todd made another purring sound deep in his throat and glided another step closer to him, his nostrils flaring as he took in the scent of his prey. John stubbornly stayed where he was, his feet glued to the ground, and his usually comfortable BDUs felt tighter than they'd been only a few minutes ago.

His heart was pounding in his chest, and he could almost smell the scent of his own arousal. He had to crane his neck to stare into those bottomless golden orbs, the normally slotted pupils widened to dark rounds that betrayed Todd's intentions when he invaded John's personal space and reached out for him once more. John let the tall male pull him close again, and he cleared his throat and licked over his dry lips with the tip of his tongue. Todd's glittering gaze turned into open hunger within a split second, dropping down to John's mouth in appraisal.

“Do Wraith kiss?”

John's voice was nothing more than a hoarse croak, and the tension suddenly lying so heavily in the warm air made his head spin with a wave of raw desire.

“Yes, they do, Shepparrrd, but not the way humans kiss each other.” Todd's large hand on his back kept him firmly in place, and the Wraith moved again until their bodies were pressed close to each other from chest to waist.

“Wraith kiss each other with their hand-mouths, and you already know how it feels to be kissed by a Wraith. One day I will teach you how Wraith kiss one another,” the Commander purred into his ear, and a throaty moan escaped John's dry lips. They were standing so close, far too close for John to think straight any longer, and another heavy shiver wrecked his lean body. Todd's shimmering eyes were holding his own, trapping him and making feel vulnerable and bare, but for once John didn't want to turn around and flee like he'd always wanted – needed – to do when someone had come too close to him. Instead, he lifted his chin up higher in an unconscious invitation, until their mouths were merely inches apart from each other anymore.

“Do Wraith kiss with their mouths, too?” he whispered, his eyes falling shut of their own will at the sensation of warm breath ghosting over his face when Todd chuckled lightly.

“Sometimes, Shepparrrd, Wraith kiss with their mouths, too. Shall I show you how Wraith kiss with their mouths?” Todd's purring voice was vibrating against John's chest, and the colonel couldn't remember the last time he'd been so painfully aroused just by the prospect of being kissed.

“I guess so?” he half asked, halfway breathed, his fingers finding their way into Todd's always tousled mane to pull his head down as he met the ancient Wraith halfway on the way to their first kiss.

*~*~*

John had made his experiences with kissing both boys and girls since his years as an older teenager and later young man, when boys and girls had turned into other men and women – and before his job in the army had forced him to deny an important part of himself and he'd restricted any sexual desire he might feel to focus on women only.

But none of the kisses he'd shared over the years had ever felt like his first kiss with Todd.

The pair of lips meeting his own so eagerly were cooler than any other pair of lips he'd ever kissed before, but their passion seemed to burn him right from the start like no other passionate mouth had ever been able to burn him with its passion and desire. Wraith might usually prefer another kind of kisses, but it was clear that Todd had done this before, and that he had reached the same mastery and expertise in kissing someone else senseless as he'd reached in so many other things and sciences.

Todd's cool lips moved curiously against his own, teasing and nibbling, pulling away and pressing back until John's mind was spinning and the world around them stopped existing, and when the tip of a similar curious tongue gently poked against his closed lips, he was more than ready to open them for the one that fate had chosen to be his mate - and let the tender conqueror claim his mouth like there was no tomorrow. Not even the razor-sharp teeth scared him anymore, and Todd was careful enough not to cause any damage with them when he deepened their hungry kiss and started to explore the warm cavern of John's mouth thoroughly, his arms keeping him pressed against his strong and unyielding body. John had never been aware of Todd's strength and superiority as he was now, and being at the Wraith's complete mercy aroused him more than he'd ever thought it possible.

John met the agile tongue licking its way into his mouth with his own, their playful exploration soon turning into a heated and passionate battle until John started to feel light-headed due to the lack of air. Wraith tongues proved to be much more agile than human ones, reaching deeper than the dark-haired colonel could ever have dreamed of, and when Todd finally drew back slowly to invite John to do the same and explore his own mouth as well, John followed eagerly and rose to his toes to make sure that Todd's desire for him would burn as high as his own desire for his _Animatus_ was already burning so high that he could feel the flames of it in every cell of his body.

Just when he thought that he would faint the very next second the Wraith drew back fully to let both of them get some oxygen back into their lungs, and then they stood their, panting and staring into each other's eyes in some kind of joyous shock.

“Uhm, that was wow?” John brought out at last, “I'd have kissed you much sooner if I'd known that you're such a good kisser, I think?”

“I'd have told you that much sooner - if I had known that you were thinking about wanting to kiss me, Shepparrrd, but you never asked until today.” Todd bared his blade-like teeth to a wolfish grin. “Do you require another practice to make sure that your non-photographic memory will not forget the important details of our first kiss, human?”

John's own lips spread into a huge grin as well. “You won't hear me saying anything against that, Wraith,” he said with a nonchalant shrug, already shuffling closer again and pulling at the long, now even more ruffled silvery strands to make Todd bend down to him.

“Better be safe than sorry, right, Todd?”

“You're right with that, and you won't hear any objection against that coming from me either, Shepparrrd. So let's do some more practicing, shall we?” the ancient Commander purred, and then they didn't speak again for a rather long time.

*~*~*

“So you and he were lovers two thousand years ago. What happened?” John asked some time later when they were strolling along the path once more, his cheeks still burning from their thorough practicing, and their hands occasionally touching as close as they were walking side by side.

Todd wrapped his arm around John's shoulder, and the colonel looked up at him, still feeling wary about what was to come now, regarding the other Wraith Commander, but Todd's hot and ardent kisses had proven to him that he didn't need to worry about any possible rivals at all.

“We met when I joined the Hive of my last queen, the one who died two thousand years ago in a conflict with another queen, a queen who preferred to gain power and resources by betraying the clans she'd negotiated alliances with. I served my queen as her Commander for more than thousand years, and after her death, I found myself incapable of serving any other queen with the same devotion and faith she had aroused in me, and I joined other clans and Hives but left them again when they required more from me than I could give them.

Some of them didn't have a queen any longer, but millennia and centuries ago, before so many Hives lost their queens, most crews craved nothing more than to find a new queen again, and as I did not share their desire to bend my knee before another ruler, I would always take my leave again to walk the path of life that suited me and my needs better than becoming the tool of another queen to carry out her orders would have done.”

Todd smiled at John, a brief, smile that was almost sweet in its wistfulness and remembrance of a past that was long gone.

“But this is a story for another time, John. You asked me about the Commander, and why he reacted so violently to the realization that you and I share something I never shared with him.”

“You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to,” John offered, although he knew that it would always bother him if Todd kept this part of his past a secret from him.

“You have a right to know about it, John, and I never intended to keep it a secret from you. I'd just not expected him to approach me with such a request right now. I wasn't even sure whether he was still alive or not before he contacted me. We haven't seen each other for a long time, and the ten years as Kolya's prisoner made him believe that I had left the path of physical existence as well. He learned that I'm still alive only after my return to Pegasus a few weeks ago as he told me during our first video contact.”

“I see,” John murmured, and he wrapped his own arm around Todd's midsection to feel him close as he steeled himself for the story Todd would tell him now.

“He was one of my queen's junior officers when I joined her first Hive as her new Commander. Our first meeting happened when we still belonged to rivaling clans. The queen I was serving during that first encounter had given order to cull the worshiper colonies of another young queen who'd gained the loyalty of several Hives and two large colonies of human worshipers who'd lost their former protector in a conflict between two other rivaling clans. I didn't agree with the methods of my sovereign and that she had no qualms about disrespecting our most sacred laws and culling our most faithful worshipers to let her crews feed on them made my loyalty towards her turn into loathe and contempt. So I contacted the young queen and warned her before the Hives of my old queen had reached the planets, and I manipulated the weapons of the Hive I commanded because my old queen outnumbered the younger one with her Hives.”

Todd gazed at John, and John gently squeezed his waist in reassurance. As a solider he had done the same, disrespecting and ignoring orders to save innocent people or his comrades, and even though it had taken him far too long to acknowledge his own feelings, but one thing he'd known for a rather long time, namely that his _Animatus_ valued human life as much as valued his own, and that he also valued and respected law and the vows he'd given to someone else, whether they were Wraith or humans. Todd smiled gratefully at him, and his voice sounded hoarser than usual when he spoke up again.

“I have been called a traitor for what I did many times, John, but I have never regretted what I did, or felt guilty for it. I am one of the oldest Wraith that are still alive, one of the few who have fought against the Lanteans ten thousand years ago. One of the few who still remember so well this horrible and bloody war that has cost far too many lives on both sides. I know that you have had your fair share of terrible encounters with my race, John, and that those Wraith, especially the queens you've met, have betrayed you and treated you and your people as though you weren't sentient and intelligent beings who have the same right to live as we do, but you have met only very few of my race so far, John.

Most of us don't look at humans this way, and those who don't do that know quite well that we're much more dependent on your kin than your race is dependent on us. You could live without us, but Wraith cannot live without humans. I and most of my brethren have always been careful to keep the needed balance between culling worlds and letting populations grow and develop, and this not only because we wished to gain more feeding grounds this way. At first we didn't go on hibernation, and when we finally did, we knew that we'd be vulnerable and that those human races who have the technology for it could easily destroy most of our Hives during our centuries long sleep. It has happened, but not as often as a lot of us feared, and the bond between us and our worshipers has always been a sacred one only few clans have disrespected over the course of time.

So when my queen decided to cull these two worlds, I couldn't just stand there and watch her doing that, and if that makes me a traitor, then only because she was the first one to break our laws and betray those who trusted her to respect those laws that were meant to protect them.

The young queen I had warned was already awaiting us over the planet of the first world my traitorous queen wanted to cull, and her young ordnance officer was so skilled that the Hives of my clan were disabled and defenseless before we even had time to react. She could have destroyed my defenseless Hive easily, but she valued what I had done in order to save her worshipers and spared me and my crew. The Hive where my old queen was on board was destroyed because she didn't want to accept her defeat, but the young queen offered the crews of the remaining Hives to join her – if they swore their loyalty to her and would never betray the worlds under her protection again.

My Hive and the other two ones that were left accepted her offer, and she invited me to her Hive because she was curious and wanted to meet me personally. Her own Commander in chief had been killed because her Hive had taken some heavy damage during the battle as well, and she offered me his post. I accepted her offer, but the second of her old Commander challenged me because he'd hoped to be promoted after the death of his superior and become her new first Commander. I accepted the challenge and our combat took place in the arena on board her command Hive.”

Todd went silent again, and John pulled him in for another long and passionate kiss. He'd seen Todd fight before, and the image of a younger Todd fighting against another Wraith about the honor to become the first Commander of a powerful queen was doing things to him and his already over-boarding libido, and their kiss turned into a heated battle quickly, both of them out of breath when they parted again. Todd's eyes were full of passion for him, and his voice was husky when he continued with his narration.

“All of her senior and junior officers witnessed our fight, and I could feel the eyes of her young but so skilled ordnance officer on me the whole time. I won the fight and defeated my challenger, and the queen announced that I was her new first Commander from now on. Over the next days, weeks and months, her young ordnance officer sought my presence, and the rest is history as you would say. We served her together faithfully, and my younger lover proved himself to be a leader by nature. I taught him everything I could teach him, and after several centuries had passed, he'd climbed the ladder of rank up to my second-in-command and covered my back in each and every battle.”

Todd had come to a halt, his eyes looking into the distance, but John could see that his gaze was directed inwardly as he lost himself in the memories of a long gone past that was still so vivid in his mind because of his photographic memory. The dark-haired colonel waited, sensing how important it was to Todd to share these memories with him without being judged for what had happened long before John had even been born.

“You must understand John that I had been a homeless traveler for millennia before my old queen gave both back to me: a real home and my peace of mind. You would have loved her, John. She was everything – strong and beautiful, kind and caring, intelligent and of a wisdom only few living beings will ever have. She was powerful and merciless to her enemies, but never cruel and always forgiving, offering a home to those who valued any form of life as much as she did. I was happy to just be her Commander and serve her, and during the fifteen hundred years I had the honor to serve her and make the burden of responsibility easier for her to carry, I never felt the urge to leave her and seek new adventures. Sometimes I could even forget that there was this hole deep inside me soul, the gap no one could fill but my true _Animatus –_ you, John.

I was happy, and I had a faithful second-in-command who was also not only what Rodney is for you, a friend you can always count on no matter what, but also a passionate lover when we both craved to lose ourselves in the arms of another living being for some hours. But I made the mistake and underestimated his feelings for me. He hid them well for a very long time, and you must remember that we weren't awake the whole time but hibernated for years in between, John. I guess that he felt the same hole in his heart as I did, but instead of accepting that he would perhaps never find his real _Animatus,_ he projected his hopes on me and convinced himself that he and I were destined to be _Animatii._ It became an obsession to him, and when he demanded more from me than I could give him, I broke up with him and told him that I would leave.”

John swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat, and he embraced Todd with both arms and pillowed his head on the Wraith's shoulder. The ancient Commander pulled him close and rested his chin on top of John's head, carding with his fingers through John's short dark hair.

“Our queen had a younger sister, and her sister was supposed to leave her as she was old and strong enough now to build a new clan of her own around that time. She was like her older sister, and she offered my second-in-command to become her Commander and follow her when she would leave. Our last talk was painful, but he finally accepted that I wouldn't change my mind and accepted the offer of his new queen. Our clans have been allies until my beloved queen was killed by the younger sister of the one who'd betrayed our sacred laws centuries ago. After her death I found myself incapable of accepting the offers of any other queens and become their Commander.

For several centuries I led the clan of my deceased queen as their High Commander, but times were different back then, and when the queen of another powerful clan offered my crews to join her clan, they accepted and I left them. I became a traveler again, joining Hives and clans for some years because I needed a safe place to hibernate and because Wraith are not meant to live on their own and without the mental embrace of their brethren for too long, but even though I served other clans with my abilities and loyalty, but my heart never really found another place I could call home like I had once had. The first time I have felt like coming home again was when you showed me the moon and the stars after ten years of darkness, starvation and torture, John. Home is not a special place for me, not exclusively at least. Pegasus is my home because it's the home of my kin and the place of my origin, but it doesn't matter where in Pegasus I am, as long as you and me are together. My home is where you are – you are who makes me feel at peace with myself and at home, John.”

John hadn't realized that it was the same for him. He'd always thought that Atlantis had become his true home, but during the weeks on Earth, he'd found out that this was only part of the truth. Atlantis belonged to Pegasus, and he belonged to Pegasus as well now. The lethal threat of the Wraith didn't change that, and he'd thought that he would be happy and feel at home again after their return to Pegasus, but then Todd had left Atlantis and didn't give any sign of his location or well-being for weeks, and John had quickly started to feel restless and out of place again. Only Todd's return and his offer for a real alliance had given him his feeling of safety and peace of mind back, even though he had still fought against his feelings and hesitated to come on board Todd's Hive at first.

“It's the same for me, Todd. I'd thought that I would miss Atlantis and be homesick when I had to leave the city for three weeks, but I was wrong. As long as you'll be with me, I'll always feel that I am right where I truly belong.” he murmured into Todd's heavy coat, inhaling deeply the unique scent of his Wraith. For a while they just stood there, enjoying each other's company and their closeness without speaking.

“So he was the one leaving. But he never really got over you. Have you ever seen each other in between again?” John finally asked when he lifted his head from Todd's shoulder to meet his gaze.

“No, I did my best to avoid that, and I was surprised when he contacted me a couple of days ago – shortly after you'd come on board our Hive, John. During our time together, we were really close, brothers in arms, friends who understood each other without needing words – and lovers. He was my right hand in every sense of the meaning.

We both served our queen with greatest devotion, but he served me like only few seconds will serve their Commanders, and I could always be sure that he would never betray me or challenge me to become her first Commander himself. I'm still blaming myself that I didn't realize soon enough how obsessed he'd become with the thought that we were meant to be _Animatii –_ even though it was so obvious that we weren't that. I loved him as my faithful brother, but never in the way true _Animatii_ will feel for each other. My soul is responding to you, has been responding to you right from the first moment on, even if it took me some time to see the truth. But she has never responded to him in this special way.”

“Is it possible that this _Animatii_ thing can be one-sided, Todd?” John inquired, and the Wraith pursed his lips.

“I can't be sure, but I don't think so. It happens that one of the two beings that are destined to be together is fighting against this bond so hard that they will not feel the connection, but I don't think that this bond can be one-sided. You have fought against it, John, but I do believe that deep in your heart you have known the truth for a rather long time.” Todd said gently, and John nodded.

“Yes, you're probably right with that. But what about him? Do you know whether or not he's found his own mate since he left you?”

Todd looked down at him, and the deep emotions John could see in his eyes made him wish that they were alone on this planet and had more time than they actually had before they needed to return to the others.

“He has denied me a deeper mental connection so far, so I can't be sure about that either, but I have the suspicion that the violent reaction to our bond came from his own struggles. Finding your _Animatus_ doesn't always mean that you're happy with whom fate has chosen to be the right one for you. We are the best example for that, aren't we, Sheppard? Sometimes both participants of this special bond need a rather long time to accept the truth.”

John offered him one of his crooked smiles. “You're probably right with that, Todd. Just tell me one more thing before we go back – what did he mean when he said that you were the one taking revenge for the death of his queen?”

Todd remained silent for a moment, and his expression was strangely impassive when he finally answered in a voice that lacked any audible emotion:

“The Primary, John. You and Teyla were so angry when I killed the Primary, but it was necessary. The Primary was the younger sister of the queen who disrespected our laws and ordered the culling of the worshiper colonies. She was as ruthless as her older sister – one reason why she became the Primary in the first place. Her way to becoming the First Queen was stained with the blood of the queens she murdered to reach her goals. She was responsible for the death of my last queen, and she was responsible for the death of his queen. We had never met personally before I came on board her Hive together with Teyla, but she had set up a bounty on my person, and she recognized my mind-print when I was standing in front of her. It was I or her, and I don't regret what I had to do.”

John returned his gaze and cupped Todd's cheeks with his hands to pull his head down and rest their foreheads together. “I am glad that she didn't get the chance to kill you first, Todd,” he murmured, and the Wraith made a rumbling sound deep in his throat and pulled his human _Animatus_ closer to his body.

“I'm glad about that, too, John. Do you require another refreshing of your memory before we go back to the others again?”

John chuckled and buried his fingers in Todd's silvery mane again. “Definitely yes, Wraith,” he agreed, “another refreshing of my poor human memory is definitely required.”

The Wraith growled his contentment about John's wise decision, and for the next half an hour he was busied with proving his kissing skills to his human _Animatus_ again, a task both of them were all too happy to accomplish with utmost precision.


	12. During the Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John learns some interesting new things about his new friends and allies during the feast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this chapter took me so long, but real life continues to throw obstacles in my way when it comes to writing. As this is more or less a filler chapter before John's talk with the new Commander, I hope it will be at least a little bit enjoyable and not too boring.  
> The feedback for this story has been constantly decreasing more and more over the last chapters, so I'm not sure that the whole fic is still enjoyable and good enough anyway, but I hope that it still is. <33

The rest of the afternoon went by with the preparations for the feast and the celebrations which would take place later that evening, and John helped carrying tables and chairs to arrange them in a large rectangle in the middle of the market place that built the center of the large village.

The young Wraith were working side by side with the human worshipers of the colony, laughing and talking with them, and time was flying by quickly. Todd was busied on the other side of the settlement with some of the elder worshipers to check the fields, while John was arranging some of the chairs together with Baros, the foster-father of John's new female Wraith friend, and he finally addressed the question he'd been thinking about for a couple of hours already. He was actually glad and grateful that Todd had left him to his own devices for the time being, as this was yet all so new and also still easier for him to talk to the worshipers without their adored lord being there to listen to his curious and probably rather nosy questions.

“Can I ask you something, Baros?” he started, and the other man smiled at him.

“Of course, John. Our lord wishes that we will answer all of your questions with honesty and sincerity, and you don't need to fear that we will feel offended. We are well aware that this is all still difficult for you – and hard to believe and understand as well as your experiences with Wraith have been so different from ours. We know that your questions are not meant to insult us, but only to gain knowledge and insight into our symbiosis with our Wraith protectors. So please don't hesitate to ask whatever you need to know to learn more about us and our lord.”

“Thank you, Baros,” John said, and he was surprised how difficult it was for him to continue despite Baros' encouraging words. He didn't want to offend these kind people, but he needed to get some answers, and so he drew in a deep breath and just started to speak.

“The communication officer of your lord explained to me what a mindprint is, and why Wraith don't have names like we humans need to have to address and differentiate each other. It's clear that such mindprints are working perfectly among telepathic species – and are surely much more accurate than any human name can ever be - but you don't have such telepathic abilities, do you? So how do you address the young Wraith living here together with you without mixing them up and getting confused?” he asked, and he found himself holding his breath as he waited for the answer the faithful worshiper would hopefully be able and willing to give him.

Baros let go of the chair he'd just put down and leaned against the table as he contemplated his next words for a moment. He looked thoughtfully and not offended, which was obviously a pretty good thing.

“There is always only one young Wraith living with her or his human foster-family, John, and we usually address our Wraith children simply as 'daughter' or 'son'. When they are still very young, we will perhaps use endearments like 'darling' or so, but not all of us are doing that. If there are human siblings, then they will just call them 'sister' or 'brother'. When we have to address the young Wraith which are not part of our own family, then we address them with 'lord' or 'young lord' and with 'lady' or 'young queen'. Their teachers call them 'student' or 'lord/lady student', and it has always worked well for us – but I can see why this would seem to be confusing to you, John. It is confusing for new people coming here to live with us, but no human being that has grown up in Pegasus has ever thought of giving Wraith human names until you came to Atlantis.”

John nodded slowly. “Yes, I must admit that I find this rather confusing and difficult. But as long as you're okay with that, it's not up to me to judge your way of life.”

Baros chuckled lightly. “There have been secret discussions about using names for those Wraith we are serving faithfully for as long as such symbioses exist, John, but even though we feel safe under their protection, we have yet never dared to actually do that. You are right that sometimes it's rather difficult, but we have arranged ourselves and there are not so many young Wraith living with us that it has ever become a real issue.” He paused and looked into the distance for a moment.

“It might become an issue in the future when we will be getting a new junior lord and twenty-five more young Wraith to live with us, though,” he added thoughtfully, and John narrowed his eyes and regarded him attentively. He still wasn't sure how he felt about the other Commander – who'd once been Todd's lover and still seemed to have strong feelings for him.

“When, not 'if'?” he wanted to know. “Why are you so sure that it's a question of time and already a fact that he will become your junior lord, Baros?”

“Well, the other Commander is in dire straits with only three Hives left and twenty-five young Wraith and the homeless worshipers he is responsible for. Becoming our junior lord will not only solve his problems at once, but also mean that he will become part of a strong and powerful alliance and live under its protection, so it would be unreasonable not to agree to the proposal our lord has offered him. I have been informed about the additional conditions our lord expects his agreement to, and we are actually deeply thankful that Atlantis and your people are insisting on the cocoons not being used any longer. We have never questioned the existential need of our protectors to feed on human life-force, but the knowledge that our brothers and sisters from other worlds have been kept in these cocoons for weeks and months has always filled us with grief about their fate.”

“You're welcome, Baros. That was actually something your lord did on his own, although I'm really grateful that he set up this condition for all Hives belonging to his faction myself.” John murmured before he came back to their earlier topic. “Maybe the new Commander – his former second – will be thinking that he'll have to give up too much of his freedom and own beliefs to do so?” John mused aloud in order to hide his real concern from Baros, and the other man shot him a thoughtful glance.

“We are all aware that he and our lord share a certain history together, John. But you do not need to worry about the past. You are the chosen _Animatus_ of our adored lord, and no other living being could ever take your place. The bond between him and you is strong and unbreakable, we can all feel that. Our new junior lord will have to accept the path of life fate has chosen for all of us, we all have to accept it, whether we are humans or Wraith. None of us can change the fate the gods have decided for all beings living under their blessings.”

“I see.” John chewed on his bottom lip. “You don't think that your Wraith lords are gods, then?”

Baros inclined his head with a smile. “We know that other worshipers are doing that, but we never have. The kin our beloved lord belongs to is for sure one of the most powerful species that has ever lived in this universe, but they are no gods, and neither he, nor our adored Queen when she was still alive and protecting us, have ever expected us to treat and worship them as real gods, John.”

John felt utter relief at this important piece of information, and he returned Baros' smile. “It's good to know that. I'm not sure how I feel about others sensing this for me still new and a bit weird _'Animatus'_ -thing, but I'll have to get used to it, I think.”

“Yes, you should, John. Kya is my _Animata,_ and we always knew that, even when we were still just young children. It can be very consoling to know that your other half is waiting for you somewhere, and it is nothing you needed to be afraid or ashamed of. Don't you know this special bond in your own galaxy or home world?”

“There are stories about such bonds in books and movies,” John shrugged, “But otherwise? No, I don't think so. Maybe it's a special Pegasus-thing that has something to do with the Ancients and their mental abilities – the people who built Atlantis. They lived in my galaxy and even on my home world Earth for a long time, but they actually never shaped Earth or the Milky Way Galaxy like they shaped your home, Baros.”

Baros nodded his agreement. “That might be true, John. But to return to your question and the name-topic. The communication officer and third-in-command of our lord told us how carefully you have chosen his name and asked us to call him by his new name in the future. As our lord has also accepted the name you gifted him with, I am sure that wearing a special name that has been chosen with care will be regarded as a great honor among our protectors in the not so far away future.” He winked at John, and John stared at him for a moment, not sure whether he should actually feel happy about that prospect – or rather scared that he would have to come up with more appropriate names for still rather intimidating Wraith in the future.

*~*~*

Todd's former second and lover returned to the village with his entourage in tow two hours later, striding along the path with his head held up high and his coat swinging around his legs, but even John could feel the aura of misery surrounding him, and much to his own surprise, he almost felt pitiful that he was the cause for said misery.

The two officers who'd accompanied him earlier today were walking two steps behind him again, but this time he'd a new Wraith brought with him as well and who was walking in front of the four drones, but in respectful distance behind his Commander. His face was a mask of such carefully controlled indifference that John couldn't even guess what he was thinking or feeling, even the usually displayed arrogance and bored annoyance other Wraith loved to show in front of their food was lacking on his handsome features. The unknown Wraith wore his hair shoulder-long and tied back to a low short ponytail, and his coat was shorter and looked more like a jacket than the usual long coat Commanders and officers normally wore.

John couldn't tell why, but he liked the new Wraith right at first sight, and he would have given a lot to learn more about him and why he felt the need to lock his emotions away like that. His emotionless expression spoke of long-time practice and reminded John of his own younger self when he'd still been under the oppression of his father and the necessity of hiding his true self had been a matter of survival.

John was standing beside Todd again to greet the special guests, and he was surprised when the fourth Wraith darted him a quick glance out of glittering green-golden eyes before he re-adopted his expressionless posture again and looked straight forward, his vacant eyes fixed on the back of his Commander.

“Commander, it's a pleasure to have you here as our guests,” Todd greeted his former second with a smile that showed all of his pointed teeth, and the younger Wraith gritted his own in order not to let his own mask of courteous diplomacy slip.

“Thank you, High Commander. We are pleased and honored to accept your gracious invitation,” he ground out, deliberately ignoring John this time. The hazel-eyed colonel felt some of his pity and gracious mood fade at the obvious insult, but Todd's hand was a solid weight between his shoulder blades, and as long as he could be sure of his Wraith's feelings, he didn't need to worry about any other Wraith and their impolite behavior.

Mayor Logan stepped forward and beckoned the new Wraith to follow him to the market place where the tables were set up with food and flower bouquets. “Commander, we are most pleased that you want to celebrate with us tonight,” he said, and John wanted to roll his eyes, but suppressed the urge when a small hand stole itself into his right one and he turned his head to meet the golden gaze of his new friend.

He smiled at the young Wraith, and she smiled back at him and squeezed his fingers with her own in silent understanding. John had been surprised that she wasn't in the center of attention and treated like a queen already as the female Wraith she was, but considering how Todd had always behaved in front of queens or when it came to their status in general, it was probably not as surprising as it seemed to be at first sight. Apart from that, the beautiful alien female would be a much better queen if she wasn't treated like the goddess-like absolutist ruler all the queens John had met so far had been. It was a step in the right direction, and his beautiful friend seemed to be comfortable and fine with her role and that she could grow up in peace and safety without having to be a real queen at such a young age already.

Somehow it was also truly reassuring that Wraith teenagers were not so different from human ones when it came to diplomatic games and schemes and all the boring and endlessly lasting social pleasantries that were never honest and nothing more than the poorly concealed attempt to hide one's true (and usually selfish and bad) intentions from the other faction that was participating in those social encounters and events.

Until a few weeks ago the thought of holding hands with a female Wraith would have been an unthinkable one to him, but here he stood, holding hands with a beautiful young future queen and actually loving it. His Wraith mate – his _Animatus –_ was standing at his other side, and John would never have thought it possible, but he actually felt safe and comfortable standing here between two Wraith, and this fact alone proved to him how much had changed since their return to Pegasus – how much he had changed.

But all these changes were necessary if they really wanted to build a new hope- and peaceful future for both of their species, and his own personal feelings about the other Commander had to be less important than the chance to win him and his Hives for their alliance. Todd had assured him that the younger Commander belonged to his past, and that John was his present and his future, and this was all that should matter to him. He let his eyes travel to the Wraith standing alone and behind his Commander again, and for a moment their eyes met.

The younger Commander turned his head a little bit in the very same minute, and he frowned when he found John's attention focused on his underling like that, but he didn't say anything, just held his chin up a little bit higher as he started to move and followed Logan to the tables at last.

“Well, that will become quite an interesting evening,” John murmured to himself as he did the same and walked over to the table together with Todd and the young Wraith, and as things stood, he was actually really looking forward to the feast and how their Wraith guests would behave during the opulent dinner, even more so as Todd was smiling at him now, his clawed hand still on John's back. The Wraith's long fingers were caressing him over his jacket ever so slightly, so he wasn't the one who needed to worry about anything tonight, but his unexpected rival about Todd's affection, who actually wasn't a rival at all thinking back of the heated kisses he and Todd had shared this afternoon.

But he was really curious about the silent Wraith and his role among the younger Commander's crew, and John was also pretty hungry as he had to admit. The food Todd's worshipers had prepared smelled truly delicious, and he really wanted to sit down and be allowed to finally eat before everything got cold.

“You will sit at my right side, John,” Todd informed him quietly as they were making their way to their seats, “Mayor Logan will have the seat at my left side – while our guests will sit opposite us on the other small side of the tables.”

“As long as I can sit with you, I'm fine with everything, Todd,” John whispered back, and he shared a passionate look with his Wraith, suddenly wishing that they were already back on board their Hive and alone with each other, even forgetting his hunger about this tempting prospect for a moment.

*~*~*

The food tasted as delicious as it smelled, and John enjoyed each bite of it. Todd's worshipers offered not only fruits and vegetables like John had more or less expected them to do, but also venison, something like chicken. cheese and fresh bread, and the light wine they served together with the food made up for the lack of beer which John usually preferred to drink.

His stomach rumbled in happy anticipation of finally being filled, and for the first half an hour John was oblivious to the talks around him and busied with quieting the angry bear inside him that was growling so loudly. He had been surprised when not only Danilo and Todd's other two officers had sat down at the tables as well, sitting in between the worshipers and the young Wraith and talking amiably with them, but that the three Wraith who'd accompanied their Commander had done the same instead of just posing and looming behind their superior like alien bodyguards. They hadn't mingled with their humans hosts like Todd's Wraith had done, though, but were flanking their superior on the other small end of the tables, nibbling at some of the fruits with the usual annoyed expressions on their faces John had come to know and dislike so well. The fourth Wraith was the exception from the role again, his face calm but not unfriendly and almost curious now – just as if he was grateful that he was spared his usual duties and could focus on other people than his own brethren for once.

The hazel-eyed colonel was a trained and attentive soldier, and he didn't miss the furtive and curious glances the foreign Wraith officers were giving the worshipers and the young Wraith that lived in Todd's colonly, and he suspected that they were showing this arrogant behavior because their Commander had ordered them not to appear too friendly, or because they were all simply trying to hide their insecurities about the new circumstances they found themselves confronted with all of a sudden. He could feel their brief hidden glances on his own face as well now and then, and he enjoyed himself and smiled back at them whenever he caught one of them staring at him for a second.

The new Wraith that had come with Todd's former lover was sitting on his own, on the first chair at the long side of the table, and he was ignoring his own people and listening attentively to Alyna, Logan's deputy. John couldn't hear what she was talking about, but it must be something that could even fascinate a proud immortal Wraith, and John thought again that he would really like to learn more about this mysterious underling of the younger Commander.

“He's the Commander's chief scientist.” Danilo's quiet voice startled John, and he turned his head to look at him. He already wanted to ask whether or not Danilo had been reading his thoughts, but he realized that his own behavior must have been rather obvious as well, and so he snapped his mouth shut again before he could accuse his friend of something Danilo would never try to do.

Todd was involved in a discussion with Logan about a new irrigation system that needed to be built before winter came, and even though John could pride himself on being a man of many skills, talents and high intelligence, but he wasn't an engineer, and building an irrigation system really didn't belong to his talents.

“Pardon me?” he murmured back, and Danilo smiled at him.

“The crew-member over there, the one you're watching the whole time – he's the chief scientist of the three Hives under the Commander's command.” Danilo explained, and John frowned.

“Huh. I'm not good at judging a Wraith's age, but to me he looks a bit young for that,” he mused, and Danilo's smile deepened.

“Talent is not a question of age, John, you should know that. He will join our team of scientists that is searching for a cure for the feeding problem, that's why the Commander ordered him to accompany him tonight. Otherwise he would have stayed on board the Hive as scientists are usually not allowed to be part of negotiations between different Wraith factions.”

John's frown deepened, and he forget that he was hungry and let his fork drop back onto the plate.

“That seems to be pretty dense? I have always valued Rodney's view on things and scientific knowledge to be very important during negotiations. Or Carson's, Jennifer's and the ideas or concerns of any other scientist that belongs to our expedition team. I know that it does not always look like that, but it has always worked for us in Atlantis – much better than it did when only military was involved.”

“I agree with you, John, and so does our High Commander. The arrogance and disregard military staff often displays towards scientists or civilian members of crews or expedition teams is another thing Wraith and humans have in common as it would seem,” Danilo stated, and John grinned at him.

“You're military yourself, _officer,”_ he joked, “this coming from you of all people is pretty funny.”

Danilo gave him a long look under raised brow-ridges. “Not all military people are like that, John. You surely aren't,” he replied, chiding him gently in return, but he smiled at John as warmly as any Wraith was able to do with such sharp and pointed teeth.

“Yes, I guess so,” John agreed, finally picking up his fork again, just to let it fall back down again when Danilo added:

“He and the Commander are also destined _Animatii.”_

“They are – _what?!”_ John stammered, thankfully remembering not to shout in the very last second.

“They are destined _Animatii._ I can feel the connection between them, even though both of them are shielding their thoughts and feelings from us.” Todd's communication officer repeated calmly, looking back and forth between the Commander and his chief scientist. “You won't be surprised when I tell you that the Commander is not happy about it,” he said, and John really wasn't.

“Do I need to worry about it? Your Commander offered him to join our alliance, and he could turn against us because of his hurt feelings and the fact that his former lover and superior chose me – a weak human – before him.”

Danilo's features softened. “You're anything but weak, John, and no Wraith meeting you will ever think that you are. Apart from that, you _can't_ choose your _Animatus,_ John. You will meet them at some point of your life, or perhaps never meet them for whatever reason, but you can't just choose the one you'd prefer to have as the other half of your soul. Life and this special bond doesn't work like that. There will be people you care for and truly love, but there will be only one completing you and being the one your soul will respond to. You can fight against it for some time, but in the end the pull will be too strong for you to resist it.”

“You don't need to remind me how long I have fought against the pull, Danilo, I'm aware of that,” John shrugged with a sheepish grin, and Danilo made a calming gesture with his hand. Todd was still talking to Logan, but John was certain that he was knowing what he and Danilo were talking about with his superior senses, and that he was just granting John his own privacy and talk with his communication officer. But he would surely address this delicate topic later when they were alone with each other.

“Oh, I didn't mean you with that, John. Please believe me when I say that all of us, each of the crews of the Hives that belong to our alliance, know how difficult it was for you, and we would never judge you for your struggles and mistrust. Dwelling in the past won't help either of us, the present and the future is what matters now.”

“I see, thank you.” John shot the Commander a quick look, and he wasn't surprised when he found the Wraith with the strinkingly beautiful features gazing at his scientist with a mixture of longing, frustration and anger. He was clearly feeling the pull of the strong invisible bond between himself and his chosen one, no matter how much he was denying it. The alien male schooled his features back into a mask of annoyed arrogance quickly again when he sensed someone watching him, though, and he raised his head to stare at John from over the tables.

John stared back without blinking, hardly moving his lips when he asked his friend:

“But you think that we can trust him?”

“Yes, we can trust him, John. He has always been the faithful second of our High Commander for as long as they served the same queen together, and I sense no evil coming from him. He's hurt, torn and angry, but he would never turn against the one who taught him everything he knows and values.”

John's eyes fell onto the tattoo the Commander wore right above his left eye, and he pursed his lips in deep thoughts as he tried to remember of what it actually reminded him – or better of who. He didn't possess a photographic memory, but he still remembered the truly interesting lessons about the ancient military lessons he had attended in the US Air Force classes about military strategy, especiallythose lessons about the Roman military and legions, and his eyes widened when he eventually realized what had been sitting in his mind ever since Todd had told him more about his past and which role the younger Commander had taken in his life in the past and he'd seen the tattoo for the first time.

“Like Caesar and his faithful general,” he murmured, and this time it was Danilo who frowned and asked:

“Excuse me, John? I don't think that I understand what you mean.”

“Never mind, Danilo. I was just thinking of one of the historical military classes I attended on Earth during my time in the Air Force. There has once been an ancient Roman Commander, powerful and conquering entire countries for the glory of his own beloved 'queen' – the Roman Empire. He had a faithful second like your High Commander has had in this other Commander, a general who followed him to hell and back and everywhere he went. When the Roman Commander died, his general refused to bend his knee before the new emperor but fought against him, and he remained faithful to the dreams and visions his adored Commander had had.”

John blushed a bit as he gifted Danilo with one of his crooked smiles. “This is the romantic and rather short version of the whole and far more complicated story. There is also a real human queen involved both the Commander and his general loved, and the emperor was ruthless, but not really the bad guy but actually one of the most remarkable and important rulers of the Roman Empire ever. But the loyalty Todd's former second-in-command has always shown – and also his tattoo that looks like two ornate Earthen letters – remind me of said Commander and his general.”

Danilo regarded him with a smile of his own. “Something tells me that you're thinking about giving him a name – the name of said general, I assume?”

John shrugged again. “Maybe? As Todd has more than just one sub-Commander, it would be good thing to do to give all of them names to differentiate them from each other and make things easier for us poor head-blind human allies. And the name of this general would be an old and honorable name as well. But you will understand that I can't tell you more about such a possible name before I have spoken to the soon-to-be junior lord of this colony and proposed it to him, right?”

“Of course, John.” Danilo inclined his head, but he actually looked a bit disappointed and curious. So Wraith did know curiosity, another thing their species had in common. “So you plan to talk to the Commander? Alone, I mean?”

John lifted his chin up and leaned back in his chair with his arms folded before his chest and his foot tapping rhythmically against the ground.

“Oh yes, I will talk to him, as soon as I'll get the chance to catch him alone. It will for sure be an interesting talk,” the hazel-eyed colonel said, and the long appraising and even admiring look Danilo gave him left no doubt that he believed this talk to be an interesting one just as much.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Fanart for 'The Things Unspoken'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24849235) by [picturae (Eos_x)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eos_x/pseuds/picturae)




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